Whore Kink
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Whore Kink
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Up until last year, my husband and I led a fairly ho-hum existence in regards to sex and kink. It wasn’t until I accidentally found myself reading an incredibly smutty book that I realized what I was reading wasn’t gross; it was fascinating and I wanted to try everything .
It was a normal Wednesday evening when I brought the book up to my bedroom, where I nervously asked my husband to read a particularly descriptive passage about anal sex and the use of anal beads. Imagine my surprise when he wasn’t disgusted! “So, this is something — we could try? Someday? Maybe?” I said. He laughed and said “ Sure! As long as you’re comfortable with it!” By the end of the week, I was the proud owner of a very pretty butt plug, some heavy-duty lube and my husband was in possession of my butt-sex virginity.
Here’s what I’ve figured out about getting your kink on with a lover: Unless you meet on a fetish forum or get real drunk with each other, your secret desires to be spanked, whacked, choked, and manhandled will probably go unspoken. Imagine turning to your lover right now and saying, “Tonight I would like you to slap my tits until they bruise.”
What would happen? Would someone’s head explode? Would you feel judged? Would your lover even know what tit slapping was? IT’S SUCH A RISK! So how does a happy and healthy sexually active couple go about figuring out the hard and soft limits of their sexuality? If you lead a fairly vanilla life chances are you’re completely unaware to just how much pleasure there is to be had out there. But how do you go about approaching the subject?
Yes, porn is getting a bad rap lately, and it should — I’ve watched porn destroy many a relationship because it was either kept secret or abused to the point where the lines between reality and porn blur into a muddled mess of pain and confusion for everyone involved.
But I’ve learned that porn, when viewed with my husband, can actually be wonderfully beneficial to both of us. It helps that we’re both open-minded in regards to sex but we still find it easier to find new positions and ideas from porn than trying to describe what we think we’d like.
Here are some of our favorite pornographic pleasures:
1. Girl-on girl. Girls are soft, girls are pretty, girls are generally less aggressive than men are, and let’s be honest — girls know what girls like because girls have the same parts as other girls. My husband enjoys watching two girls together because he is guy; I enjoy watching because I have a pretty strong desire to make out with a girl one day.
2. Tit-slapping. I had heard of it, but never considered it until I watched it and my brain and body made the connection that “Hey, I think I’d like that.” My husband was ecstatic as it was something he had always wanted to try but was too shy to ask about. What is tit-slapping? It’s exactly what it sounds like: basically having your boobs spanked.
3. Girl/guy bondage. Preferably the guy tying up the girl. I love being submissive to my husband, so seeing other women being submissive to their lovers is a turn-on for both of us. I especially love elaborate rope ties, as it is more of a focused art form rather than just a hasty, easy-to-break-free-from handkerchief to a headboard.
4. Super-oily, naked massages. If there were one scene I would never opt out of, it would be having big warm hands all over my oiled and naked body. I don’t even care about getting knots out; I just want strong hands all over me. It’s a hard one to recreate in the bedroom because cleaning that amount of oil out of or off of anything would ruin it for me.
5. Sensual, slooooow kissing. Kissing seems so basic and boring, I mean, most of us have been doing it since we were horny teenagers. But a good kiss, one that goes slow, where you’re breathing in another person? Those are the kinds of kisses that get us all hot and bothered. Anyone can slam their body parts together but to kiss like you mean it requires a level of passion and intimacy that can’t be found with just anyone.
Now that you know what we’re into (no judgment!), here are a few helpful suggestions that have worked for us to make watching porn less awkward and more amazing:
I realize guys are audio and visual but I am visual only. Corny dialogue and music only distract me from what is really going on — plus it’s easier for my husband to tell what I’m really into when everything is quiet. I have a bad habit of doing terrible voice-overs if I don’t like what we’re watching. If I’m quiet, it’s usually a good indication that I’m interested in what’s going on.
While watching, our discussions usually involve simple statements like “Please never do that to me” or “I wouldn’t hate it if you tried that on me.” We both laugh at the outlandish positions — what is it with men going down on women who just happen to be doing a headstand? NOPE — and hum in agreement on positions we know we like.
It’s also important to go into more detail if there was something one of us would like to try: When would you want to try it? Where would you want it to happen? What toys or preparation would you need to complete before it could happen? While we’re at it, now is also a good time to discuss your safe words!
