Why Do Women Like Jerks
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Why Do Women Like Jerks
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This Is Why Some Women Are Attracted to Jerks, According to Experts
Diana is a senior editor who writes about sex and relationships, modern dating trends, and health and wellness. Read
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Learn the psychology behind being drawn to men who are bad for you.
We all know the type: the kind of guy who seems to be with another woman every night, is hopelessly commitment-phobic , answers your texts sporadically, and only shows up at your house at 2 a.m. He's the worst, and yet, you or someone you know has probably fallen for him. The question is, why are women attracted to jerks?
To be fair, you might not realize he's a jerk at first, and that can be a huge part of the problem. These men often know how to present a much more appealing version of themselves in the beginning.
"M any jerks are highly charismatic," says clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly , PhD . "As such, they wear masks that draw in a potential partner with kindness and charm. Then, once a new partner is captured, the mask is taken off slowly but surely to reveal the true man underneath. This transition often occurs so gradually that the partner is unaware of the slow changes until the situation becomes obvious and intolerable."
But once you know he's a jerk, why not just kick him to the curb? It's a bit more complicated than that. Some experts believe that an attraction to jerks could be indicative of an unhealthy attachment style that is inherited from your relationship with your parents. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb
" Some women may find themselves attracted to unhealthy partners due to the attachment style they learnt as they were growing up," explains clinical psychologist Clinton Moore , PhD. "A classic example is narcissistic parents who are pros at being cold and distant. If you've grown up in this dynamic, then you're more likely to be attracted to people who are distant or practice techniques like negging , and nice guys who pay you attention will seem boring or smothering."
But one could also make the argument that pop culture is at fault here. There are tons of movies like Cruel Intentions that feature a sweet, caring woman reforming a narcissistic, philandering sociopath through the sheer power of her goodness. Of course, in the real world, this doesn't actually work—but it sure makes for a compelling narrative and an enticing fantasy to try to reproduce in real life.
"Some women view it as a challenge, which is exciting to them," notes clinical psychologis t Kimberly M. Daniels , PsyD . "If I can get this guy to be a good guy, it makes me feel better about myself. That can be really exciting for some women. And it can make them feel more powerful, too."
The problem, Daniels adds, is that "our society still portrays jerks as powerful and masculine," which means many men might be tempted to act like jerks in order to attract women, even if it goes against their true nature.
The good news is that just because you've been drawn to jerks in the past doesn't mean you have to be in the future. Remember, they're never worth your time—and maybe knowing where that attraction comes from can help you steer clear down the line. And if you're worried your current beau might not be all that serious, learn the 17 Subtle Signs Your Relationship Is Just a Fling .
But you can easily reverse the clock.
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The question of “Why do girls like jerks so much?” is a pretty common one when it comes to dating and seduction. Understanding the reasoning behind it is massively important if you want to attract and seduce women who always seem to like guys who act like jerks.
That’s because knowing why jerks and assholes are so irresistible to women will provide many insights into the underlying laws of attraction. These are insights that you’ll be able to use later to enhance your own personality and make girls want you more.
So instead of asking equally clueless guys “why do girls like assholes?” read on below because I’m about to reveal the ultimate thing that makes girls want you.
It’s pretty well-known that girls often prefer exciting and adventurous men compared to guys who are timid and meek. But why exactly is that the case?
The main answer is because jerks and assholes, being the way they are, elicit very strong emotions in women. And as I always say -- emotions are the main currency of attraction!
Simply put, nice guys tend to be boring, predictable and not very exciting. They’re afraid of touching women, teasing them and doing anything to offend them. So when a girl goes on a date with a nice guy, she’ll often end up being bored. And boring guys don’t exactly succeed in igniting any passion and attraction in women.
Assholes and jerks, on the other hand, don’t really give a damn about what other people think of them. They tend to act impulsively, brazenly and spontaneously. They aren’t afraid to tease girls, offend them, ruffle their feathers and become increasingly more physical with them. Most importantly, they also tend to assert their views much more than timid men do.
That’s why when girls go on dates with "jerks," these girls often end up having tons of fun and experiencing many different emotions. Those emotions are key to making the whole date exciting and unforgettable.
Also, these guys have an easier time getting dates in general because they have a confident and couldn’t-care-less attitude about dating. You can also learn how to do that by going through our in-depth and massively helpful video course on how to approach women and create powerful attraction .
The interesting and important thing about emotions in seduction is that they don’t always have to be positive ones. This is something that many people don’t realize because it’s very contrary to popular belief. However, it's still the key to making a girl like you .
