When It Was Peaceful

It never even crossed my mind that I would eventually end up back in the same hole once again. After parting ways with someone who turned out to be better than I had ever known, my entire life completely changed. All the ugly secrets and promises of confidentiality shattered, creating a story that spread until it reached the ears of the creators of my life.

I always assumed that things would get better in the future. Rarely stopping earlier than others, a growing sense of hope felt almost like winning the lottery. The pattern was always the same, while I kept looking for opportunities even when the odds weren't even close to a single percent. How foolish to continue something that nearly took my own life, and even others', and not just once.

This time, it is time to realize that everything ever done didn't mean much to someone. Even when we are floating adrift in the ocean, they don't truly care, their empathy is merely temporary, regardless of whether they are a partner or family. There is a scientific claim that I find hard to accept, "humans are creatures who need one another." Then why do I still feel so alone?

Maybe it's not just me, maybe it's not just them, maybe it's not just all of you, and maybe it's not just you. A story without a clear direction or a definitive ending makes everything so much easier to understand. Understanding is not about reaching the end, but about how we move through the process without a fixed destination.