What To Do When Dating An Addict

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Dating an addict or alcoholic presents a set of challenges that will require some patience, know how and help . Read more on what it takes to succeed . Confidential Help 24/7 800-338-5770
How to Help an Addict . When you are dating someone with an addiction, you naturally want to help them, and while codependent actions like lending them money or covering up for their drunken mistakes are actually destructive, there are healthy ways to genuinely help an addict . Research treatment options . Even when an addict wants to get help, they may not be motivated enough to investigate the options available to them, or clear-headed enough to do the research .
Generally speaking, recovering addicts are advised to take a break from dating during their first year of recovery . (The starting point is the day they first became sober) . If the person you've been seeing says they've been in recovery for under a year, you may want to think twice before getting too serious .
Instead, one of the best things you can do when you love an addict is making sure you're not enabling them . Enabling an addict refers to behaviors or scenarios where you're removing consequences from the behaviors of the addict . It can be as simple as lying for the person or covering for them .
Relationships often become unbalanced when one person is an addict , but both people need time and space to focus on themselves and their needs . 4 . Set clear boundaries . I wish I had clearer boundaries for myself going in so that I didn't stay as long as I did and watch the love we had sour . For instance, it would have been more helpful if I told myself that if I saw him using while we were together, I would have distanced myself from him .
#3 Recovering addicts need support . Being a loving partner to a recovering addict requires sensitivity and discretion .
I read books about addiction and tried every angle I came across, but it wasn't my place to rescue him from his own demons . Hopefully, an addict will find it within themselves to seek help and begin recovery . Whether or not this happens has nothing to do with you . 4 . Love can't fix it . You may find, as I did, that your love is unrequited .
If you ever suspect that physical violence may occur, do not hesitate to call 911 . 5 . Recognize that you cannot force change . An addict is not going to give up his or her habit by being pressured by loved ones .
Dating an addict certainly pushes you to understanding the depth of forgiveness . Of course it is a struggle for you to make them better persons . Unfortunately, you just have to be as tolerant as possible . It is one thing though to forgive them, it is another thing to forgive yourself for being in love with them .
The main thing is to follow your gut and know what you want to do before you do it . Because once you go down that road, there's no way to turn back . "My encouragement: delete the energy vampires from your life, clean out all complexity, build a team around you that frees you to fly, remove anything toxic, and cherish simplicity .
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What To Do When Dating An Addict