Which Queer Eye Member Are You
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Which ‘Queer Eye’ Cast Member Are You?
For four incredible seasons and counting, the Fab Five have been delivering unforgettable moments on every single episode of Queer Eye. But we have one very important question: are you Antoni, Tan, Karamo, Bobby, or Jonathan? Only this quiz will tell you once and for all which Queer Eye cast member you are, so what are you waiting for? Let’s get started!
While driving late one night, you hit a deer with your car. By the way it is lying broken and bloody on the pavement, you can tell it is not going to live for long. The dying deer looks you in the eyes and yells, “I’m you!” How would you kill the deer?
1. I would get back in my car and run it over to finish the job.
3. I would tape the deer to the hood of my car, drag it into my house, and put its head in my microwave.
4. I would make a sign that says, “I deserve this because I shoplifted,” and I would hang it around the deer’s neck. Then I would drive away and leave the deer to die in agony.
5. I would pour honey on the deer so that ants would come and eat the deer alive.
You are the kingdom’s High Executioner. The Pharaoh has commanded you to cut out the tongue of a blasphemer. What do you say to the prisoner as you brutally strip away his power of speech?
1. “Your tongue is a foul asp whose fangs are venom-soaked words. I will behead the serpent for the good of Amen-Ra and his disciples.”
2. “Let this be a lesson for all those who dare to speak ill of Osiris.”
3. “The Pharaoh’s wrath is terrifying, but it is also purifying. Rejoice! For with this knife, I cleanse you of your sin!”
5. “Silence is the music of death. Now you shall forever sing the song of your own oblivion.”
You meet a man who says that you owe him your eyes because your father lost a bet. He holds out a jar and tells you to place your eyes inside of it. How do you respond?
1. All debts must be paid. I rip out my eyes and place them in the man’s jar.
2. All debts must be paid with interest. I rip out my eyes and place them in the man’s jar. Then I rip out the man’s eyes and place them inside the jar as well. Now the man has two sets of eyes instead of just one.
3. I reach into my pocket and give the man somebody else’s eyes.
4. I gladly surrender my eyes. I don’t need them to see. Every time I go blind, something comes from the woods and whispers directions in my ear.
5. If I can’t have my eyes, then nobody can. I would tilt back my head so that my eyes roll backward into my skull, never to be seen again.
While walking in a nameless forest, you see a woman transform into a tortoise.
4. The world could always use more tortoises
5. Tortoises that used to be humans lose all power of speech except for the ability to recite the infinite digits of the Golden Ratio
In your nightly dream about a pyramid floating over a meadow of flame, who walks out of the pyramid right before you wake up?
1. My mother with antlers. There are tiny versions of my head dangling from the antlers like apples on tree branches.
2. A goat reciting the Fibonacci sequence in the voice of a child who hasn’t been born yet
3. My father as an adult holding my father as a baby
4. A man with a mind in the shape of a hexagon
5. Nobody walks out of the pyramid, but a smaller pyramid floats out of the larger pyramid and then smaller pyramid and the larger pyramid switch sizes
Which ‘Queer Eye’ Cast Member Are You?
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ClickHole uses invented names in all of its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. ClickHole is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. © 2020 Clickhole
Quiz: Which "Queer Eye" Guy Are You?: HowStuffWorks
The 2018 reboot of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, which is now called simply Queer Eye, has a 97% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Why? Because people love the personalities of the new show's cast, which includes Tan France, Jonathan Van Ness, Bobby Berk, Karamo Brown and Antoni Porowski.
Resident food and wine expert Antoni teaches makeover candidates how to make healthy, produce-focused dishes like guacamole, fruit salad and sangria. Some viewers suspect that he can't really cook at all, but all viewers agree that his brown eyes, delicate features and thick brown hair are dreamy. Culture and lifestyle expert Karamo talks to makeover candidates about their self-confidence, personal interests and social life. He coaches them on how to take on their fears and feel better about themselves. Fashion expert Tan teaches makeover candidates how to dress! Occasionally, he advocates for styles which are clearly too daring for the men meant to wear them, but his taste is impeccable.Grooming expert Jonathan helps makeover candidates with any hair or skin issues they might have. With his bubbly personality, he defuses any embarrassment the makeover candidates might be feeling, and makes body-positive recommendations. Finally, design expert Bobby has the hardest job: redesigning and (in some cases) rebuilding each makeover candidate's home! From painting to building furniture to decorating, Bobby puts in an enormous amount of work, a fact which sometimes goes unappreciated by viewers. So, which Queer Eye cast member are you most like? Take this quiz to find out!
