What Is The Best Way To Wank

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What Is The Best Way To Wank

Is there a best way to masturbate for men? We travel through time and space to bring you 10 effective self-pleasure tips.
Plato once wrote, “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” And the same is true for your penis and masturbation.It’s a question that’s occupied men’s minds since the beginning of time: is there a best way to masturbate? Take the ancient Egyptian creation myth of Atum – a lone god who came so hard he ejaculated the rest of the world into existence.
One of the ancient Romans’ favorite ways to masturbate was immortalized by a Pompeii graffito: “When my worries oppress my body, with my left hand, I release my pent-up fluids.” And then there’s the Taoist’s preferred masturbation method – essentially applying a ton of pressure to the perineum to achieve orgasm without ejaculation.

Eons of self-pleasure have proved that the orgasm has no final frontier

While there is no conclusive answer to the best way to masturbate for men, eons of self-pleasure have proved that the orgasm has no final frontier. Though we often focus on what turns us on during masturbation, the best way to masturbate for men is to also spend time tuning into what feels good . When you dare to discover your body’s pleasure capabilities, the solo sex possibilities end only with your imagination.
From changing up your routine to experimenting with reality-shifting toys, discover some of the best ways you can masturbate in the following 10 tips.

Break free of the boring, and you could open the door to reality-shifting solo sex discoveries.

The more you indulge all of your senses during masturbation, the greater your pleasure possibilities. Break free of the boring, and you could open the door to reality-shifting solo sex discoveries.
The best way to masturbate for men is doing it with intention. Choose a comfortable location, spend time setting the mood with lighting or music, and consider calming your mind and body with deep breathing or stretches.
There’s no need to masturbate at light speed. To get the most out of your solo sex experience, start slow and revel in the journey as much as the destination. While it’s hard not to make orgasm the end goal of masturbation, that doesn’t mean the whole experience should be a race to ejaculation.
The best way to masturbate for men is giving yourself enough time and space for self-discovery.
The best way to masturbate for men is to get curious and learn first hand about your body and sexual preferences. Boldly follow the path to whatever turns you on, explore your desires and fantasies, and extraordinary pleasure will open itself up to you.
One way to do this is experimenting with porn. Softcore movies, or audio or written erotica could provide just the right kind of suspense in your masturbation storyline.
“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known,” said astronomer and scientist Carl Sagan. And when it comes to the best way to masturbate for men, you can consider the body’s many erogenous zones as untapped planets of pleasure.
Before you go wild with your penis on your quest to find the best way to masturbate for men, traverse your ears, nipples, neck, mouth, lips, inner thighs, scrotum, taint (perineum), and anus.
Did you know, for example, that in its ability to produce sexual arousal, the scrotum if one of the most significant male erogenous zones? Likewise, the taint, located between your balls and your anus, is home to a ton of sensitive nerve endings. One amazing way to masturbate for men is rubbing, stroking or pressing the area.
Make the pleasure universal and you might just be rewarded with a full-body supernova.
Never underestimate masturbation positions in the pursuit of the best way to masturbate for men. Whether you do it kneeling down, with your legs in the air, or lying on your side, there are almost limitless options for your self-love session. Experimenting with positions brings new perspectives to pleasure–including enhanced orgasms. Besides, it’s always refreshing to try something different.
Plato once wrote, “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” And the same is true for your penis and masturbation. Never mind the tried-and-tested, effort-to-orgasm ratio. Playing with different strokes will open your mind to the best way to masturbate for men.
Aside from the regular up-and-down thrust, some of the best male masturbation techniques include using a three-finger grip, twisting motions, or touching the head of your penis while stroking.
Alternatively, have you considered a stroker toy? They’re easier to use than you might think…
Switching things up could also mean employing your non-dominant hand – as the ancient Romans preferred. While it might not be the most efficient or best way to masturbate for men, this technique could unleash untapped pleasure sensations. After all, it’s not far off from the feeling of someone else giving you a hand job.

Male G-spot orgasms can not only blow your mind. Stimulate the prostate directly, and it’s possible to come without even laying a finger on your penis.

