White Girl Fetish

White Girl Fetish

https://www.tiktok.com/@halpal___/video/6808598927676394758

https://twitter.com/LilBabyOG_/status/1247589686983491591?s=20

https://twitter.com/GoodeisSXE/status/1247542042785271809?s=20

https://twitter.com/livmanraksa/status/1247551584877379585?s=20

*First Published: Apr 7, 2020, 6:50 pm CDT

@ms_k_mc / TikTok

@bebegirl0018 / TikTok

@Blackkout__ / TikTok

Posted on Apr 7, 2020 Updated on Apr 8, 2020, 2:46 pm CDT
White girls and women are fetishizing Black men in bizarre TikTok videos that include rap songs, comments about physical attributes, and tags like #mytype or #Blackmen.
The Daily Dot reviewed nine videos where white women objectified Black men, including seven on TikTok and two posted by Twitter users calling out the creators.
Most of the videos following the trend have thousands of likes on TikTok.
In a video with almost 4,500 likes, user @ms_k_mc appears makes faces alongside the text “Men I like.” Four options pop up: “White men,” “Asian men,” “Mexican men,” and “Island men.” She uses her fingers to shoot down each of the options before presenting above her the ultimate choice: “Black men” with the heart and fire emojis.
#mytype what’s your type? #fineassblackmen ♥️♥️♥️
In another video , user @bebegirl0018 says “no” to a running list of ethnicities and races before the option “BLACK MEN??” appears on the screen and she nods in approval. Her video is tagged with #mytype, #blackguys, and #blackmen.
User @halpal__ shared a video with the caption, “WHERE ARE MY DARK CHOCOLATE BOYS” and expressed her preference for “specifically dark chocolate” men.
“Just to clear the air—no, I don’t date white boys,” she says. “I do date mixed boys, I like y’all little caramels okay. Y’all is fine as shit. But if you are chocolate, specifically dark chocolate—baby boy!”
In another video , a user posted the caption, “I fetishize black men what abt it?”
Twitter users called out one woman for fetishizing Black men. A TikTok video shows her saying, “So sweet, wonderful personalities….your kisses and your hugs just hit different … For all my chocolate men out there, who said it was OK to be that fine?”
According to the tweet, the video was uploaded by a TikTok user with a private account.
“Yes my dad is OK with me dating Black guys,” the woman says later in the video.
It’s not clear what prompted the video trend, but people on social media are expressing their issues with the content.
“Stop this trend of fetishizing black men in tiktok,” one Twitter user wrote. “It’s weird and uncomfortable to watch. Just say you like black men and go.”
The fetishization tied up in the #Blackmen TikTok trend is especially problematic given America’s history of white women—and society at large—using Black men as scapegoats for any criminal activity. In the 19th Century, Black men accused of sexually assaulting white women faced the death penalty, but white men accused of the same did not.
The historical problem has resulted in a psychological syndrome called “Blame a Black Man Syndrome,” according to Psychology Today , wherein either an imaginary Black man or an innocent, existing Black man are accused of a crime. According to psychiatry professor Rob Whitley, men who have been falsely accused of crimes can endure psychological damage “similar to that seen in torture survivors.”
Samira Sadeque is a New York-based journalist reporting on immigration, sexual violence, and mental health, and will sometimes write about memes and dinosaurs too. Her work also appears in Reuters, NPR, and NBC among other publications. She graduated from Columbia Journalism School, and her work has been nominated for SAJA awards. Follow: @Samideque
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Admit it: You probably have one; most of us do. No harm there. We like what we like, right?
Now that we’ve broken the ice, do you have a fetish?
Too personal? Well, how about this: Six months ago I decided to stop side-eyeing my singlehood (read: my painfully clichéd status as a smart, sexy and successful, yet single, black woman) and actively explore my options … online. Since I also happen to be a glutton for punishment, I dove straight into the deep end—otherwise known as (cue: Law & Order sound effect) Tinder.
If you’re unfamiliar (lucky you), Tinder is a handy little app that streamlines the search for true love. It’s now only a swipe away! (OK, it’s a little less romantic than that, but it sure is efficient!)
