White Men Fucking Black Women

White Men Fucking Black Women

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Smart black women have come to grips with reality.
An elementary understanding of the law of supply and demand tells you there simply aren’t enough black men for every woman, good or bad. And, the handful of “good” brothers don’t exclusively date black. Despite the number of us clinging to this one-sided fight for black love, others see the light and have started dating white…red, brown, yellow, etc. Tired of watching their girlfriends blindly walk past Banker Bob (yes, middle class white men are the segment of their population marrying black women) to compete with countless other educated, attractive women for the attention of some haughty, Audi A5-driving, Howard-bred corporate law attorney who only likes light-skinned girls, rain-beau daters are spreading the word.
The focus merely appears to be placed on white men for two reasons: It’s most taboo and white men and black women statistically date outside of their races least. So, it stands out when they date out—especially each other. Of course a history of slavery, rape and abuse are reasons for a subconscious sour taste but, in 2011, the landscape is much different. Much like black men looked past the lynching, disfigurement and deaths of young boys like Emmett Till for flirting with white women, many black women have found the capacity to look beyond past (and some present) ignorance. There is nothing taboo about dating anyone of any race. All that matters is that he is a man of strong character who you can see yourself boning.
For black men who want to have their cake and eat it too, this form of shared enlightenment translates as obsession when it’s really quite the opposite considering an overwhelming majority of black women prefer black men. Equal-opportunity dating means women are no longer reliant on the affection of a relatively small pool of men and, with increased options, higher standards are easier to maintain.
In no way are black women the slightest bit obsessed with white men. Some are just focused on enjoying the goodness that can be found in all races.
LaShaun Williams is a lifestyle and relationship columnist, blogger and social critic. Her work has been featured on popular urban sites, such as The Grio and AOL Black Voices. She has made appearances on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and Santita Jackson Show. Williams is also the voice behind Politically Unapologetic , a blog where she unabashedly discusses culture, life and love. Follow @itsmelashaun on Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook .
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Ketanji Brown-Jackson and her husband, Patrick Jackson, share a tender moment during her Senate confirmation hearing.
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4/1/22

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Two of the most powerful positions in the United States government will soon be held — for the first time — by black women: Kamala Harris and Ketanji Brown-Jackson. Harris, as we all know, is the vice president of the United States and Brown-Jackson could soon become a Supreme Court justice.
But Harris and Brown-Jackson also share a personal attribute that is equally noteworthy: Each has a white husband.
This fact is significant. The effects of racism have left well-educated black women with a paucity of black male partners: According to Brookings Institute data, black men are less likely than black women to have completed high school and 50 percent less likely to have attained a four-year college degree . Yet despite the shortage of suitable black partners, black women have also been the least likely of any minority group to marry outside of their race, according to data from the Pew Research Center.
Rather than partner with men of other races, many heterosexual black women either don’t marry or marry black men with whom they are not especially well matched . And these mismatched relationships contribute to African Americans having the highest divorce rate of any racial group (in fact, black women are the only demographic to have a higher divorce rate than marriage rate).
A bit more than a decade ago I published a book, “ Is Marriage for White People? ” that examined the decline in marriage across American society and especially among African-Americans, and focused in particular on the predicament of black women. The book raises the possibility that black women — like Harris and Brown-Jackson — would do well to open themselves to partnering with men who are not black. After all, black men appear to have no problem marrying out: That same Pew report revealed they are twice as likely as black women to have a non-black spouse.
My book generated considerable controversy and exposed fissures within black America. While younger people appeared more open to interracial relationships, a black woman old enough to be my mother made a point of telling me that I was “a disgrace to my race.”
But the most significant fissure was between black men and women. While some black women were made uncomfortable by the book, and the way it put them in the spotlight, many others embraced its message of empowerment. That was a message that not all black men wanted to hear. At one of my book talks in Washington DC, I worried a fight would break out between a young black woman who asserted her right to choose whatever type of man she wanted and an older black man who condemned such sentiments as betraying the race.
Other critics, including some black women, contended that white racism precluded black women from finding non-black partners. And this convinced many black women that they cannot (or should not) partner with a non-black man, even if the alternative was remaining unpartnered or in a bad relationship. As a result, many black women feel that they should “marry down” before they “marry out.”
I explained in the book why black women should not be pressured to sacrifice their own chances for happiness out of some misplaced loyalty to black men. Nor should black women feel beholden to black men under the guise of advancing the race. If the price of racial solidarity is a bad intimate relationship, then the cost is too high. Black women should not be held hostage to the struggles of black men.
True, race can provide a basis of compatibility, but race itself cannot solely sustain a relationship. And there are many bases of compatibility other than race. Black women’s increased rate of interracial marriage — from a mere three percent in 1980 to 12 percent in 2017, according to the Pew Research Center — also reflects their increasing autonomy to choose partners that best serve them. They should not have to apologize or feel guilty for doing so.
There has been little discussion in the media or culture about the white partners of prominent black women like Harris or Brown-Jackson and I hope this reflects the increasing social acceptance of such unions. If so, then black women will be able to enjoy the relationship freedom they deserve.
Ralph Richard Banks is the Jackson Eli Reynolds Professor of Law at Stanford Law School and Co-Founder & Faculty Director of the Stanford Center for Racial Justice .

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