White Men With Big Cocks
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White Men With Big Cocks
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Jennette McCurdy
Chanté Adams Did 'as Much Research as Possible' for 'A League of Their Own'
Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Jennette McCurdy
Chanté Adams Did 'as Much Research as Possible' for 'A League of Their Own'
We're not size queens or anything but the HBO comedy Hung —about a man (Thomas Jane) with a large penis—premieres in June, and it got us thinking about big penises, the ultimate status symbol for men*. After the jump, a list of famous ones.
1.) Rasputin** The Russian mystic's disembodied penis is on display at the Russian museum of erotica in Saint Petersburg, in a tall jar, measuring 11 inches—flaccid.
2.) Liam Neeson In her autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty , Janice Dickinson wrote of her ex-boyfriend Liam Neeson, saying he had "the biggest penis of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out."
3.) Jay-Z Accounts from several different groupies say that Jigga is well endowed, "The biggest dick you will ever see in your life, but boring. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun."
Summer skincare Their Art Deco sugar scrub sloughs off dead skin, and solid body butters, like the grapefruit and May Chang bar with shea butter, smooth everything out.
4.) John Holmes Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement. His manager claimed he was 13.5 inches, but Holmes' first wife said he measured it in front of her, before he started doing adult films, and it was 10 inches.
5.) Vincent Gallo Have you ever seen Brown Bunny ? (Link NSFW)
This rumor about how large his dick was has been around for a while, and at his Friars Club memorial in 2002, his friends joked about his size.
7.) Wilt Chamberlain His nickname was "Big Dipper." He claims to have gotten a lot of use out of it.
8.) Tommy Lee Thanks to the sex tape with then-wife Pamela Anderson, everyone has seen Tommy's peen . It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. (Link NSFW)
9.) Frank Sinatra Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock."
10.) Alexis Arquette Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. (Link NSFW)
10.) President Johnson "He was a lifelong exhibitionist who in college had dubbed his penis ‘ Jumbo .'"
11.) Errol Flynn He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano . A classical pianist!
12.) James Woods That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.
13.) Colin Farrell It looks like a baby's arm . (Link NSFW)
Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.
15.) Anthony Keides The girls on Metal Sludge —a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous."
16.) Tony Kanal The girls on Metal Sludge also say that the No Doubt bassist—who is Gwen Stefani's ex—measures about 10 inches.
17.) Tony Danza He's uncut and long. (Link NSFW)
18.) Ray J Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? (Link NSFW)
19.) Dan Rather The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent."
20.) Simon Rex It's no wonder why he used to do porno.
*It is the personal opinion of the writer that big penises hurt. **This list is not compiled by size order.
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Meet Micha (or should I say meat?). He is 45 years old, lives in Berlin and is extremely well hung .
But he wasn’t always enormously endowed, a few years ago Micha underwent an irreversible penis enlargement .
His penis now measures a whopping 9 inches in length and 3.5 inches across, which for us sods still using the metric system is nearly 23cm long and 9cm wide. Aka: fucking enormous.
“Whether it weighs 7.5 pounds of 9.5 pounds, I can’t say right now,” he says.
“I just know that my kitchen scale, which shows up to 6.6 pounds, hasn’t been enough for a while.”
Remind me never to borrow your scales for baking , Micha.
Concerns about standards of food preparation aside, Micha is now the the subject of a new documentary from Vice called, wait for it, Monster Meat. Because his giant appendage really does just need to be seen to be believed.
The documentary is both fascinating and actually quite moving. Because behind his giant bulge, Micha is just a shy guy looking for love and self-acceptance .
“I didn’t have my penis enlarged because it makes me feel more beautiful,” he tells the camera, “but rather because it makes me feel better.”
The film explores the underground world of penis enlargement, dangerous procedures, extreme implants and the biggest question of all… Does size really matter?
“If a woman gets a breast enlargement, nobody says anything about it. If a man does something very similar to his body, it’s worth making a whole documentary about,” he says.
“People’s reactions are really different. I definitely get looks.”
Micha also confides that it can be difficult to tell if his partners really love him or just his giant dick.
“There’s always that danger also in a relationship. But I think if you take the time to get to know the other person, then I can tell what I mean to him. Whether he really loves me or just part of me. And then I make a decision, which may be against the partner.”
You can watch the whole thing here. It’s NSFW, but you knew that already (the post continues after the video).
Now, we didn’t include this originally, but by very popular demand, we’ve included an image of Micha naked below (via VICE ).
As for what it looks like from the front, Micha says, “I’ve been told that my penis looks like an ass or a mouth from the front.” How about that?
