What Is Fin Dom
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What is findom? A submissive man explains the fetish
‘Findom is merely another form of escapism for people who struggle with everyday life in this bizarre cash- and self-obsessed modern society,’ he says
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[This article was first published in 2017]
Of all the sexual fetishes in the world, financial domination has perhaps one of the most glamourous images.
Beautiful women are sent money and lavished with expensive gifts by men who seemingly want next-to-nothing in return - it’s all about submitting to the dominant woman and relinquishing control.
Much like physical forms of BDSM, it’s this surrendering of power that is arousing. But in the majority of cases, the dominatrix (domme) and the submissive never meet - it's all done online.
Some financial domination (or findom) relationships consist of one-off payments, others are regimented regular transferrals of money and some men even hand over passwords and total control of their bank accounts to a domme, asking her to devise a minimal budget too.
But what’s the attraction for the men? We asked a self-proclaimed submissive to explain.
“The arousal factor comes from the thought of the domme invading the personal space that is your finances,” Steve* tells The Independent. “People measure their self worth with their money.
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“Financial domination scoops up this notion of human beings and weaponises it as something kinky. It's intimacy, in a very capitalistic and masochistic way,” Steve explains.
He believes that most submissives get into findom due to low self-esteem, and they have an “inability to deal with rejection, humiliation, loneliness, fear of being unwanted and redundant in today’s rapid-paced society.”
According to Steve, when a submissive is discussing the transfer of money with his domme, he enters “the zone” which is “where he is free from all his woes and worries,” and becomes aroused.
“But as soon as that’s over he comes crashing back down to earth with a hole in his wallet and a head full of regret,” Steve says.
“Findom is merely another form of escapism for people who struggle with everyday life in this bizarre cash- and self-obsessed modern society.”
Another reason some men get into findom is purely to talk to a woman one-on-one, and hold her attention. A typical submissive would be a young man under the age of 35, but there are older men into findom too, Steve says.
Most men find their dommes through websites such as findom.com and Twitter, where young women advertise their services.
“All you need is a twitter account, a means of accepting payment, a few selfies of you acting rebellious and defiant and the confidence to hurl a few insults to strangers over the internet,” Steve explains.
He says that findom today is defined by the plethora of young woman bragging aggressively on Twitter, but adds that “there is a stark difference between a financial dominatrix and a mean girl demanding money.
“The former is in fact much much rarer, despite many declaring that they are one.”
True, the top dommes spend years establishing their personas and honing their skills that make men want to send them money - and become aroused doing so.
In recent years, findom has increasingly been viewed as a way to empower women and manipulate weak men, but Steve doesn’t think this is the case.
“Ultimately, a submissive hands over his money to a domme because he wants to use her as a tool to access some emotions that provide him with a chemical high that only comes from feeding his addiction to self destructive behaviour,” he explains.
But of course, there are risks for the submissives too: financial ruin, addiction, loss of property, increasing debt levels, anxiety, psychological and physical harm (mostly through self-torture tasks, according to Steve).
And there’s also the impact on real life personal relationships.
Despite this, Steve believes findom is becoming increasingly mainstream and dommes are going to more and more bizarre lengths to attract the attention of submissive men.
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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Financial domination (also known as money slavery or findom) is a sexual fetish, in particular a practice of dominance and submission, where a submissive (money slave, finsub, paypig, human ATM, or cash piggy) will give gifts and money to a financial dominant (money mistress, findomme, money domme or master).[1]
The relation may often be accompanied by other practices of BDSM and master/slave relationships, like erotic humiliation, but there may be virtually no further intimacy between the individuals. The relationship between the "slave" and the dominant may take place solely via online communication, but it is not uncommon for the "slave" to accompany the dominant while shopping and paying with the submissive's money.[2]
Such a relationship between individuals may be similar to, yet clearly distinguishable from, relationships based on Total Power Exchange. In the latter, the submissive may grant all their money saved and earned to the dominant, in addition to many other aspects of their autonomy, and it is not uncommon for both partners to have an intimate relationship as well. Financial domination can also be distinguished from sugar baby relationships in which a sugar daddy/mama offers gifts and money to the "baby" in return for a relationship, generally without any explicit elements of domination. In financial domination the submissive has no expectation of sexual contact in return for the money, and often there is no physical contact of any kind between the two parties.[3]
Financial domination is a paraphilia stemming from a devotion of financial slavery or to be dominated in a financial way. Many pro-dommes and femdommes found this to be a natural extension for any professional dominatrix who is already being paid for fetish services, and began to exploit it with clients who shared her fetish. Some domme clients were aroused as much by giving money to a dominant woman, as they were by any fetishes they may have been coming to see her for. The dominatrix may also be aroused from being financially worshipped.[4][5][6]
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