What Is Rimming During Sex

What Is Rimming During Sex

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All your questions about anal foreplay, answered.
You might have heard of rimming, also known as anilingus, but you’d be forgiven for not knowing exactly what it means. The term refers to anal foreplay with the tongue – specifically licking, penetrating, sucking, kissing, or otherwise orally stimulating your partner's anus.
People of all genders and sexual orientations have been engaging in anal play for centuries. We know this thanks to the saucy pictures depicted on Ancient Greek pottery dating back to 500BC. But is rimming safe and does it come with any health risks?
We speak to psychosexual and relationship counsellor Carolyn Cowan and GP trainee Dr Elizabeth Dapre about what a rim job is, safety tips and how to enjoy anal play responsibly:
Rimming, also known as anilingus, is part of anal pleasure. 'It is licking the anus, the anal sphincter and the perineum,' explains Cowan. 'It is often performed alongside genital touch.'
Although it's an enjoyable foreplay experience, those who engage in rimming are unlikely to climax from it alone. 'Most will not orgasm through rimming alone and it is considered as a part of sexual foreplay,' adds Cowan. 'However, it is a great way to discover if you find your, or your partner’s anus, or anal play, arousing as it does not involve penetration and so there is no risk of pain.'
As with any sexual activity, how rimming works depends very much on the couple. Cowan suggests: 'It's best to discuss with your partner if they would like to try to play in this way, first. For some, the anus is no-go area and it is important to respect this.
With a little bit of preparation and some basic hygiene, there's no reason why you can't still enjoy anilingus.
'If playing with this for the first time you could begin with oral sex and genital play and they work your way down. It can be enjoyed across the gender and gender preference spectrum, and is considered a gentle form of anal play.'
While rimming is an enjoyable experience for many, some of you may be concerned about the hygiene risks associated with putting your tongue on your partner's anus.
'In addition to the common sexually transmitted infections, such as herpes and warts, which can be passed on via any type of oral sex, venturing that little bit further to experiment with anilingus does increase your risk of contracting specific infections carried within faecal matter,' says Dr Dapre.
Rimming is one of the riskier choices of sexual play because of the potential for contracting infections.
In short: 'rimming is one of the riskier choices of sexual play because of the potential for contracting infections which can be transmitted via your poo,' explains Dr Dapre. But with a little bit of preparation and some basic hygiene, there's no reason why you can't still enjoy the activity.
As with most sexual activities, there is a risk of catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI) if you engage in anilingus with an infected partner. Dr Dapre outlines the following potential risks that comes with rimming:
Hepatitis A is a common viral infection which can cause inflammation of the liver and can make you feel very unwell.
Salmonella, shigella, E. coli and campylobacter are all bacterial infections which can cause diarrhoea , abdominal pain and fevers, and which are also transmitted via the faeco-oral route.
Parasitic infections such giardiasis are also transmitted in this way, and produce similar symptoms, often requiring treatment with antibiotics.
If you are concerned about contracting or passing on an STI, make an appointment with your local sexual health clinic to get checked out before engaging in sexual activity with a new partner.
Don't let the health risks put you off – if you want to try rimming, there are steps you can take to make the activity as safe as possible and still have a great time, as outlined by Dr Dapre:
The anus is rife with bacteria and so cleanliness and protection is key. Ensure the area is completely cleaned before engaging in sexual activity.
The safest way to engage in oro-anal play is to ensure that you and your partner are up to date with your STI checks .
Using barrier methods, such as dental dams , can significantly reduce the risks of catching or passing anything on. Dental dams, for those who are not familiar, are sheets of latex that can be used on genitals to protect against STIs and infections.
You may also wish to douche the area before rimming in order to ensure cleanliness and help you both relax. If so, ensure you use a douche or enema designed specifically for anal use.
If you intend to continue with foreplay or sex after analingus, it's extremely important to wash your mouth efficiently before putting your tongue anywhere near your partner's mouth, penis or vagina afterwards, to avoid spreading infection.
Aside from our rimming safety tips, anal play can be great fun so use your imagination and enjoy!

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"Rimming" may sound like a neat skateboard trick. And "toss the salad" may sound like a simple cooking instruction. But actually, both are euphemisms for a sex act that can bring big time pleasure: analingus.
And though people are more open to talking about it now, butt play isn't anything new. It's been a thing long before Nicki Minaj was rapping about oral-anal in "Anaconda," or Desi made love to Marni’s bum with his tongue in Girls.
