Why Do Guys Like Porn

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Why Do Guys Like Porn
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Clint Carter
Clint Carter is a reporter and editor with a magazine journalism degree from the University of Missouri.


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The Women's Health Guy Next Door explains the male obsession with X-rated clips.
Channel 53. That was where I found the porn when I was a kid. It was broadcast to my family's TV as a blur of fuzz and smeared color, but if you watched long enough—and trust me, I tested it—you'd eventually see a flash of flesh. If you were lucky, you saw a boob, or something even more explicit.
Hey, I was a boy, and I had a profound curiosity for what went on beneath blouses and skirts with limited ways to discover it. But that brings us to the question at hand: Why would I—or any guy, for that matter—remain interested in porn past his teens? Isn't real sex better? Isn't watching porn a little like reading Twilight fan fiction when you could be reading the actual book? Yeah, sure, the real thing is better. But the porn industry is thriving, so clearly people still value fantasy. Here's a little glimpse at why so many men are fascinated with porn:
It's safer than sex with strangers. This one only applies to single guys (hopefully), but it still holds true. Casual hookups can be complicated—for men and women—between the fear of STDs, hurt feelings, and awkward morning-after conversation. So if you're looking for sexual novelty, porn is a pretty safe alternative. Masturbating to porn is simple: You just look up your fantasy and do what comes natural. There's no performance anxiety, no fear of rejection, and no worries about who's going to call whom the next day. 
We're aroused by visual stimulation. There are some things men have a hard time understanding about women—like how you're always 10 degrees colder than we are. And similarly, this may be a thing that you find perplexing about men: We like to watch. I mean, we really like to watch. And not just porn—we like to watch during sex, too. That's half the reason we like changing positions: to take in the different views. And sometimes, in the moment, we wonder what our real-world sexcapade looks like from a third-person angle. With porn, our imagination can take a break. The cameraman does the work. (Fun fact: Women are aroused by visual stimulation , too.)
It allows us to live vicariously. Sex on a beach in the middle of the winter? Sure! Sex on the boss' desk, with no risk of being fired? Amen to that! Sex in a futuristic space shuttle, with four super-hot alien chicks? Um... it's getting a little odd, but let's give it shot! Regardless of the scenario, most of the guys in porn seem to know exactly what they're doing. We might not want to be like them in daily life, but still, we're pretty impressed. And occasionally, we like to zone out and pretend that's us getting it on in the middle of a restaurant. 
It lets us be selfish. We want to make you happy. The fact is, we love when you orgasm almost as much as we love it when we do. And obviously, that means we have to be totally engaged in the act—reading your body language, making sure not to peak too early, holding in any non-sexy bodily functions. Porn is a guilty pleasure that's as brainless as watching a sitcom (but, you know, with nudity). It's no surprise that both genders sometimes enjoy masturbation even more than sex , and porn just adds a little novelty and entertainment to the picture (even when it's wildly unrealistic). Obviously, we'd never want to be selfish in bed with you, so this gives us a free pass to just take and take without hurting our sexual reputation—or, more importantly, your opinion of us.
We like to strategize. You know what winning basketball teams do? They analyze game footage to gain valuable intel that they can't spot when adrenaline is running high. Sometimes they watch video of their own games, and sometimes they watch video of other teams. It helps them decide which plays they should be running more often and which tend to go nowhere. See where I'm going with this one? It's not like we're using porn as a template and copying everything they do, but it can definitely clue us in to positions we want to try or fantasies we want to share with you.
As a parting thought, let me emphasize that men (at least, most of us) see porn as a supplement to sex. It's not a replacement. Consider the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey . It's kinky sexual escapism, and it sold more than 100 million copies worldwide. But chances are it didn't become a stand-in for sex with your partner. The point is, ideas that start as fantasy can easily translate into their own storyline, and that storyline might well play out in your real-life bedroom. So if you're cool with it, most of us are totally down to watch porn with you. Because the more open we are about our fantasies, the better our sex lives will be.


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You may be wondering, Why do men watch porn? Are they addicted to porn stars or just want to watch internet porn because they think it’s pretty normal? How do relationships survive the negative effects that come with porn, and what are those negative effects? Has porn use affected your sexual relationship?
I know my ex-husband was always on the internet watching porn, and I never understood why. I mean, I was his wife. Why aren’t wives enough for men? I think the act of watching porn is not wrong, but if you keep it a secret from your wife, you know that you are not doing something right in your marriage. Porn watching can negatively affect your marriage .
