What Does Vers Bottom Mean
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What Does Vers Bottom Mean
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If you've scrolled through Grindr, Tinder, or even queer sections of TikTok recently, you'll have seen "top," "bottom," or "verse" in a bio or two.
The popular terms describe sexual preferences in the queer community.
While the terms were originally used to describe the sexual preferences of queer men in the 1970s, more LGBTQ+ people have adopted the terms to talk about what they like in sex.
Top/bottom/verse discourse has grown more visible lately on TikTok, where queer people have been making videos describing the unique struggles of each preference.
It's important to note that each of these categories means something a little different to each person, so no one definition is perfect. Here is a general idea of what it means to be a top, bottom, or verse.
Tops generally prefer to take a more active role in sex by acting as the person who penetrates, gives oral sex, or does other sexual acts. For people with penises, this can mean wanting to be the person penetrating rather than receiving. For people with vaginas , it can mean preferring to give oral sex rather than receive, according to queer publication Autostraddle.
Because queer sex can look many different ways, being a top doesn't necessarily refer to the specifics of how sex is had. Instead, it refers to a power dynamic in which one person is in control and the other person takes the lead.
Within the category of "top," there are subsections that may refer to the specifics of how people like to have sex.
A "stone top" refers to someone who only likes to "give" during sex and not receive. This can mean penetration, oral sex, or other acts and comes from the term "stone butch" which was a common masculine gender expression in lesbian spaces in the 1970s, 80s, and 90s, and is still used today by some people within the community.
"Touch me nots" fall within "stone tops" as they refer to queer people, often transmasculine people or lesbians, who do not like to be touched during sex under any circumstances and instead only like to give.
Bottoms typically like to receive during sex, whether that means oral sex, being penetrated during sex, or other sexual acts. However, like with tops, the specifics of the sex aren't as important as the power dynamic.
Generally, bottoms are people who relinquish control during sex and follow the lead of the person topping them. But that doesn't mean bottoms can't be assertive and active during sex.
"Power bottoms" refer to bottoms who direct their tops exactly how to please them during sex and are very vocal when they are doing it wrong. "Bratty bottoms" are similarly vocal and generally tease the person topping them in a demeaning and playful way.
While some bottoms may be open to topping every so often, there are categories of bottoms who never like to be the person penetrating or giving oral sex. Like stone tops, "stone bottoms" are firm about their boundaries on touching their partners and not like to be the person penetrating or giving oral sex.
Sometimes referred to as "pillow princesses," stone bottoms face the brunt of the jokes in TikTok videos like this one directed at people for specific sexual preferences within the queer community.
People often insinuate stone bottoms are "less gay" or "pretending to be gay" in TikTok videos if they are firm about not wanting to perform sexual acts like oral and penetration on their partners. This kind of harassment in TikTok videos like these is called "bottom shaming."
Verses or switches are what they sound like – people who like to top and bottom interchangeably during sex.
Verse folks are generally less concerned with labeling themselves and their sexual dynamic and more focused on keeping their sexual interactions fluid, though some verses do lean towards the top or bottom side of the spectrum.
According to a 2018 survey by Autostraddle, switches make up over 50% of queer people who answered their call out.
It's crucial to note that while these labels exist, all sexual dynamics between people look different. No two bottoms, switches, or tops are going to look the same and have the same sexual dynamic with their partner.
But all forms of attraction and sexual position preference are equally valid.
( versatile bottom ) Someone who normally is bottom, receptive partner in sex and imagines they are also capable of being a top.
I am a bottom vers looking for a total top
someone who likes to bottom but is willing to top if the other party is wanting
Last night I hooked up with this Vers bottom guy, he had such a great ass and I asked if he was willing to top me . Such a wild night
From Top To Bottom: The Meaning Behind The Most Common Sexual Identifiers
Sheriden Chanel is the senior lifestyle and relationships editor at xoNecole.com, covering all things love, life, beauty, and wellness. She has an affinity for travel, self-care, and anything BTS touches. Keep up with her on social
@sheridenchanel .
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Learning how you identify is a first step to how you see yourself sexually.
Are you a “top,” “bottom,” “switch,” or “vers”? The way you self-identify sexually can help you understand how you see yourself, what you like and what your preferences are during sex. Learning how others identify can also help you understand who they are sexually and how you could potentially connect intimately. In that way, sexual identifiers can act as a roadmap to how you and a potential partner explore sexual compatibility . And while the aforementioned identifiers have roots in 1970s gay male culture, many queer people today have adopted the lingo and applied it to the community as a whole.