Still, it wasn’t until peach play entered the cultural zeitgeist that rimming started to get the attention it deserves. But here’s the thing: A sex act as pleasurable as analingus could always get more attention (and experimenters), since rimming can be pleasurable to receive and/or give.
"As a stand-alone act, receiving rimming can be just as or more pleasurable than any other kind of anal sex," says Carol Queen, PhD, sexologist with sex toy company Good Vibrations . "Giving anal-oral can also be hot because you’re turning someone on, doing a service act for them, and it's super naughty."
Intrigued? Ahead, renowned sexologists and educators share all the intel on exactly what rimming entails. (Just be warned: You’ll be aching to bend over or bend someone over after reading about it.)
Rimming is the colloquial term for the act of licking in and around the (ahem) rim of another person's asshole. Also known as analingus, it's oral sex performed on a butt, explains Queen.
"Rimming often involves circling the entrance of the ass," she says. But just as is true with oral on vulvas and penises, there are lots of options for oral-anal play, she explains. "Tongue penetration can be part of it, too," she says.
"It's definitely a legitimate source of sexual pleasure for many people," says Kimberly McBride , PhD, Associate Professor of Public Health at the University of Toledo, who's extensively researched anal sex. In fact, she encourages people not to "shy away from that kind of an exploration because it can be very pleasurable."
Why does it feel so good, exactly? "There are a lot of erotic nerve endings in the anus, so people can really find themselves having a different, better orgasm from rimming," explains Joe Kort , PhD, a certified sex therapist in Royal Oak, Michigan. Plus, you can even get more aroused than usual since the area's typically unexplored, he adds.
Oh and btw, it's totally possible to orgasm from analingus without penetrative sex , according to both Kort and McBride. But even if a ride to rim town doesn’t bring you a Big O, incorporating it into your sexual repertoire can still enhance the overall experience. According to McBride, rimming can lead to more intense vaginal orgasm . Noted!
For some pleasure-seekers, rimming can be psychologically arousing, too, because despite the fact that Nicki has rapped about it, bum play, in a sense, still remains taboo. And taboos can be sexy because they activate the ~forbidden~ part of our brains, McBride explains.
Here's exactly how to give (and receive) a rim job.
Surprise parties can be fun. But a surprise peach parting? Nope! Consent is essential to giving a rim job—and, obviously, receiving one, too.
Your bedroom beau isn't a mind reader, which is why if you're interested in rimming, McBride recommends introducing the idea of "tossing the salad" when you’re fully clothed. "It's always better to talk about a new sexual act in a non-sexualized moment," she explains. (It feels less intimidating that way.)
In fact, McBride recommends having this discussion well in advance of getting naked, so your partner has enough time and space to decide whether or not they want to add rimming to the menu.
Once you've found the right moment, it's all up to you on how you approach the topic . According to McBride, coming right out and asking to receive or give a rim job is on the table. For example, you can say "The thought of you eating my ass really turns me on. Does that have any interest to you?" Cheers to being a direct communicator!
But if that's not your style or comfort level, she suggests saying something a bit less, well, blunt. Try: "Oh, my friend was talking about this experience, and she really enjoyed it. It's something I might like to pursue." Or: "I saw an article about rimming. What do you think about trying it?" (I mean, it's the truth...)
The hard truth is that your partner may not want to hop on the peach-licking pony. For whatever reason, they may not have interest in oral-anal sex.
If you’re worried about being shot down (totally normal fear!), Kort recommends sharing that fear with your partner and asking them to withhold judgment until after you explain exactly why you're interested in trying something new.
"I never support a conversation stopping just because one person says that they don't want to do it," he explains. Instead, he suggests coming up with a mutually-desirable solution together. You might ask your partner, "How are we going to negotiate this in a way that respects both of our boundaries?"
You can ask them to explain W-H-Y they are not interested. For instance, "I respect your no, but if you’re open to it, I’d love to hear why you’re so against giving it a try." Or, "Are you comfortable if I ask a follow-up question or two about why?"
Because anal play of any kind isn’t really taught in sex ed., it’s common for people to be afraid of the unknown, or to have misconceptions about anal play being "dirty" or "painful." (FTR: Anal sex shouldn’t be painful .)
If your partner is open to it, you could use this as an opportunity to educate them about the true pleasure potential of the peach. Just remember: No means no. So, the goal here is *not* to get your partner to eventually cave in to your desires (rimming), Kort says. "The goal is to allow you to share your sexual interests with your partner."
If they're not down with rim jobs, the good news is that there are options! They might be okay with watching an erotic movie that features rimming, for example, or talking through a rimming fantasy together.