This is a strong contender for the best way to masturbate for men. The Taoists were onto something when they stimulated the prostate gland indirectly via the perineum for an ejaculation-free orgasm.
But male G-spot orgasms can not only blow your mind. Stimulate the prostate directly, and it’s possible to come without even laying a finger on your penis.
Mastering male G-spot stimulation—either with a finger or a toy—is undoubtedly one of the best male masturbation techniques for intense pleasure.
Have you considered adding a toy into your masturbation routine? Targeted air pressure on the underside of the frenulum is a game changer. If you’ve ever wondered just how good the female orgasm feels, the Arcwave Ion is here to answer the question for you.
Incorporating toys isn’t just one of the most fun ways to masturbate for men. It’s one of our favorite masturbation tips for men to propel their orgasms into hyperspace.
Does a hands-free climax sound like the best way to masturbate for men? Then check out automatic strokers. How about a next-level, full-body orgasm via the magical prostate? Some of the best prostate toys on the market can help you achieve just that.
Can you rub your belly and tap your head at the same time? Us neither. But multitasking during masturbation – one of the best ways to masturbate for men – is not nearly as challenging as it sounds. It could be as simple as fondling or gently pulling on your balls while you masturbate. Or how about letting a toy go to work on your G-spot while you slowly stroke your penis and other erogenous zones?
You needn’t ejaculate new worlds into existence to open up exciting new dimensions of your orgasm. Go to work on these tips and the best way to masturbate for men will be within easy reach. Remember, your journey of sexual self-discovery ends only with your imagination—so keep experimenting.
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It made David Lynch's version look like Star Wars.
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Like monkeys and Pokemon , masturbation is evolving. Our ancestors used to put a stick covered in termites in their proto-dicks to get off. Nowadays, we have robots that will give us space-age handies with a kung fu grip and lube designed by NASA, I assume. The NASA security guys won't let me snoop around, but I know what I know.
As with all things, though, we must ask: Is newer better? Sure, if you're dying of a terrible disease, you can go to a hospital for treatment with modern medicine, but some people still like the idea of using herbs to clear up a sucking chest wound. Who knows what might work? So with that in mind, I have decided to put my very body on the line to help you , fellow jackers, determine just what is the best method of wanking. Do the olden ways stand up to today's modern superjackoffery? Science will tell us!
I don't have a degree in anthropology or dick tuggery, but I am an amateur in both. It is therefore my nonprofessional belief that the origin of masturbation is connected to the right wrist. Even for you lefties. Back in the day, you wouldn't dare touch your precious genitals with your sinister devil's paw. Only the right hand would do.
So we can agree that masturbation probably first happened with a bare hand -- probably well before the 1920s, if you can believe it. Maybe one day, our monkey ancestor was sitting in his tree, lounging under a palm frond, enjoying some delicious papaya, when some of it slipped and landed on his little monkey dinky. He reached for it, grabbed both together, pulled, and suddenly we had nuclear power, iPhones, and Hot Pockets.
As it happens, I have tried this old chestnut myself once or twice, but for science, I did it again. So I hope that right now, you're picturing me literally stopping my writing of this article right here, pushing my chair back a little bit, pulling out the mayo, and starting to churn my own butter. Try to imagine some sound effects, like a grunt of consternation, a chipmunk-like tittering, and the bass growl of a tired and hungry bear.
Did you picture it? Monster. Anyway, I'm sure nearly all of you are aware that this is aces. It's hard to beat the good cheer brought about by your own hand. It knows just what you like, and if you're not too callused (or maybe you are and you dig texture), then it feels just fine, too. For you ladies, try to imagine something you really enjoy the feel of, repeatedly and rhythmically working your lady flower. I'm told by our research team that female masturbation is actually a thing these days as well, and has more fans than paddle boarding, so maybe imagine that.
As many fellows will tell you, about a year or two after you've mastered the hand technique, your mind starts wandering. Your hand is one thing in a world of many things. Probably, like, 400 things. What would those other 399 things feel like if they were jerking your gherkin? So you start experimenting. Maybe it's Halloween and you have a pumpkin handy. Maybe your beanbag chair sprung a leak and has an appropriately-sized orifice barfing beans in your room. Maybe you have a slice of ham.
I'm not saying there's anything inherently sexy about ham. I'm not saying you can't use turkey, or even tofurky, if you swing that way. I'm really just advocating the texture more than anything -- which, upon rereading this sentence, is somehow even more gross. Still, an industrious-yet-lonely man with a boner is basically a sexual MacGyver.
If you're not picking up what I'm putting down yet, allow me to elucidate. For this particular solo mission to Dribblesville, you need to take a slice of deli ham -- and in this case, you don't necessarily want it super thin -- and maybe pop it in the microwave for 10 seconds. Maybe you want it in a piece of bread for added grip, I don't know. I don't want to be the conductor on this train to penile trichinosis; I'm just sharing information. Point is, you wrap warm meat around your cyclopean flesh carrot, and strum away like Clapton performing his final concert.
This is a lot like regular masturbation, only the smell is much more off-putting. Have you smelled deli ham lately? Give it a try. Then rub it aggressively on your crotch for a few minutes. The porcine groin bouquet is a bit sweet and a bit musky -- kind of like what you might expect from a corpse, or a Kardashian when no cameras are around. I can't recommend it.
Also, for safety's sake, you may want to give the ham a few seconds of downtime before drafting it to the big game, since microwaves are all programmed to heat on the 10/70/20 pattern, whereby 20 percent is lukewarm, 70 percent is mostly what you had in mind, and 10 percent is a state of bubbling plasma that could burn through an engine block, or in this case, your dong.
