Why Do I Like Being Submissive

Why Do I Like Being Submissive

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Ladies why do you like being submissive and dominated in a relationship?

In the bedroom, yes. Outside of it, hell no. I want a partner, not someone that dictates everything. I can compromise but no way can I be told what to do constantly.
so its a bedroom thing that u transfer to everything else?
I think a man should LEAD his woman. Its a different kind of domination in the bedroom. Outside of it you use mental domination to give your lady a calm peace of mind. Let her know sht is taken care of.
I don't know if dominated is the right word but women need a man she can respect and depend on in order to be attracted. Even the independent need to know that they can depend on their man if need be.
Of course. My last bf ALWAYS drove the car. He just liked to be in the driver's seat, in most ways. And he was GOOD at it. After the string of wimps I dated to get to him, this was a huge relief. Finally, I could relax and enjoy.
Of course. My last bf ALWAYS drove the car. He just liked to be in the driver's seat, in most ways. And he was GOOD at it. After the string of wimps I dated to get to him, this was a huge relief. Finally, I could relax and enjoy.
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Ive noticed on here and in my experience women like it, what is it that you like about it?

Is it being the helpless female? Is it being domianted in the bedroom and that translates to other parts of the relationship for you?

Did u come from a broken home and your searching for daddy?

Is it being the helpless female? Is it being domianted in the bedroom and that translates to other parts of the relationship for you?

Did u come from a broken home and your searching for daddy?

Um, I can say that I definitely do NOT want to be dominated in a relationship. I want to be with someone who has a mind of their own, but I have no interest in being with someone who sees me as their submissive.

so its a bedroom thing that u transfer to everything else?
Women enjoy being dominated its obviouse, but don't really expect an honest answer on hear. You'd be better off just asking your gf/wife why she likes being dominated... but then again she probably doesn't really know why.
In the bedroom, yes. Outside of it, hell no. I want a partner, not someone that dictates everything. I can compromise but no way can I be told what to do constantly.

I think a man should LEAD his woman. Its a different kind of domination in the bedroom. Outside of it you use mental domination to give your lady a calm peace of mind. Let her know sht is taken care of.

It's only a bedroom thing, giving up power and control of pleasure to another.

It doesn't transfer to everything else and doesn't need to - everything else is a partnership. A man who has power in the bedroom should be a happy camper.

The only people mental domination works on are those with not enough brain cells to think for themselves. I should know, I was with someone like that for 5 years. It is tiring and boring to make all the decisions, BTDT , and it must be the same to be dictated to constantly.

Believe it or not, some females are capable of thinking for themselves.
"Ladies why do you like being submissive and dominated in a relationship?"

Believe it or not, some females are capable of thinking for themselves.

Look a king needs his queen but there is still an order. I'm not trying to paint a picture where its like "Yes you may begin eating your breakfast now" but more like the man is THE MAN.
Men who think women want to be subjugated do so as justification for their inability to connect with their origin. The frustration over it leaves them feeling rejected.

"I couldn't climb back up in mommy so I'm going to be a brat to every replacement I seek. Wahhhh."

They know it isn't cool; they wouldn't like being treated that way by someone else. So they pretend its the natural order of things to act like a brat despite how obvious of a self serving view it is.
Women like being dominated? Yes please.... in the bedroom. Just throw me around and go all Conan on me. And if you demand to take me to that fancy french restaurant to wine and dine me, I would just swoon as well (it's because I'm a foodie).

On other aspects? You want your man cave in the family room? um. no. You want fast food for dinner all the time? um. no. You want to wear that god awful pleated khakis that make you look like you have woman hips? um. no. You want to leave the toilet seat up and splash it all around? um. hells no.

You see the distinction? We want dominance on certain aspects but not others.
I don't know if dominated is the right word but women need a man she can respect and depend on in order to be attracted. Even the independent need to know that they can depend on their man if need be.

Of course. My last bf ALWAYS drove the car. He just liked to be in the driver's seat, in most ways. And he was GOOD at it. After the string of wimps I dated to get to him, this was a huge relief. Finally, I could relax and enjoy.