If your sexual partner is watching porn all of the time, you may question your sexual performance in the bedroom. Why are sexual fantasies better than real-world sex? When men watch porn, it can cause them to have unrealistic expectations of what sex should be like. In real life, is porn watching healthy?
I believe it can be, but with married men, it often causes their partners anxiety because they are looking at women half their age, forgetting what their age is in reality. Let’s look at whether porn watching is healthy or not!
Some men may just want to learn something new and exciting. It may have nothing to do with you; instead, they are trying to improve the sex life the two of you share!
Like wrestling, porn often tells a silly little story that men find entertaining. He may want to watch the dumb storylines because they are dumb. It’s entertaining to see what other people think is entertaining in this world!
Not all men are this way, but some are!
If your man does not think you are enough in the bedroom, he may be looking elsewhere for fulfillment. You may need to evaluate things to determine what is wrong before you do anything else.
Some guys just want to get off faster, and porn helps with that. It may make you feel offended, but it really has nothing to do with you. It’s a physical thing.
Many men are just curious by nature and want to know how other people have sex. What moves do they have? What moves could I adopt in the bedroom? Should I ask my girl if we could try this? Those are just a few of the questions that your man may be thinking.
By watching other men have sex, they learn a thing or two about their bodies.
If you think your sex drives are out of whack, you may need to see a doctor!
If your man knows that this ticks you off, he could be doing it because of that very reason. Some guys just want to heat things up and make you mad because they love the drama that fighting brings to a relationship.
If they’ve caught you doing it, it could be a thing of revenge!
It is true that some men watch porn because they are bored and want to watch something entertaining. Porn stories are often silly in nature but entertaining enough to keep a guy’s attention.
Some men like to be challenged when it comes to sex.
They may believe porn is like a unicorn – it’s something magical that can teach them new things. They think there are secrets that they just don’t know but want to learn. If you confront your man for watching some porn , he may say that he is doing research on your love life. You’ll have to think of how you want to respond to this if he says it.
Since many women find porn to be taboo, many men just want to do it because it is off-limits!
Many men know that watching a little porn is off-limits, according to their women. They don’t like being controlled or told what they can or cannot do. They’d rather sneak around behind your back than be controlled by you.
Men are curious creatures by nature and just want to know what others are like.
If you are married and your man is watching porn in secret, you may feel a bit betrayed. However, did you ever think of acting out his sexual fantasy? What if you enjoy acting out his favorite sexual fantasy? Did you ever think that watching pornography could be healthy and give you pleasure? You might find that if you join in, you will have more intimacy with your man.
Understanding why your man is looking at pornography can help your relationship. It might actually be healthy for you to watch porn together. After all, some men watch porn for pleasure or because they are not getting enough sexual intimacy at home with their sexual partners. Some relationships grow because of porn. It may be hard to believe, but it’s true!
A man often watches porn because he feels empty in his current sex life. However, according to Psychology Today , some men watch porn, and it has nothing to do with how they feel about sex or women. They just want something to aid them during masturbation. The article explains that many men watch porn because they feel inadequate in their current sex life.
So, what’s a girl to do if she catches her man watching porn?
If your man watches porn, you may feel betrayed and upset. You may question your own sexuality! Try to remember that most fights have two people involved! We all play our parts in relationships. One-sided relationships just don’t work. You must communicate and listen to the needs of your partner. Of course, first, you need to discover them.
Learn your partner’s love language to determine how to best communicate with him. The love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, quality time together, and acts of service. Once you learn how to communicate with your partner, you’ll know how to best approach the subject of pornography. Figure out how he listens best.
Don’t just fly off the handle mad because he will not listen to you. You need to express your concerns in a real way and let him know that you want to understand his need for watching porn. Be patient and understanding so that your partner hears what you are feeling – not just what you are saying to him.
This may sound crazy, but if you have confronted your man about porn and he hasn’t stopped despite your objections, you might consider buying your own porn magazines or movies. Let him know that if he feels like it’s okay to watch porn, you don’t see why you cannot also do this. This will drive him crazy because he knows you are looking, too!
He won’t want you to watch porn and see naked men. He will not think that is okay in your relationship. He will want the only naked person you see to be him! I suggest this tip because it did work for me with my ex ! I thought if he can do it, so can I! I’m allowed to do what I want as an adult! He was surely caught off guard by this action!
Of course, I didn’t really watch porn or look at magazines because I did not feel the need to, but I did let him know what I had purchased, and he was floored. He wanted to know what that meant for our relationship and why I felt the need to do that. I explained that if he could do it, so could I. He quickly got rid of all his porn so that I would as well.