How would you describe your personal style?
Trendy. I wear a lot of floral-patterned shirts.
Quietly chic. I wear a lot of black.
Wild! I wear outfits that make you look twice.
I like that their name sounds naughty!
I'm more of a classical music person.
How do you react when you meet new people?
I'm warm, but I also carefully assess them.
I act chill and am emotionally open with them.
I'm totally unguarded and say whatever's on my mind.
I'm somewhat shy with people I don't know well.
What does your apartment look like?
It's sleek and uncluttered, with the latest appliances and white leather furniture.
It's colorful and eclectic, showcasing my art collection and eye for unexpected color combinations.
It's messy. I'm not a bird; I have better things to do than nest!
It's an Apartment Therapy-style showplace.
Were you raised by a religious family?
Yes. It took a long time for my family to accept that I didn't share their beliefs.
Yes. After I grew up and chose to leave the church, my family rejected me.
What's your morning grooming routine?
Let's just say it involves a lot of blow-drying.
It takes me a long time to look artfully disheveled.
It takes two hours, but I'm worth it!
I apply sunscreen, moisturizer and hair gel, but otherwise don't do much.
No. I was born in the South, then I moved to the West Coast.
How do you feel about personal development?
I'm always working on personal development. It's a powerful tool that can transform your life.
I see the point of it, but I'm more of a spiritual person.
I'm passionate about continuing to expand my skills, even if I don't talk about it much.
I find it hard to follow any of those housekeeping systems.
I think I can, but in fact, I cannot.
How do you react when an interaction between you and another person isn't going well?
I pretend not to notice any awkwardness and move forward.
I try to draw the other person out, asking them lots of questions.
I make a joke about how crazy-awkward the interaction is!
I stay calm. Sometimes people don't get along and that's fine.
Do people always understand your jokes?
Usually! Unless I'm making fun of them under my breath.
Yes, I guess I have a pretty obvious sense of humor.
How much hair gel is too much hair gel?
There's no such thing as too much hair gel.
You'll want to squeeze out a quarter-shaped amount of product and work it through your hair, starting from the back and moving forward.
No. I know my worth and I let others know they need to treat me with respect.
No. I'm always nice to other people and they're always nice to me.
Sometimes people find my demeanor so eccentric that it takes them a while to see my good points.
Yes. I work really hard to help other people but they often don't give me credit for it.
I liked it in college but haven't watched it since then.
I use assertiveness and good communication skills to reach a compromise.
I disarm others with humor and then jolly them into agreeing with me.
I smile, nod and agree to do as the other person has asked, but inside, I'm seething.
They laugh at my jokes but I worry it's only because I'm cute.
What do you typically eat for dinner?
I grill a steak and toss up an arugula salad.
I grab a burrito from a local taco truck.
I eat baked chicken, mashed potatoes and steamed greens.
Are you a fan of "Game of Thrones"?
I don't really watch TV, except at the gym.
Whenever I have a few days off, I binge it.
How do you feel about satin bomber jackets?
I own about 10 satin bomber jackets.
I own at least three satin bomber jackets.
I prefer my bomber jackets to be leather.
I don't like it when people act lazy.
I don't like it when people don't make an effort for their partner.
Do you enjoy finding out new facts?
Sure, although I don't seek out random information.
Yes, especially about food or books.
Which personal flaw do you find it easiest to forgive?
I run marathons or play team sports.
I like to relax at home; it's my cocoon.
I'm fussy about my appearance but not about my environment.
What's your favorite thing in the world?
I eat healthy but sometimes crave junk food, like chips.
I'm a big fan of easy-to-prepare snacks, like guacamole and cheese plates.
Classic American comfort food, such as fish sticks!
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