If more women were willing to inspire these qualities in men then we would be willing to display but ballbusting misandrists just do not bring out that gentlemen instinct in a man. I am sorry but it is true. As much as I talk about not doing these things I never mind doing them for my wife because I know she appreciates it and is willing to give back.
I don't like being dominated per se, but I do like a man who doesn't rely on me to raise him like his mother and make his decisions for him. I like a man who can stand up for what he thinks and feels, who also takes his role as being my man seriously and uses it to support and protect me, as I use what I have to be honest and kind to him. I do like the idea of bedroom aggressive behaviour because there is something to knowing that you drive your partner wild (sadly my relationship does not reflect this and I have a man who is constantly looking for his mother and expecting his mother, very frustrating. I am constantly having to point out, "No, I am not going to freak out over things, whatever it is, just tell it to me straight, I am not going to scream and yell or sob and guilt trip like your mother does.") It gets very old and hard to respect someone who is so childlike at times.

Dominance can equal confidence but not if it crosses any sensible lines.

can you be more specific what did he do?

Just make all the decisions in the relationship?
Haha I find this thread to be funny because in my relationship I'm actually the dominant one, including when it comes to the bedroom. Well most of the time anyway, there are times when I don't want to be in charge and I let him take over, but for the most part I'm the one who calls the shots.

Just make all the decisions in the relationship?

No, but he loved doing the day-to-day "leg work" -- driving, being assertive at coffee shops and restaurants, always coming up with great ideas for things to do. He had this great sense for flow, and would steer us into very enjoyable directions all the time. Some of my friends said he was like a maestro -- he just knew how to orchestrate and make good things happen.

And the way he conducted in bed was a whole 'nother level of awesome.

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Lets delve into the world of the submissive woman I'm the compleeetttee opposite of submissive (very assertive, dominant personality apparently) so most of what I "know" comes from observing and talking to more submissive/passive friends and assumptions. Share more with me! What makes you submissive? Do you like being submissive? Why do you like it? Why don't you like you? What do your relationships with men look like?
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Okay, I’m an introvert, and very shy. As a general rule I find social situations intimidating although it’s gotten better as I’ve gotten older. All my “friends” in elementary school, were bullies. I played the role of slave/servant. One girl in the second grade treated me like a pet. Sit, shake, etc... It wasn’t voluntary, I didn’t ask for it, but I was eager and accepting of that role for years. It simply didn’t bother me; I didn’t even notice at first. It felt natural. I didn’t run from bullies. I coped by being the only one to validate them and it moved the target off my back. It wasn’t gender specific. There were boy bullies and girl bullies. From that, and my age at the time you’ll know it’s not sexual for me. Not some weird kink. It’s who I am, who I’ve been since I was a child. I don’t know what else to say about that.
I guess it’s cause of my home life as a child and my mother being abusive both verbally and physically if I did something wrong or said something In the wrong tone, especially if she was already mad and choosing to take it out on me. I guess its kinda like the cliche daddy issues except cause of my mom lol but, now I have the tendency to date and be attracted to men way older than me and since they’re older I guess it’s like they have seniority. Its also since I’m not that outgoing unless I’m drunk haha. But, it’s a lot of fun being controlled when it comes to the sexual side of a relationship. I guess it’s the type of person you are (introvert/extrovert) and how you grew up which determines that. The only downside is when you find a guy and he’s just as submissive as I don’t find being in charge fun.
I’ve always been very shy and timid, so I think that what makes me seem submissive. I guess it can be nice because some people tend to treat you extra nice, but it can feel a little degrading at the same time. Some people take advantage of the fact that you’re easy to push around. I don’t really talk to guys often, they intimidate me for the most part.
What makes me submissive? I don't know do I like it? Yes or I wouldn’t be submissive why do I like it? I don't know, I like what I like what is my relationship like? Like any other relationship. I like a guy that is masculine and decisive and smart. I like him to be in charge even when I challenge him.
Are you talking sexually or just everyday? Because I'm a dominant personality day to day, but I enjoy being submissive in bed. Being sub in bed for me feels like a vacation. I can switch off the part of my brain driven to be assertive and dominant for a while, and just enjoy bliss. I'm naturally a more assertive person, though, so I like that I'm submissive only for specific periods and in private. XD
I've never been submissive in my life, I'm always the dominant.
Its pretty natural for a woman to be submissive but it depends in what context you mean too
Well, not for me, so I was curious about what it was like lol I'm talking about personalities, submissive personalities and how they move through the world

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Not everyone is capable of being submissive. It is even possible that you are not really cut out for it. We all have different thresholds for what we can and can't do, but realizing we can't be submissive isn't the end of the world.