A little sprinkle of anxiety, unease and even fear can go a long way to make a dull experience into something unforgettable.
For example, when a girl gets on a motorcycle with a bad boy, there’s a little fear involved. She has lost control, and her life is now in the bad boy’s hands. This can be incredibly exciting.
A guy might also pin her against the wall, tease her with an almost-kiss and then continue the conversation as if nothing happens. This frustration can ignite her passions, and she’ll want more from the guy.
As you can see, the answer to “why do women like assholes?” lies in being able to experience many different emotions with them. She feels a little uneasiness, a little frustration, and maybe a little anger - all signs of flaming passion. These emotions make her all hot and bothered and that's what women want in a man .
Just keep in mind not to just go around insulting women and making her feel negative emotions willy-nilly. This might then prompt you to ask “then why do girls like assholes if it’s not about being mean?” Well, as you will see in the explanation below, it’s about being more than just that.
So why do girls like mean guys who do mean things?
By that, I mean women don’t like certain men specifically because of the mean things they do. They simply like a certain vibe these men possess and exude.
The dangerous vibe some men have about themselves draws many women in. Not all women will be drawn to it because not everyone’s the same. But women who like excitement, drama, adventure, mystery and similar things will be drawn like moths to a flame.
These men pretty much do whatever the hell they want because they often don’t follow social norms. Instead, they follow their own path in life and sometimes people around them get unintentionally hurt as a result. It’s why they’re often referred to as “rebels” and even assholes.
A lot of women like guys who go against the grain (even a female coworker who might be crushing on you ). These women have been behaving like good girls all this time, and a guy who goes against the norm excites them.
Unpredictability also plays an important role behind the irresistible, magnetic draw that jerks and assholes seem to have on women.
So why do girls like jerks who are unpredictable so much? The reason behind this, once again, is that unpredictability makes these guys anything but boring.
When you go on a date with such a guy, you never know what’s going to happen. You don’t know what new and thrilling things you’ll experience. One minute you’re having a conversation at a bar, and the next you’re driving cross-country. This spontaneity adds that excitement that many women want. Even shy girls can't resist this .
This is a huge part of the draw and makes the whole encounter mysterious and compelling. It breaks down the dull monotony of a life filled with rules and routines.
Keep in mind that this usually works much better on younger women than older women. Older women aren’t really into the whole “living on the edge” thing as much as they may have been when they were younger.
Another thing that’s massively attractive to pretty much all women is that jerks and assholes are always unapologetic about their sexuality.
What this means is they don’t hide the fact that they want to sleep with women. They’re not afraid of women knowing they want them sexually. They want women to know that they’d ravage them and make them scream with pleasure if they were to hook up.
Guys like that are not afraid to be physical with girls, to pull them in, pick them up and kiss them. They’re not afraid to pin a girl against the wall or against the bed and make all their horny fantasies come true.
And most importantly, guys like that are completely non-judgmental when it comes to sex and sexuality. Women appreciate this quality greatly. With plenty of men who still slut-shame women for being sexually promiscuous, women find it refreshing to find a guy who doesn’t care about their sexual history.
All of this is very liberating for women. Girls know that "jerks" can bring out their kinky side.
So how is knowing the answer to “why do women like assholes?” going to help you with seduction, specifically?
The answer is pretty simple now that you know what makes these guys so attractive to women. You can start developing all these great traits while ditching all the negative qualities these men possess. This will help you take in the best parts of bad boys without getting any of the negative stuff that actually repels people. It's a way to test if a girl likes you for who you are--getting her riled up without necessarily being an asshole.
So, to become significantly more attractive, focus on the following: Start being more assertive and decisive in your day to day life. Stand up for yourself when it matters. No one likes a pushover who doesn’t stand up for himself. This will not only help you with girls but also with life in general.
Also, strive to keep your dates as fun as possible. A “jerk” won’t just take a girl to a restaurant in the hopes that she’ll realize that he’s a great guy.
Instead, get out of your comfort zone and go do an exciting activity together. Go dancing, surfing, paragliding, or hell, play strip poker. Dates are meant to be fun and never boring, so think outside the box and find something to do which will make you both feel alive. Girls won't like you if you're boring!
And lastly, quit trying to hide the fact that you’re a sexual guy. You know it, and she knows it, so you might as well have it out in the open.
“Why do girls like jerks?” In reality, they just like his wild side.
It’s now up to you to use this knowledge to your advantage and start to incorporate all their best qualities into your own personality. Take her on an exciting emotional roller coaster to always keep her on her toes!
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