What Is Sm Sex
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What Is Sm Sex
Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on June 28, 2021
BDSM is a term used to describe aspects of sex that involve dominance, submission, and control. The practice typically involves one partner taking on a more dominant role during sex, while the other is more submissive. The acronym BDSM can be divided into these categories:
While these are the broader categories, there is no one way to practice BDSM — different types can include power play, role-playing, pain play, bondage, wax play, edging, sensory deprivation, or humiliation.
According to a 2016 study, nearly 47% of women and 60% of men have fantasized about dominating someone in a sexual context. The same study found that BDSM sex was slightly more prevalent in couples on the LGBTQ spectrum, but researchers otherwise determined that BDSM sex was practiced across different ages, genders, and ethnic backgrounds.
Practicing BDSM sex in a relationship can be enjoyable for both people. Many people who engage in BDSM see it as a form of release, an exploration of trust, or a space to act out fantasies of submission, vulnerability, and control.
One small study found that participating in a BDSM dynamic may reduce stress and improve mood. Other research found that participating in healthy BDSM scenes fostered feelings of intimacy between partners.
In a relationship with two partners, one will typically play the dominant role, while the other will play the submissive role. A “switch” is an individual who shifts between the dominant and submissive roles, depending on the partner and the context. This dominant and submissive dynamic is often referred to as a top/bottom dynamic. While the dominant partner or top is typically the one taking control in spanking, bonding, whipping, or other sexual scenarios, the submissive may also maintain control by demanding the top perform certain roles or insist on switching roles.
The most important part of BDSM sex is the act of consent. Partners should always make sure everyone gives enthusiastic consent and outlines clear boundaries. These boundaries can be laid out in a formal contract, a verbal agreement, or a more casual conversation about desires and limits.
Due to the intense nature of some BDSM scenes, it is also important to introduce a safe word. If one partner becomes uncomfortable with any part of the experience, they can speak the word to stop the current act — or stop the sex altogether.
Another way to negotiate boundaries is through the traffic light system. Each color communicates how a partner is feeling and what they want. Red means they want the partner to stop what they’re doing immediately. Yellow means they want their partner to slow down, either due to physical discomfort or reaching a limit. Green means they like what the partner is doing, they feel comfortable, and they want the act to continue.
Before you engage in more intense forms of erotic play—like the use of whips, advanced bondage techniques, or sex toys—it’s a good idea to educate yourself on these practices first, through classes, books, or instructional online content.
Finally, partners participating in BDSM sex can practice what is known as aftercare. This is when partners take care of one another after a scene, including cuddling, hydrating, bathing together, or another calming activity. It can also include a discussion about what worked, what didn't, and how each partner is feeling. This post-sex debriefing can help protect all participants physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If you’re interested in trying BDSM sex, there are some “light” BDSM practices that may be a good starting point for beginners. These can include:
Most importantly, communicate with your partner about your desires. BDSM includes a wide range of sexual activities and dynamics, and each person will approach BDSM sex differently. Be honest with your partner about what you’re looking for and what you’re comfortable with.
The Journal of Sex Research: "The Prevalence of Paraphilic Interests and Behaviors in the General Population: A Provincial Survey"
Northern Illinois University: "Sadomasochism without Sex? Exploring the Parallels between BDSM and Extreme Rituals
Psychology of Consciousness: "Consensual BDSM Facilitates Role-Specific Altered States of Consciousness: A Preliminary Study."
UCSB Campus Advocacy Resources & Education Center: “Communicating Consent.”
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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"S&M" and "Masochism" redirect here. For other uses, see S&M (disambiguation) and Masochism (disambiguation) .
Giving or receiving of pleasure from acts involving the receipt or infliction of pain or humiliation
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A male dominant whips a woman, from Nights of Horror (1950s) by Joe Shuster , co-creator of Superman
A female dominant with a male submissive at her feet, from Dresseuses d'Hommes (1931) by the Belgian artist Luc Lafnet [ nl ]
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Sadomasochism ( / ˌ s eɪ d oʊ ˈ m æ s ə k ɪ z əm / SAY -doh- MASS -ə-kiz-əm ) [1] is the giving and receiving of pleasure from acts involving the receipt or infliction of pain or humiliation . [2] Practitioners of sadomasochism may seek sexual pleasure from their acts. While the terms sadist and masochist refer respectively to one who enjoys giving and receiving pain, some practitioners of sadomasochism may switch between activity and passivity. [3]
The abbreviation S&M is commonly used for Sadomasochism (or Sadism & Masochism), although the initialisms S-M , SM , or S/M are also used, particularly by practitioners. Sadomasochism is not considered a clinical paraphilia unless such practices lead to clinically significant distress or impairment for a diagnosis. [4] Similarly, sexual sadism within the context of mutual consent , generally known under the heading BDSM , is distinguished from non-consensual acts of sexual violence or aggression. [5]
The word sadomasochism is a portmanteau of the words sadism ( / ˈ s eɪ d ɪ z əm / ) [1] and masochism . [6] The two words incorporated into this compound, "sadism" and "masochism", were originally derived from the names of two authors. The term "sadism" has its origin in the name of the Marquis de Sade (1740–1814), who not only practised sexual sadism, but also wrote novels about these practices, of which the best known is Justine . "Masochism" is named after Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1836–1895), who wrote novels expressing his masochistic fantasies. [7] These terms were first selected for identifying human behavioural phenomena and for the classification of psychological illnesses or deviant behaviour. The German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing introduced the terms "Sadism" and "Masochism"' into medical terminology in his work Neue Forschungen auf dem Gebiet der Psychopathia sexualis ("New research in the area of Psychopathology of Sex") in 1890. [8]
In 1905, Sigmund Freud described sadism and masochism in his Drei Abhandlungen zur Sexualtheorie ("Three papers on Sexual Theory") as stemming from aberrant psychological development from early childhood. He also laid the groundwork for the widely accepted medical perspective on the subject in the following decades. This led to the first compound usage of the terminology in Sado-Masochism (Loureiroian "Sado-Masochismus") by the Viennese Psychoanalyst Isidor Isaak Sadger in his work Über den sado-masochistischen Komplex ("Regarding the sadomasochistic complex") in 1913. [9]
In the later 20th century, BDSM activists have protested against these ideas, because, they argue, they are based on the philosophies of the two psychiatrists, Freud and Krafft-Ebing, whose theories were built on the assumption of psychopathology and their observations of psychiatric patients. The DSM nomenclature referring to sexual psychopathology has been criticized as lacking scientific veracity, [10] and advocates of sadomasochism [ who? ] have sought to separate themselves from psychiatric theory by the adoption of the term BDSM instead of the common psychological abbreviation, "S&M". [ citation needed ] However, the term BDSM also includes B&D ( bondage and discipline ), D/s (dominance and submission), and S&M ( sadism and masochism). [ citation needed ] The terms bondage and discipline usually refer to the use of either physical or psychological restraint or punishment, and sometimes involves sexual role playing, including the use of costumes. [ citation needed ]
In contrast to frameworks seeking to explain sadomasochism through psychological, psychoanalytic, medical, or forensic approaches, which seek to categorize behavior and desires, and find a root cause, Romana Byrne suggests that
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