And to answer the one question that everyone keeps bombarding us with:
How does the penis affect Micha’s sex life? Apparently, “after you reach a certain size, you can’t do certain things any more. At least not with everyone and not without some foreplay. But there are other things you can do with it. You just have to free yourself from established roles and hardened ideas about sex and be ready to play.”
It turns out that there are a few unexpected options: “Of course you can penetrate my foreskin. A lot of guys have offered to do that. But I don’t get a lot out of that sexually.”
As for whether there are any drawback, Micha says his life is fairly ordinary, but “it isn’t as easy as buying a new pair of pants.”
And while we’re talking all things wang… Here are some things tat accidentally look like penises (you’re welcome):
Well hung, indeed. But whatever one’s size, health is also important. More men shoukd use a superior penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) to help fight penis odor, dry/flaky skin, loss of sensation, etc.
Or you could just shower daily and stay off certain drugs which will affect the sensation...
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“Size matters” at this special speed dating event for well-endowed men and the women who love them. The New York Post went inside Hung Night — where the minimum penis size is 7 inches.
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You don't know RJ Berger just yet, but give it time, you will. A total nerd, a complete dweeb and you guessed it, an absolute dork, RJ is a high school student stuck firmly in the lower level of the social hierarchy. But he does have one thing going for him: a giant penis. (Yes, we meant to write that.) And after everyone finds out this fun fact, his life is changed forever. Like another RJ before him ( Ron Jeremy ), he uses his colossal crank to turn his life around in MTV's upcoming new series, " The Hard Times Of RJ Berger " (premieres June 6 at 11/10c).
So ... in honor of RJ and his giant member, we present a list of Hollywood's seven biggest boners. Enjoy!
You may know him as an accomplished actor of stage and screen, but the women who have shared a bed with Liam Neeson know him as an accomplished actor of stage and screen with a huge wiener. According to former fling Janice Dick inson , Neeson had "the biggest penis of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out." Good to know, Dick.
Some of Hollywood's largest wangs are also some of its most mysterious. That's because a large dong reputation is often rooted in rumor and hearsay. Not so with Ewan McGregor, who's flashed his bits in as many as three films so that just about everyone knows he's packing a light saber in his underwear.
Like McGregor, Colin Farrell hasn't been shy about whipping out his wang for the camera. But unlike McGregor, Farrell's penis keeps getting left on the cutting room floor. First there was his nude scene in the 2004 film "A Home at the End of the World," which was reportedly cut because it excited female viewers too much during test screenings. Later that same year the camera captured his dong for "Alexander," but again, the scene was deleted. It was a decision that Farrell said made sense : "It’s a beautiful, gentle moment, and a f**king large c**k with huge b**ls is just f**king jarring.”
Willem Dafoe is widely rumored to be the owner of Hollywood's largest package. And while shooting his latest film, "Antichrist," director Lars Von Trier found out for himself. The film called for Dafoe to hack off his own member, but when it came time to shoot the scene, Von Trier decided to use a dick double. Not because he wanted to keep ladies from getting too excited, but because Defoe's penis is so large "everybody got very confused when they saw it."
The evidence that James Woods has huge wood is slim, but it's a rumor that's so well known in Hollywood that it's taken as the undisputed truth. Plus, Woods has been known to often joke about the size of his member. His best was a response to a rumor that a former lover super-glued his penis to his leg. "Well, actually, it was to my ankle," he said .
It has been said that Jared Leto has "Hollywood's biggest" baguette. Corroboration of that rumor comes from someone who would know. Porn star Corina Taylor , who once dated Leto, has said , "I’ve been a porn actress for three years, and Jared was the most I ever had to work with. There’s definitely a second career available for him if he ever runs out of mainstream work."
He may be best known for his white linen suits and well-manicured stubble, but Don Johnson's, well, johnson might be his most prized asset. According to the book "Penis Size and Enlargement," the "Miami Vice" star is hung like a speedboat. And a website with the authoritative name "Bulge Report" says that Johnson is sporting the penis of a porn king, which might actually be a line of work he's moving into considering the name of his next film, " A Good Old Fashioned Orgy ."
Milton Berle may be dead, but the legend of Hollywood's most famous dong lives on. Over the course of his career, the late actor became as well known for his prodigious penis as he was for his comedy. Berle's wang was so large that comedian Phil Silvers once snuck a peek while taking a leak and said, "You'd better feed that thing, or it's liable to turn on you!" Even after Uncle Milte's 2002 passing, people were talking about his member. During a memorial service, a comedian friend of Berle's announced, "On May 1 and May 2, his penis will be buried."
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