Great, so how do you know if you can be submissive or not?

First, let me say that the type of submissive I'm talking about here is a relationship submissive; someone who is subordinate in everyday things. A bedroom submissive or a kinky bottom is something entirely different. Anyone and I mean this, anyone can be a bottom for a short period of time. You can be submissive for weekends or set amounts of time. I'm not going to cover this form of submission in this article.

What I am going to cover is submission on a personality or character level. Submissives all over are going to agree or disagree with this, but as this is my newsletter, you are going to be subjected to my opinion. At the end of this article, I will invite you to share your own thoughts with me.

People develop specific personality traits, that then define if they can be submissive or not. There are a few, however, that don't lend them to being a vital part of submission and can, in fact, cause a lot of strife. If these can not be curbed it is likely you are not cut out to be submissive.

The personality traits I'm talking about are:

Selfishness is a very damaging trait to have when you are trying to be submissive. For the longest time, I used to tell myself that I wouldn't submit unless I got something in return. This got to the point that I didn't want to play unless I was getting an orgasm or something like that. I was being selfish and made my needs and desires more important than my partners.

Once I started seeing things as giving more I was actually rewarded more often. It's funny how life works out that way. I offered up more and more of myself; I submitted to his will and in return, when I least expected it, he rewarded me. It was so fulfilling and still is.

In all honesty I'm still working on the domineering behavior. I've said it before and it bears repeating again; I am not perfect. I submit because it fulfills a need in me. The behaviors I grew up with and the traits I picked up to survive then are not needed now and I'm constantly fighting to reverse them. My nagging behavior is one that Master is routing out of me for good. I still get the itch to be in control of somethings but Master is right there to set me straight. If you are constantly fighting for the control then you will never submit. Submit is a lot like surrender. Accept that your partner knows best for you and that they will care for you and your domineering behavior will begin to dissolve.

Going into my next point, being manipulative is right up there with domineering behavior. Forcing someone to do something they wouldn't do, or pushing so hard that they give in is not going to allow you to submit. I've seen some submissives say that they are just being persuasive and that their Dominant doesn't mind. I have no doubt that if I asked them they would say otherwise. Dominants do not want a submissive that tries to maintain control or bend their will. It is counter-productive to the power exchange that is the cornerstone of a D/s relationship.

Lastly, I'd like to talk about being bratty. I put an exclamation point up there because there is a caveat to this point. A number of submissives and Dominants alike say that being bratty is okay to a relationship. It's playful fun in other partnerships. I'm not against a little playful fun; but being bratty and being playful are completely different things. A brat is never welcome in a submissive. I consider bratty behavior to be childish attempts to manipulate the situation. I'm certain that you have seen people be bratty in a way that makes you shake their head and wonder why they are submissive or why the Dominant doesn't clock them one. It's just bad form and looks bad.

You will always be able to tell the difference between a brat and a playful sub. Always.

Knowing the traits that are detrimental to a submissive's relationship and herself can bring about the change that is necessary if submission is your goal. Let's face the truth; you can change who you are. You are the only person who can, so if submission really is what you want in life you can make the changes necessary.

If you aren't willing to work on these things and you enter into a D/s relationship you are being misled to a Dominant in your intentions. How can you submit if you are not going to make the changes necessary to be a submissive worthy of their charge?

Being aware of your non-submissive traits can also help a perspective partner aware of what they are in for. I was straight-forward with my Master that I had a lot of personal changes to go through in order to submit in the way I wanted to and that he wanted from me. Thankfully he said he was willing to work with me while I made the necessary changes.

You've made the first step if you can see these traits hindering your submissive attitude and causing strife for yourself and your partner. Next, you need to start working on changing yourself. This is not an easy process but it is possible if you wish it. Buy a few self-help books if you need it to help you improve your behavior and figure out what skills are needed to change your attitude.

You can also seek professional help or that of a mentor. Many times having someone else talk to you about your struggle can bring you closer to finding the person that is hiding in wait for you to shed those poor behaviors. It's likely this person is better for you anyhow.

If through all this you still can't shake those feelings of selfishness and manipulative behaviors you have just one admission left. You are not cut out to be submissive.

Finally, I've given you the thoughts to get you started and as you can see it's not a dead end. If you are willing to work at it, and it's something you really want; then submission is possible. Good things are never easy to acheive. Work hard at it and you will be rewarded.
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