Whore Humiliation
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The Leather Mermaid
Musings of a slave
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For years, I couldn’t quite wrap my brain around the distinction between these two ideas. I’d read something someone had written about it and think, “Yeah, I think that kind of makes sense. Sort of. Except…well, no. They still seem like the same thing!” It’s not that I didn’t believe there was a difference, but I couldn’t figure out what it was, and they just kept blending together for me.
And I thought they were both a hard limit. Because there are a few things that make me feel bad enough emotionally that I need to draw a line. So I referred to them both as a hard limit, because I was lumping them together.
Until one day, the distinction finally hit me in a way that made sense to me – and I actually realized that degradation is a HUGE fetish of mine. Up until that point, I’d said that sexual objectification was a big fetish, but I’ve come to realize that that is simply a subset of degradation play for me. And that, in fact, degradation is probably my primary fetish. I’m only a moderate physical masochist, but I am a heavy degradation bottom.
To quickly define how I use the terms, degradation is about being treated as less than human or with less than customary human dignity. Under this definition, acts can fairly objectively be labeled as degrading or not. But humiliation is very subjective. It’s based on how something makes you feel. If it makes you feel shameful or bad about yourself, then it’s humiliating.
Degrading acts are humiliating for some. And if humiliation is their kink, then they may still be into degradation! But for me, most degradation doesn’t make me feel humiliated – it just makes me feel hot. So I LOVE many acts of degradation.
I absolutely love all of those things. They will absolutely make me gush.
But I really, really don’t like feeling humiliated. I spent so much of my life struggling with self-esteem. I pretty much lived in a skin that felt perpetually humiliated – ashamed of who I was, a fat woman who didn’t deserve love or affection. And that’s how humiliation makes me feel – unworthy. I know for some, humiliation is a way to face those demons. For me, when I’ve even so much as played around the edges of it, it just sent me into a spiral. So humiliation is very much a hard limit.
And that is how I parsed out the difference between degradation and humiliation in a way that makes sense to me. Of course, I’ve heard that some use these terms in the exact opposite fashion! Which is why with this sort of play in particular, good communication is so extraordinarily important. It can be easy to go from “fun” to “land mine” very quickly if everyone involved doesn’t have a good idea of how each party is defining these terms.
The keys to my surrender October 7, 2018 In "CNC"
Being objectified vs. being devalued June 13, 2017 In "Degradation/Objectification"
https://vk.com/video-190310948_456239851
https://theleathermermaid.wordpress.com/2017/06/04/degradation-vs-humiliation/
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Degradation vs. humiliation | The Leather Mermaid
Whore Humiliation