Fleshlight has apparently sold over seven million units worldwide. Heh. "Unit." Each one is like that horrible monster that Coach pukes up in Poltergeist , only instead of a demonic preacher's face, it's a molded rubbery vagina or bumhole. There's a reason Fleshlight hasn't hired me as an ad man. That aside, the inside of a Fleshlight is soft, squishy, and textured with various nubs, swirls, and ridges. The basic goal of a Fleshlight was to make a vagina into a handheld device; an idea that will get exponentially creepier the more time you devote to thinking about it.
Patented in 1998, the Fleshlight was the answer to the warm meat conundrum: How can I rub my chub in a way that is more exotic and satisfying than using my hand, but will not leave a slime trail of salmonella bacteria on my sack? Many people claim the Fleshlight is even better than the real thing, at which point we're left to consider whether by "real thing" they mean their hand -- which of course they don't mean -- or an actual human vagina -- which, sadly, they do mean. The existential sadness of anyone claiming that a disembodied rubber vag-sleeve is better than having sex with another person is something no Cracked columnist can dare take on without some serious alcohol to fuel the poetic ennui that will follow. I refuse the challenge, because I have masters to bate and a soul that still glows a little when you say nice things to it. Maybe one day, if I ever willingly take a nap on a back alley mattress and start agreeing with things Donald Trump says, I'll be able to revisit this idea, but until then, no. No sir.
Now, this isn't to say a Fleshlight is an unpleasant experience. If you have the chance, you go ahead and pork that little rubber fun hole. It's not bad at all. I would argue that a Fleshlight is to sex what Taco Bell is to a Mexican banquet. It's not really in the ballpark, and sure, some snotty people who think they're better than you will make fun of it. But you know what? When you're drunk at 2 a.m., that shit is a godsend.
The major downside to the Fleshlight is that it's a lot like manual labor. Masturbating with your hand affords you that flesh-to-flesh connection. It's not work; it's personal grooming. You're cleaning your pipes. But the Fleshlight in hand makes it a bit more like mixing a never-ending martini that you can't drink -- and instead of an olive, you're garnishing it with man nectar that you need to hose out the end of a length of flopping, disembodied, pseudo-vaginal canal.
I want you to put on your 3D glasses, hop on your hoverboard, and start eating astronaut ice cream, because the future of tugging on your tuber is now. The Autoblow 2 is the most advanced form of wanking mankind has to offer. After this, we can only design robot arms with gentle-yet-firm jacking motions. And you know after the preliminary trials, the whole project is going to be set back when one goes haywire and yanks some volunteer's dick off with such force that it gets javelined across a room and embedded in a brick wall.
The Autoblow takes the basic premise of a Fleshlight -- a fake, semi-realistic vagina with a tail -- and adds a new dimension of awesome that the old Fleshlight failed miserably at achieving. This dimension is, of course, autonomy. You can read a damn book while this thing grinds your organ. You'll probably need to balance it between your thighs a little, or wedge it slightly between yourself and a pillow. But with only a little effort, you're doing your taxes, you're eating pudding, you're braiding your hair, whatever. Sky's the limit.
The clear upside of the Autoblow is that it finally takes masturbation out of your hands. You just have to be comfortable with a Donkey Kong-esque barrel on your junk. It has variable speeds as well, so you can go from lazy Quaalude mumble-munch to Furious 7 Vin Diesel power gulp. The downside to the Autoblow, depending on how you feel about noise, is that it sounds like you're being blown by the factory from the end The Terminator . Just a cacophony of churning, rumbling gears, and actuators slouching along towards Jizzrael.
The other issue here is one of balance. The Autoblow's big selling point is that it saves you the dreaded carpal tunnel and wrist stress of all compulsive masturbators before you, but it's still not entirely hands-free. It's got girth -- it's like you're trying to fuck a two-liter bottle of root beer that's really into it -- but you either have to hold it up or, as I said, find some way to balance it. Or as a last ditch effort, you need to stand and place it at wang level with something to weigh it down and just be there, in the moment. A dude with his dick in a blowie machine.
Has technology improved the wank? Have our advances in texturized rubbers improved our alone time? Is the handjob your grandfather's handjob? After thorough consideration, weighing all pros and cons, I have to conclude that traditional, you-and-your-dirty-kielbasa-claw masturbation is still the best form. Why? Ease of use. It's as simple as that. Sure, the Autoblow is an impressive sensation, but can you do that on an elevator with a hole cut in the pocket of your dress pants without anyone else noticing? Not at all. Are you taking a few minutes out of your workday to "go to the bathroom" and bringing a Fleshlight? Do you dare smuggle a ham sandwich into a movie theater?
Fact is, your hand belongs on your arm, so no one is ever suspicious when you have it. You never need to plan to bring it anywhere, and you never need to hide it or prepare it or sanitize it and put it away when you're done. These other methods are like those kitchen gadgets they advertise in infomercials. Sure, maybe you could buy the Bullet home smoothie-making kit and use it a few times, but for the most part, you're just filling a plain old cup with vodka and drinking that. It's simple. It's what you've been doing your whole life. It's efficient, and at the end of the day, it does the job perfectly.
So in a way, technology has indeed changed the way you jerk off -- and maybe even made it feel better, or at least different. But did it improve it? Will it replace it? No. No it won't.
Masturbatory scientists have been at it for a long time (heh). Check out their progress in 7 Important Historical Breakthroughs (In Masturbation) . And see their greatest breakthrough yet: Masturbation Cream. No this isn't a lubricant
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