There is A LOT of porn out there, and it is categorized down to the tiniest detail. If we don’t both enjoy what we’re watching, we change the video! If one of us really likes a particular scene but the other is slightly horrified? We’ll have a discussion about what it is they like about the scene, then narrow down our searches to even more specific details.
We both agree quality is key — there’s no reason for us to watch terribly lit porn and shoddy camera work — which narrows down our choices immensely. Same goes for costuming, who really does the dishes in a tiny skirt, high heels and no underpants? We prefer our porn to be *slightly* realistic.
There is an entire world to explore on the other side of your safe search filter, when explored honestly and with healthy curiosity in mind — it can open up a whole new world to couples who believe their sex lives to be dead in the water.
Even if you don’t end up living out a real life porn scene, you’ll at least have the fodder for a spirited discussion on what each of you is into (which may very well lead to a horizontal display in the bedroom).
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January 26, 2020 by kevinwilkerson 2 Comments
A romantic vacation can be a great way to recharge your relationship. If you’re looking for an even hotter vacation, in the vein of“50 Shades of Grey,” here are five great places for your next vacation. These locations offer couples a chance to stay, play, decompress, and enjoy vacation sex. Just make sure to get your partner’s consent before you plan one of these sensual getaways.
Monterey Stay and Play is a unique BDSM hotel that offers a bed and breakfast atmosphere. Luxurious accommodations await, queen-size beds with fine linens and down comforters, a soaking tub complete with robes and slippers, a kitchenette and sitting area, TV, DVD player, and Wifi. It all seems fairly mundane until you realize that this B&B caters to the BDSM community. The space is private and discreet, secluded from the main house and rented out to one party at a time.
The area includes an assortment of bondage furniture, including a formal massage table and inescapable metal cage. You will also find a spanking bench, a catalog of fetish videos, and a large inventory of BDSM toys to explore your fantasies.
You will also be close enough to the ocean to take a drive down the coast to break up the tension. You can enjoy breakfast in the morning before you check out, if you so desire. Additionally there are a number of restaurants close by, but you can also request a gourmet dinner to just stay in and enjoy your stay.
Not everyone can build a jail or dungeon in their home, so the alternative is to stay at the Edge Jail & Dungeon. Your rental includes a 1000-square foot play space for private and kinky play. It’s set up like a real jail, complete with an intake room, interrogation room, a warden’s desk, and individual cells, as well as showers, cots, metal restraints and more.
The dungeon space includes a standing cage, spanking bench, small cage, and puppy cage. You will also find a large collection of gear and equipment for BDSM play, or you can bring your own. The warden’s room includes a microwave and fridge, so you can bring your own food for your stay. There is a big screen TV in the dungeon with a large collection of BDSM videos on hand. Overall, an ideal experience if you’ve wanted to explore jail or dungeon play with your partner.
LA Stay and Play is a unique loft in the artistic district of Los Angeles, minutes from Little Tokyo. It is conveniently located near the freeway, and less than an hour’s drive to the beach. The loft is private and discreet, designed to allow couples to explore their BDSM fantasies in luxurious accommodations that include 2 queen size beds, a full kitchen facility with refrigerator, microwave, coffee maker, and convection oven, as well as a full bathroom, central heating and air, and big screen TV with DVD player.
The play area includes six different environments to explore every fantasy you could imagine. You can move between the Scarlett Boudoir, the Warehouse, The White Room, The Gilded Parlor, The Interrogation Station, or the Bunker, depending on your mood and inclinations. The furniture and equipment has been made by renowned and respected manufacturers in the BDSM world, and is made available for your usage. However, you do need to bring personal SM toys. The facility is generally rented out as a vacation residence, but parties can be held if you get written consent in advance and have coordinated in accordance with their usage policies.
Dungeon West is a popular Los Angeles rental with 1,400 square feet of space for play and rest. It includes a waiting and lobby area, a play area, and a comfortable domestic setting. The queen-sized, four-poster canopy bed has a 10” memory foam mattress, offering all the comforts of an upscale hotel. Your sub can sleep with you in bed, or in a six-foot padded cage. The bathroom has a standing glass shower with all the amenities yo
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