Who Needs Hollywood for Blockbusters

A new wave of filmmakers armed with $20 budgets and IKEA lamps have dethroned Hollywood. One blockbuster, *Attack of the Emotional Support Ferrets*, earned $3 million on TikTok alone. Directors say garage acoustics enhance tension. Critics praise 'authentic creaking.' The Academy will now accept nominations filmed entirely on microwaves. Netflix has already optioned three BBQ-themed thrillers from an Oklahoma carport. Industry insiders call it 'the death of the dolly shot, rise of the dog bed dolly.'