If your man watches porn, you can always act like you are interested in it, as well. You can show interest in porn to learn more about why he feels that he needs this in your sex life. If you don’t feel like it’s a healthy thing for your relationship, you can always talk it out with him. However, reverse psychology can work in your favor.
Just advise him that you don’t think there is anything wrong with watching porn. Explain that you would like to introduce this into your sex life. Maybe he will share his interests with you and explain why he likes watching porn so much. This could help you determine his reasons for doing this – despite being in a relationship. 
I do think honesty is the best policy. Relationships can survive more than this! This is just one tactic you could try if your man watches porn all of the time. It’s better than flying off the handle and having him do this activity behind your back because of your anger. It’s better to find a calmer way to approach this difficult subject!
For men, this is usually not a popular option. They don’t want to feel like crap because they enjoy watching a little porn and participating in masturbation at the same time. Sex is a complicated subject, or at least it can be. Everyone wants different things when it comes to sex. That’s why involving a third party can be helpful.
Someone outside of your relationship can help examine your sex life to determine if you are doing the right things or not. Of course, they won’t come right out and tell you if you are doing something bad or not, but they will help you come to conclusions that you may not have otherwise reached if you hadn’t seen a counselor.
A trained and qualified counselor can help you with sex. They can listen to what you both say about the subject to help best determine what your needs are. They often have the tools, training, and homework that can be very beneficial to you and your partner. Consider seeing a sex therapist if you think he or she could help in that overall area.
When you confront or approach your man for the first time about porn, watch yourself. You don’t want him to feel lousy for being himself around you. You certainly don’t want him to hide things from you. I know that if you approach a guy with bad intentions in mind, he is likely to just sneak around behind your back even more than he does.
I approached my ex the wrong way when I caught him watching some porn. I didn’t know what to do, so I got mad and he just continued to do it – behind my back. That made me feel even worse because now he was hiding things from me. It’s better to have a partner do something you don’t like and be honest about it than to hide behind your back!
If you think your sex life is not spicy enough for your partner, you might just want to heat things up in the bedroom. There’s no reason you can’t do a little role-playing or do something creative to make him love sex with you the most. If he doesn’t seem interested in having sex with you , there may be problems in your relationship.
Approach relationship problems like you would approach any other problems. Find out what is causing the issues. Why does he feel the need to look for sexual fulfillment outside of your relationship? Why aren’t you enough? Determine the answers to those questions in order to find the solutions to your problems. This will help your relationship. 
Why do you think watching porn is popular with men? Do you think porn watching is acceptable? Why do you think men watch porn? Have you watched porn in the past? We’d love to hear about your porn-watching experiences! Please share your real-world experiences with porn use! Leave a comment!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.
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For my May column, I attempted to abstain from all sex for a month, which had me thinking about (and often watching) porn. So I figured now might be a good time to explain guys' relationship to the weird world of recorded, artificial sex, which is a sort of cherished one. (Don't worry—next month I'll get back to more wholesome topics.) I wish I could write a column about how I don't care for pornography and how it has no effect on me, but I'd just get distracted and start googling "boob sex boss dominatrix." The fact is, I look at porn, and if the billions of dollars Americans spend on it each year are any indication, your boyfriend probably does too. My gal pals tell me this offends them more than razor stubble in the sink and dirty socks combined. They find porn a little lame and unarousing at best, and disgusting, exploitative and potentially harmful to the relationship at worst. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me clear a few things up:
Women's biggest question when it comes to their guy's porn consumption: Does he want me to do that? Simple answer: No. As my banker friend Faisal* puts it, "I wouldn't want my girlfriend to act like that in bed. It's not how I like to think of someone I love." Just as you dream about a Brontë hero's brutishness but in real life want a guy who won't use the Brillo pad on the nonstick pan, men like to fantasize about threesomes with strippers but date real women. That said, there's a reason Jenna Jameson's How to Make Love Like a Porn Star is a best-seller. As my friend Dave says: "It gives me ideas for things that I might ask my girlfriend if she'd want to try."
The second question women ask me about porn: If he's spent much of his adult life gawking at lithe, top-heavy, super-orgasmic bombshells, how can I compete? You shouldn't. We know we're looking at actors whose tanning, depilating and cosmetic surgery regimens are extreme. When I'm with a woman, I want to touch her skin, look in her eyes and, yes, even feel some hair. No one wants to be with a faker, and at some point, all that stuff is faking.
Confession: I find most pornography foul and unsupportable, but I make an exception for the post-it-yourself youporn.com variety, which offers me a regular dose of harmless voyeurism, courtesy of exhibitionists. But the women I d
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