What Does A Butt Plug Look Like

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What Does A Butt Plug Look Like
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Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals. 

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Emma Glassman-Hughes
Emma Glassman-Hughes (she/her) is a freelance writer for Cosmopolitan and a part-time editor at the Boston Globe.


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"Once you experience an orgasm with one in, you never want to have an orgasm without one."
Let’s get this out of the way fast: Anal sex isn’t as scary as it seems . All the horror stories about the pain or the…ahem…potential byproducts (yes, sometimes poop comes out) are typically borne of faulty prep and faulty practice. But with the right method—and the right toys!— anal play might just become your new favorite bedroom activity, unlocking new levels of pleasure along the way. Step one? The butt plug .
Butt plugs are sex toys that anyone with an anus, regardless of genitalia or orientation, can use during partner play or solo masturbation . Butt plugs do pretty much exactly what their name suggests: They plug up your butt. If you’ve never experimented with anal play before, you may be wondering why anyone would want to plug their butt. To be fair, it sounds kinda silly. But a butt plug provides anal penetration that stays in place while you pleasure yourself elsewhere, heightening sensation and contributing to stronger orgasms. Who’s silly now?!
Sex and pleasure educator Luna Matatas says the sphincter area has a ton of nerve endings, and anal penetration can be pleasurable and stimulating for any kind of body—especially women and those who were assigned female at birth (AFAB) . “Women and AFAB folks benefit from butt plug stimulation of those nerve endings because it can increase arousal in the nearby erogenous areas like the perineum and vulva,” she explains. “Depending on the shape and size of the butt plug, it can also help maximize hot spots for vaginal penetration by pushing against the back wall of the vagina through the rectum.”
If you have an interest in trying anal sex with a penis or a dildo , Matatas says a butt plug is a great way to “train” your anus for penetration. “Your anal sphincters and tissue need to be trained with gradual penetration or you increase your risk for anal fissures and injury,” she says. “Using butt plugs helps you get to know how your booty reacts to penetration, gets you familiar with what angles or sensations feel good or not, and allows your anus to relax and open.”
But even just with a butt plug, there’s still a good deal of prep work that should be done. San Francisco–based sex expert and therapist Celeste Hirschman , MA, co-founder of the Somatica Method of sex, says it’s necessary to clean your butt plug thoroughly before and after use, in accordance with the toy’s instructions. Also, before inserting the butt plug, you or a partner should warm up the anus with plenty of external stimulation, whether it’s with a finger or a tongue. “Analingus is really good, gentle, and relaxing,” she says, and perfect for getting you in the mood.
To avoid any unwanted surprises, some people douche beforehand. But Matatas warns against this. “Douching with solutions can cause irritation and dry out the delicate anal tissue,” she says. “If you want to flush yourself out, use a small enema bulb and flush it out with warm water over the toilet beforehand. You can also just shower after your last bowel movement. However you feel comfortable.”
Ultimately, Hirschman says, this is anal play we’re talking about here. It’s not going to be perfectly clean, and that’s okay. “Sh*t happens,” she says. “If you’re playing in that area, you have to be ready for that. It’s good to have a conversation [with your partner] like, ‘If this happens, we’re gonna laugh about it and we’re gonna clean the sheets and then we’re gonna move on.’ There has to be a relaxed attitude about that for people to feel comfortable.”
Otherwise, Matatas and Hirschman agree: The most important health and safety tip is to keep butt stuff and vagina stuff completely separate. Toys made for vaginas often don’t have bases, which means they can get stuck inside your body if inserted into the anus. And if you use anal toys in your vagina, you risk contracting a UTI or yeast infection .
Overall, Hirschman says, the thought of anal play may appeal to some women, but one or two bad experiences can easily scare them off. She says even if it’s not that common for women to use butt plugs (only 32 percent of Cosmo readers report using a butt plug despite 82 percent saying they enjoy anal stimulation), the benefits, when done right, are worth the effort.
“There’s a joke among sex therapists that women have anal sex only once,” she says with a laugh. “That’s because sometimes it hurts, but that’s usually because people don’t do it well. So even the ones who are more experimental and who might want to try having something in their ass, they might end up having pain and then avoiding it after that.”
“There’s a lot of anxiety about the butt,” she adds. But if you do it well, anal play can be a life-changing experience.
Read on to hear from eight women about why they love their butt plugs and why you just might, too.

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Your booty deserves only the best — here's how to start using butt plugs, plus some of our faves to try out.
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If you're not familiar with the joy of butt plugs, allow me to introduce you to a versatile toy you can enjoy regardless of gender, orientation, or genitalia. If you have a prostate, butt plugs can stimulate it; if you have a vagina, a butt plug can create incredibly pleasurable pressure on the back vaginal wall. Not to mention that the anus is also surrounded by nerve endings .
Butt plugs are wonderful toys that can help you safely explore new sexual territory . If you've never tried them, or if you're already into anal sex , they can help you switch up your routine while warming up your body for new things. Whatever the reason you're keen to dive into the world of butt plug play, there are a few things you should know for a comfortable, safe, and sexy experience.
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Some sex toys, such as the Wartenberg Pinwheel , have rather cryptic names. Butt plugs, however, do exactly what you'd imagine: They plug up your butt. A butt plug's main duty is to make you feel good: "The anus can be a remarkable source of pleasure, so butt plugs, with a lot of lube, are a great way to loosen up the anus and get something inside of it," says David Ortmann, a psychotherapist and sex therapist .
People often use butt plugs for penetrative anal-sex prep. Remember, unlike the vagina, the rectum doesn't self-lubricate. This is why it's important to warm up your butthole with plenty of lube and smaller objects, such as fingers and butt plugs, before penetrative sex with a strap-on or penis, says sex educator Timaree Schmit .
The key to anal play is relaxation.
Butt plugs are cleverly shaped for their function. They generally have narrow tips that get progressively wider toward the middle and then narrow again to a slim neck at the base so your rectum can contain them comfortably. