Why Is My Clit Big

Why Is My Clit Big

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Reminder: vulvas come in all shapes and sizes.
For the longest time I thought my big clit was wrong, abnormal and gross. In short, my clitoris, aka the only organ in my body whose sole purpose was sexual pleasure, was the thing bringing me the most displeasure.
When I was a preteen, part of me thought I might be intersex . My genitals looked nothing like the ones I’d seen in porn, which was the only frame of reference I had. All I saw was tiny, almost nonexistent and neatly tucked clits that looked nothing like mine. “If that’s what clitorises are supposed to look like”, I thought, “then there’s clearly something wrong with mine”.
I spent most of my formative years avoiding sexual encounters because I was afraid guys would be disgusted by my clit. Until the age of 18, I hadn’t ever gone past snogging. My own clit was my biggest cockblock, but how was I supposed to know I was “normal”?
"My big clit was my biggest cockblock"
Outside of porn and very disappointing sex ed, nobody had taught me that vulvas come in all shapes, sizes, textures and hues. None of my girlfriends were walking around proudly bantering about how big their clit was the way my male friends did about their dicks. All I knew was that supposedly men could never find it, which was confusing because mine was definitely not hard to spot.
The taboo surrounding female sexual and reproductive health means a lot of women and people with vulvas have a warped perception of what their genitals should look like. The truth is, there is no such thing as “normal”, and a recent study measuring vulvas published in the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology confirms it. The study concluded that an “average” simply cannot exist because the range is so wide. In fact, when it came to the participants’ clitorises (the visible part, anyway), they measured anywhere between 0.5 mm to 3.4 cm in length.
Basically, every clit is as unique as the person who owns it - and for some of us, it sticks out of our labia and gets hard when we’re turned on. But no matter how often I’m told there’s nothing wrong with my clit, or how many men have enthusiastically eaten me out, I’m still insecure about my large-and-in-charge clit.
"Every clit is as unique as the person who owns it"
Society, unfortunately tells us vulvas should look neat, symmetrical and as inoffensive as possible. So, having the exact opposite of that has made me feel unfeminine and undesirable my whole life. It doesn’t help that Googling “big clit” only drudges up obscure fetish porn clips that make me feel like a freak, either.
Gemma*, a 27-year-old product manager also found being told she had a large clitoris impacted her confidence. “I was having sex with my ex-boyfriend and he made a comment about it being really big. He said when I was turned on it becomes ‘like a beak’, and gets bigger compared to his ex-partners’,” she says.
“He really liked it and said he loved being able to see me being aroused, but made such a thing about it being different that when I looked in the mirror I thought I could maybe see what he saw. It put me off letting him get to business at times. I’d hate him going down on me with the light on so he could see me up close. Now, I think I have become more comfortable with what my body as a whole looks like, clit included.”
And like me, for music publicist Eki it was the adult films she watched as a young girl that affected her clit confidence. “When I was about 12, I was watching porn and saw all the girls’ vulvas looked really neat and nothing like mine. I instantly hated my clit, was always embarrassed by it and it put me off losing my virginity for a long time ,” she says. “For years I wouldn’t let guys finger me or give me head because I didn’t like the way it looked, and didn’t want judgement. The first time a guy went down on me I was so nervous I was shaking. He was really nice and understanding about it, and kept reassuring me there was nothing wrong with it.”
Now 22 and in a relationship, Eki has learned to love and accept her genitals. “I’ve since been perfectly confident about it in the bedroom and have a very enjoyable sex life. There’s a serious lack of education for young people about their genitals, particularly vulvas, which can make young girls feel like their oversized clitoris isn’t normal, when it is.”
While the size of your clit doesn’t actually determine sexual satisfaction, genital self-esteem does. If we go into any sexual situation thinking our body is in any way wrong or gross, it’s probably not going to go well.
“It’s important to note that confidence about our genital anatomy is likely to have as much as, or even more of, an impact on sexual functioning than how our anatomy looks,” says Dr. Karen Gurney, clinical psychologist and psychosexologist at the Havelock Clinic .
“Sexual sensation and pleasure is heightened when our minds are free to focus and indulge in it, so it is likely that the size of one’s clitoris is less likely than our experience during sex to make the difference.”
It’s true what they say: size doesn’t matter.
Women and people who have vulvas are often left to their own devices when it comes to their sexual health and pleasure, but knowledge about the clitoris (or the whole vulva, for that matter) shouldn’t be a fun hobby reserved for nerdy, sex-positive feminists. In fact, Dr. Gurney believes that kind of knowledge is crucial for self-confidence.
