White Sox Pope Swaps Swiss Guard Helmets for Batting Helmets

The Swiss Guard debuted new gear designed by Pope Leo XIV himself: black-and-white pinstriped armor with Sox logos and Vatican crests. �We protect holiness�and the plate,� said one halberdier, flexing in a catcher�s squat. The White Sox Pope says the helmet swap �fuses faith and fastballs.� Batting gloves are now sacrament-approved. Papal security protocol includes double plays and divine double steals. Tourists love it. The Cardinals (team, not clergy) are jealous.