If you’re not quite sure what your sexual identifiers are, we’ve got you covered! xoNecole asked sex experts to break down the fundamentals of sexual identifiers, how to find your label, and why you shouldn’t feel pressured to limit how you identify yourself.
Although context can sometimes change, certified sex therapist Shadeen Francis tells xoNecole that “a top is the person doing or giving an action, to a bottom who is to receive or respond to an action,” she says. Sometimes, it’s all about energy or even the preferred power dynamics experienced between two or more people engaging in sex. But, as sex educator Jennifer Eden shares, “Top is not synonymous with dominant and bottom is not synonymous with submissive . You can be a service top or a bossy bottom. Top does not mean masculine and bottom does not mean feminine.”
In queer sex, penetration is not the end all be all when defining sex.
For example, a top can be someone who is doing the giving action of oral sex . A bottom can be someone who prefers to be submissive and on the surrendering side of sex acts. Those two examples aren’t necessarily centered on penetration. Therefore, top, bottom, switch, and vers aren’t labels that are inherently synonymous with sex positions or the act of sex itself.
As previously stated, "switch" and "vers" are two other labels housed underneath the sexual self-identifiers umbrella. Short for "versatile," Francis explains that someone who is vers either prefers or is willing to maintain the "giver and receiver roles within or across experiences.” While some members of the community use the labels "switch" and "vers" interchangeably, there are some who feel that there are differences between the two.
For example, some feel that "vers" strictly relates to the top/bottom dynamic, meaning a person who is "vers" doesn't mind being either a top or a bottom during a sex act. Where being a "switch" can differ is the fact that there is room for more fluidity during a sexual exchange. An example of this would be, starting off a sex act in a bottom role and switching between the act of giver and receiver throughout the act. "Switch" is more commonly used in dynamics between people with vaginas.
Learning how you identify sexually takes exploration . When finding the sexual identifier that speaks most to you, Francis recommends being curious and seeking information in conversation with others–in films, in books, and in music. “Your sexual identity isn’t just a response to your sexual experiences,” she explains, “but how you see yourself as a sexual person. What feels good to you? What would you like to learn more about? What resonates with you? How might you want to present yourself, and with whom?”
And what if top, bottom, vers, or switch feel a little limited to the way you feel sexually or the types of things you’re into? Have no fear, Eden assures that it's commonplace to not identify wholly as one or the other. Like sex, the language you choose to label yourself with has room to be fluid and expansive. “Some people are tops in certain types of play and bottoms in others. Some people are tops with certain partners and bottoms with others,” they share. “Don’t let yourself get locked into a label that doesn’t feel like a perfect fit for you. You may need more than a one-word descriptor and that’s absolutely fine.”
There are also subgenres for tops and bottoms that further clarify sexual preferences and likes. For further sexual self-exploration, Eden recommends the following reads:
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13 Struggles Only Vers Men Understand
For those of you who don't know, being versatile (vers, for short) is a slang term used to describe a gay or bi man who can be either a top or bottom during sex. Being vers in the bedroom is hard for some to comprehend, because people just don't get that the role you play in intercourse isn't limited to a binary, and that you can absolutely appreciate two wildly contrasting (yet wildly appealing) sides of the spectrum.
While being vers is awesome and possible, it definitely does come with its hurdles. From preconceived notions to physical obstacles, here are 13 struggles only vers men understand.
1. Never knowing whether you need to be prepared to bottom or not.
2. Hook-ups assuming since you’ve bottomed before, you’re always a bottom.
3. Hook-ups assuming since you’ve topped before, you’re always a top.
4. Eliminating labels and persuading people you’re neither a vers top nor a vers bottom, but 100% versatile.
5. Being boxed out of a sexual encounter because a man is only looking for one specific position.
6. “But do you prefer to top more or bottom more?”
7. By being the versatile one, you’re often at the mercy of the other man’s position.
8. “So you’re only into flip-f*cking?”
9. Every misconstrued stigma and stereotype a bottom has to deal with, vers men also have to deal with.
10. When guys assume you’re not capable of being a proper bottom/top because you do both.
11. Just because you don’t have an established role in the bedroom, doesn’t mean you don’t have an established role in a relationship.
12. Entering a relationship with someone who is strictly one position never fully satisfies you.
13. People assume you’re versatile because you’re ashamed of being a bottom.
…when in reality you’re very proud to be bottom and equally proud to be a top!
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