Or, maybe they’re down to circle your entrance with a ton of silicone lube and their finger. The sensation is similar to rimming, according to Queen. Or, maybe they’re down to let you explore that interest with someone else. You and your partner should communicate your boundaries to one another.
Sadly, anal play is still shrouded in a whole lot of myths and misconceptions. The most pervasive one? That anal play will bring you face-to-face with dung.
Here’s the thing: Assuming the receiver didn’t do a half-ass (heh) wipe job, the risk of coming into contact with poop during analingus is small. Poop, after all, isn’t stored in the anal canal—it simply passes from the colon through the anal canal on the way out of your body, explains Queen.
Still, at the end of the day...a butt's a butt. And considering you've probably spent plenty of QT with your own, you know what it does. So if you're worried about cleanliness or smell, McBride and Kort recommend showering ahead of time. Or to get in the ~mood~, shower together.
While you're there, why not warm up with these tried-and-true shower sex positions?
However you decide to suds up, McBride advises "washing gently with warm water and soap." She also recommends staying far away from any cleansers that are too astringent. They can make your anus more prone to cracking (think: chapped lips) "because some cleansers can actually draw moisture away from the anus and make the tissue more prone to contracting STIs," explains McBride.
Look for body wash or bars labeled "fragrance free" since traditional soaps (meaning the ingredient, not an actual bar of soap) fall into that heavily astringent category.
Don’t hate the messenger, but just like most other sex acts, rimming can transmit sexually transmitted infections.
"Oral transmission of bacterial (e.g. gonorrhea and chlamydia) and viral (e.g. HIV and HPV) STIs can and does happen," explains McBride."If you add other factors, such as the use of certain lubricants, a lowered immune system, microtrauma to the skin or mucous membranes, or an existing STI, the chances increase."
STIs aside, because the risk of poop is higher during oral-anal than during sex acts that don’t involve the butt (duh), the risk of other kinds of infections is higher. Ingesting poop particles—even imperceptible poop particles—can transmit bacteria like e. Coli and shigella , as well as intestinal parasites like giardia . Blegh .
To make things less risky, McBride recommends using a dental dam. ICYDK, dental dams are a thin square, typically made of latex, that you put over the genitalia, tush included. (Polyurethane ones are also available if you're allergic to latex.)
In a pinch? You can also DIY a dental dam by cutting the bottom and top off of an external condom and then cutting it lengthwise to create a square shape, she says.
Pro tip: Rub some water-based lube on and around the anus before covering it with the dam to enhance pleasure, says McBride.
Apparently, giving a rim job is kind of like getting fluoride at the dentist (emphasis on "kind of"). In other words, you don't want to brush your teeth for two hours before or after rimming, according to McBride.
"If you get tiny microtears in your mouth from brushing, that can facilitate STI transmission," she explains, as tears give an entryway to infected cells. (The same applies for regular oral sex , too, btw.)
Sex is like fall in that it’s a time when layers reign supreme. "Layering sensations during play is an awesome way to increase the pleasure for the receiver," says Queen.
There are unlimited ways to add in new and different sensations, including (but not limited to!) nipple clamps , vaginal plugs, hands-free strokers, ball-gags, vaginal fingering, and more.
Queen’s recommendation? Have the receiver touch their front genitals while their partner engages in a lick-a-thon. "More people should touch themselves while being anally stimulated," she says. "It can be extremely erotic and pleasurable, and can help the person being rimmed have an orgasm, if that’s something they want to do."
An on-all-fours position works best for this. But a lifted missionary configuration will suffice, too.
Indeed, adding in a little front genitals is all fun and games (read: orgasm). But word to the wise: Avoid licking back-to-front. If you're a vagina owner, you (hopefully) already know the daily dangers of wiping back to front. In case you don't: UTIs galore .
Welp, same goes for oral-anal contact if you're not using a dental dam. Going back-to-front (and vice-versa) can also transmit certain STIs from one location to another. Yepp. If someone has vaginal gonorrhea, for instance, licking lengthwise from vulva-to-anus can introduce the infectious bacteria to the anal canal, too.
Not to mention: The giver could also get oral gonorrhea. Let this serve as your reminder that before you go cheek-to-cheek (hehe) with someone, it’s a good move to talk about your current STI status, as well what safer sex practices you want to incorporate.
Good news: There is no wrong way to give hiney-head! So long as it feels good to all pleasure-seekers involved, it’s kosher. Still, your first time going to analingus avenue can be intimidating.
Luckily, Kort has a few recs to help you along. First, he says, "The person who's gett
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