As a member of what is purportedly the least-pursued demographic online (smart, sexy and successful, yet single, black women), I was understandably leery about what—and whom—I’d encounter on an app best known for “hookups.” But in the interest of adventure, I braced myself for potential encounters with predators, grade-A creepers and flat-out racists.
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I wasn’t prepared for the fetishists.
Online daters often wear their preferences on their sleeves. While this helped me easily weed out the riffraff, it quickly revealed that there’s a fine line between a “type” and a fetish.
(Note: There are myriad fetishes. But for our purposes, let’s focus on racial fetishism—loosely defined as having an unnatural preoccupation or obsession with cultural and/or physical characteristics of a race other than one’s own.)
Full disclosure: I became an equal-opportunity dater in high school. Since black boys in suburban Minneapolis seemed primarily interested in blondes and Asians, I, too, became an early adopter of “the swirl.” But my experiences dating “across the aisle” were no preparation for the highly racialized world of online dating.
There were, of course, obvious offenders: the white guy whose profile pic was a “Black Girls Only” meme, the black guy whose profile declared, “NO Black girls,” and the ever-classy “I’ve always wanted to date a [insert race here] girl … ”
Thanks for sharing, guys. Good luck with that.
But in my experience, fetishists often use a more nuanced approach. If you miss the cues, you might get charmed into your own objectification. Here are a few I’ve encountered:
“You’re really hot. You remind me of … [insert random celeb I bear little or no resemblance to—outside of race—here]”
Clearly, this is meant to be complimentary, but it’s suspect. First, it implies a very limited scope of “acceptable” black beauty. Basically, it’s the romantic equivalent of the “paper bag” test.
Second, if the scope of beauty is that specific, it begs a question of exposure: Exactly how many black people has this person encountered—let alone found attractive?
Third, it screams: Exoticism! Enough said.
They’re open about having a type (fair enough), but a roundup of their exes resembles a lookalike contest—on paper and off.
Case in point: a dude who, upon learning of my modeling career, casually prattled off the names of several other models he’d dated.
Fun fact: Not only were we all the same physical type, but we also worked with the same agency. Apparently he liked one-stop shopping—and his women interchangeable?
Way to take a “type” to the extreme … right into fetishism.
It’s that awkward moment when an attempt at bonding becomes fetishistic, usually through unsolicited but enthusiastic declarations of interest in “urban culture”—which, of course, I share because I’m … “urban”?
Umm … no. But of course I’m up on the latest hip hop/R&B/reggae/trap music/line dance/episode of Love & Hip Hop: Whatever: I’m black!
Nothing more to say here, except they mean well.
“You know, I’ve never been attracted to black men/women before, but … ”
Well, please don’t make an exception on my account, because I’m not attracted to anyone who has previously disqualified an entire race from consideration.
In an atmosphere that’s often overwhelmingly white (*cough* online dating), making me a concession isn’t complimentary. So, no, your interest does not make me feel special. And no, I’m not interested in confirming or dispelling myths about “my people.”
Please. Take your race-curious ass on somewhere.
5. The “Down-for-the-Cause” Fetish
This last one is delicate, because as much as I love and appreciate white—or any color—allies, submitting an activist résumé is not required for this particular position. It’s dating, dude.
“You marched with BLM—and your parents were Freedom Riders? Great. Oh, you minored in African-American studies? Cool! You’re rereading Between the World and Me ? Awesome!”
We just met, and already I’m exhausted, because the idea of becoming an accessory in someone else’s activism sounds like a full-time job: fetish enabler.
Want to be down for the cause? Treat me like a human being entitled to the same rights and protections as anyone else.
Fetishism is real, y’all … and especially rampant online. If you’re into being objectified, great; do you—and them. Otherwise, do yourself a favor and recognize it before you swipe right.
Maiysha Kai is a Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, fashion model, devoted auntie and Brooklyn, N.Y.-based, single black bombshell who recently strutted into her 40s. She is also an expert at oversharing who chronicles her attempts at dating—and adulting—on 40onFleek .

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