"Surround yourself with as much visual diversity as you can"
“As with any other body image concern, the best way to tackle it is to surround yourself with as much visual diversity as you can,” she says. “Spend some time looking at pictures of the variety of clitoris shapes and sizes on sites such as @thevulvagallery on Instagram, an incredible platform showing drawings of real life vulvas of all shapes and sizes which is really useful for gaining confidence that your body is normal and to be celebrated.”
Had I known at 13 what I know now about my body, I wouldn’t have such a love-hate relationship with my clit like I do now. Whatever the size of your clit, whether it’s smaller than a pencil eraser, or about as subtle as a flashing neon arrow, it is ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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It’s mysterious, it’s big, and it’s the most vital part of your sexual anatomy.
Just in case no one has told you yet, there’s something you should know about your clitoris: It’s not just a tiny little spot above your vagina but a wishbone-shaped structure that extends anywhere from 7 to 13 centimeters into your body. And the whole thing plays a key role in your sex life. About 73 percent of women say stimulating the clitoris either enhances or is totally necessary for their orgasms, according to a study from Indiana University, the Kinsey Institute, and OMGYes, an online site for orgasm education.
For such a little thing, the clitoris has a ton of power. But because the vast majority of it is hidden away inside your bod, it gets unfairly overlooked! In the interest of increasing worldwide cliteracy, here’s a quick primer on everything you should know about your most vital sex organ.
There haven’t been nearly as many studies on the size of the clitoris as the size of the average penis (big surprise there), but at 17 centimeters long, the clitoris is the same size as the average erect penis at about 5.1 inches. So, maybe it’s high time we add Big Clitoris Energy to the narrative.
While you have no real way of easily knowing the size of your own clitoris, since it’s mostly inside you, it doesn’t really matter anyway. A bigger clitoris doesn’t necessarily mean a more sensitive, more easily aroused clitoris.
If you can’t tell by now, the clitoris and penis have a lot in common. When it’s stimulated (either directly through touch, less directly through penetration, or with a special combo of both), the erectile tissue on the interior clitoris swells—just like a D becomes erect.
In 1998, an Australian urologist named Helen O’Connell published findings that showed both the external and internal structure of the clitoris, according to the Huffington Post . It’s shaped kind of like a wishbone. And she didn’t stop there—in 2005, O’Connell published more findings showing that the clitoris extends behind the vaginal wall.
Most people think of clitoral stimulation as something that only happens on the outside of the body, on the little rosebud that sits near your vagina. But because of its shape and structure, the clitoris can also appreciate indirect stimulation from penetration, which is why some people swear by vaginal orgasms, according to Jenny Block , author of The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex .
In 2009, a team of researchers published a study that showed how the vagina flexes and changes during penetration. What they found was that the vagina moves in a way that allows for the penis to hit the internal parts of the clitoris. More research is still needed, but *THE MORE YOU KNOW*.
There are so many toys and doodads for getting the clitoris aroused for a reason. Some toys, like the Satisfyer , use fancy pressure waves directly on the clitoris, while others, like the Crave Vesper , just use straight-up vibration to stimulate.

Is sexual arousal what’s making my lady parts swell so big?

by
jmartinache
February 25th, 2011 May 14th, 2021
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I am 50 and a lesbian. I have had a pretty active sex life for the last 30 years, including a couple of long-term relationships. For the last three years, I’ve been with a woman I love very much. We have amazing sexual chemistry—by far the best I have experienced.
For the last two years, I have noticed that my clitoris is getting bigger. Not trans-man-takes-testosterone big, but substantially bigger than it has ever been. I thought it was due to a big increase in sexual excitement, but it soon became clear that the enlargement was a permanent thing. It gets much more erect than it used to and often throbs or twitches after I come.
No one’s complaining. I am enjoying the heightened sexual arousal, and my girlfriend (who is very GGG) is thrilled. But why/how is this happening? Could it get even bigger? And why now? I hit menopause seven years ago, so it’s not some weird hormone surge. Could our sexual connection have caused this all by itself? I don’t really want to ask my gynecologist, though I did notice her checking out my equipment with wide eyes at my last checkup . —Stiffie Needs A Zipcode
“I always like to hear from people who are satisfied with their sex lives and relationships,” says author, sex researcher, vulva-puppeteer, and archrival sex-advice columnist Debby Herbenick, and I have to agree. Most of our mail comes from people who are unhappy with their sex lives and/or dissatisfied with their relationships. It’s always nice to hear from folks who are having fun.
