Why Do I Feel Out of Control Around Food?

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Look, if you’ve ever found yourself standing in front of the fridge at midnight or polishing off a bag of chips thinking, “Why can’t I just stop?” — you’re not alone. Ever notice how trying to follow strict diet rules often makes things worse? Sound familiar?

What if I told you that feeling out of control around food isn’t about willpower or moral failure? It’s a tangled web of habits, emotions, and nervous system responses — and most diet plans completely miss the point.

First, let’s talk about the scarcity mindset with food. This is the “all or nothing” trap where you tell yourself things like, “I can’t have any sugar,” or “I’m not eating carbs ever again.” Here’s the deal: when you put food on a pedestal like it’s scarce or forbidden, your brain reacts by craving it even more.

This scarcity mindset is a big reason why restriction leads to bingeing. You follow ultra-strict rules about what you’re allowed to eat, and eventually, your brain rebels hard. It triggers what I call the “rebel feast” — where you eat everything you said you couldn’t, sometimes even more than usual.

Experts like Alana Kessler, MS RD from bewellbyak.com emphasize this cycle because it’s rooted deeply in how our brains handle deprivation. The more you deny yourself, the more you feel out of control.

Let me break it down: Rule-based diets are like setting a maze with walls you can’t cross. At first, you’re vigilant—following every rule. But life happens. Stress happens. And then one slip feels like the whole maze collapsed. You don’t just eat one cookie; you demolish the entire bakery aisle.

Following too many strict rules is the classic mistake because it ignores the real human behind the diet: someone with emotions, stressors, energy needs, and a nervous system that’s going to push back.

Seems straightforward when you read it, but living it? It’s like trying to walk a tightrope during an earthquake.

This is why I’ve seen clients completely blow their self-trust because the plan was too rigid. Their solution? Habit science — habitual small wins that weave smoothly into daily life without trauma or deprivation.

Here’s something no one tells you plainly enough: your eating habits are a reflection of your emotional state and how well your nervous system is regulated.

Stress, anxiety, boredom, loneliness — these aren’t just “feelings” you power through; they physically alter your brain chemistry, triggering cravings and impulsive eating. We often try to fight cravings with willpower, but willpower is a finite resource, not a superpower.

Think of your nervous system as your body’s control tower. When it’s calm, you have better decision-making power around food. When it’s in fight-or-flight mode, those decisions go out the window because your brain wants fast energy — hello, sugar and carbs!

One tool that helps is box breathing. It’s a simple technique — breathe in for 4 seconds, hold 4, breathe out 4, hold 4 — repeated a few times. This signals your nervous system to chill out, reduce cortisol (stress hormone), and regain control over cravings.

Many folks who think it’s “all in their head” are actually struggling with nervous system dysregulation. Fix that, and you’re well on your way to managing emotional eating.

Look, willpower is hugely overrated. Here’s the deal: you can’t rely on a muscle that gets tired after use, especially when your environment is loaded with triggers. Instead, design your environment to do the heavy lifting for you.

Want to feel in charge of your eating? Make the healthy choice the easy choice.

This isn’t some fad hack — it’s grounded in behavioral psychology. When the environment supports your habits, the need to summon willpower drops dramatically.

If you want to feel in charge of your eating, stop trying to overhaul everything at once. Instead, focus on building simple habits that stack over time. For example:

These micro-steps feel so small you can’t say no, but they trickle into bigger wins. This habit-based approach beats traditional dieting because it’s sustainable, kind to your nervous system, and realistic within real life’s chaos.

There’s a lot of buzz around GLP-1 medications recently. They help regulate appetite and blood sugar, which can be a powerful tool for some people struggling with cravings and metabolic issues. But remember: no pill replaces learning how to build habits and regulate your nervous system. Think of GLP-1s as a tool in your toolkit—not the entire toolbox.

Feeling out of control around food isn’t a sign you’re weak or flawed. It’s a sign you’ve been handed a broken system that ignores how your brain, body, and environment actually work. Companies like Alana Kessler, MS RD, are shifting conversation toward mindset and habits — and that’s where real change happens.

So tomorrow, don’t reach for another “rule book.” Instead, try one mini habit. Practice a fitnessdrum quick round of box breathing before your meal. Walk through your kitchen and remove one trigger food. Little by little, you take back control. That’s how you stop feeling out of control around food.

Remember: No shame, no fluff, just what actually works.