What’s not so nice is that we sometimes have to tell happy-and-satisfied folks that something may be seriously wrong.
“I would strongly encourage her to ask her gynecologist about her enlarged clitoris,” says Herbenick. “She should be very clear about the fact that it has increased in size. She should let her know when she first noticed this and roughly how much she thinks it’s increased in size.”
If your gynecologist isn’t comfortable talking with you about your clit—if she just stands there gaping at it—get a new gynecologist. Because your megaclit could be a symptom of something very, very serious.
“You need your doctor to examine your clit and rule out various medical conditions that could cause hormonal problems,” says Herbenick. “Sometimes these are benign health conditions. Unfortunately, sometimes they include vulvar cancers, ovarian cancers, and adrenal cancers that, for example, may present with symptoms including an enlarged clitoris.”
Some women believe their clitorises “grew” after menopause, but that’s not usually the case. When estrogen levels drop during menopause, other parts of the vulva—such as the labia—can become flatter or less prominent, which can in turn make the clitoris appear bigger. “However, she’s been in menopause for a long time,” says Herbenick, “and it sounds like the clitoral change happened well into menopause.” And amazing sex does not supersize clits: “High levels of arousal usually result in only a temporary swelling of the clitoris,” Herbenick says.
Make another appointment to see your doctor, SNAZ, “and keep asking questions until she’s sure that medical conditions, such as cancers, have been ruled out,” Herbenick urges.
And, again, if your gynecologist doesn’t want to discuss it or was too stupid to spot what could be a symptom of common lady-parts cancers (!), time to get a new gynecologist. —Dan
My husband is beautiful, awesome, etc. Unfortunately, his dick is small. It wasn’t so bad our first few years together; he knows how to work what he’s got. But then I had a baby, and I tore. A few days later, my stitches tore. My six-week checkup turned out to be a poke in the stomach to confirm that my uterus was back in place, and when I asked why I couldn’t get restitched, the doctor told me, “Vaginas are very forgiving.” But a year later, Kegels aren’t helping and both of us are having trouble getting off.
He enjoys anal sex, but it’s not really fulfilling for me. I want to get a vaginoplasty to fit him, but I’ll have to wait till we’ve saved up enough money to pay for it. Please, Dan, tell me how to have hotter sex with a small dick and a shredded kitty. —Unforgiving
“Many women who have had multiple or traumatic births—and it sounds like she had a good deal of tearing—have some degree of prolapse,” says Herbenick. (A uterine prolapse, says the Wiki, “occurs when the female pelvic organs fall from their normal position, into or through the vagina.”)
“If she did have prolapse,” says Herbenick, “she may be a candidate for anterior or posterior vaginal wall repair, which is quite similar to vaginal ‘rejuvenation’ surgeries, and then insurance may cover the surgery.
“Some people will wildly disagree with me and say that women shouldn’t have surgery ‘to please their man,’ but I don’t see that here,” Herbenick adds. “I see two people who are married and want better sex, and she may have experienced some physical changes that have affected that. And there are ways to fix it.”
Herbenick is the associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and the author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction , a book that I strongly recommend even though she once attacked me with a vulva puppet in a room full of people. —Dan
I live in Ann Arbor, Mich. Grange, a local restaurant, has a cocktail called “GGGinger.” Is it possible for a cocktail to be GGG? And how does it feel to have inspired one? —Curious Cocktail Connection
I’m saddened to report the GGGinger’s Gs refer to three of the gin-based cocktail’s ingredients—ginger beer, candied ginger, and ginger syrup—and not to the Savage Love meme “good, giving, and game.” Still, Grange co-owner Brandon Johns is confident that his GGGingers have inspired GGG behavior all over Ann Arbor.
“It’s been our most popular drink since we opened,” says Johns, “so it must be doing something right.”
And in other, more successful Savage Love memes…Former U.S. senator and current presidential candidolt Rick Santorum “opened up” to Roll Call last week about his “longtime Google problem,” aka “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex” and always the No. 1 search result when you Google the former senator’s last name.
“It’s one guy,” Santorum told Roll Call . “You know who it is… It’s unfortunate that we have someone who obviously has some issues.”
I do have issues—I have lots of issues—but I take particular issue with politicians who compare loving, stable same-sex relationships to “man on dog” sex, as Santorum has done, or who would ban same-sex marriage and adoptions by same-sex couples, as Santorum has promised to do if he gets elected president. But the lowercase-“s” santorum campaign wasn’t “one guy.” A lot of people were involved—from the Savage Love reader who first suggested that we r
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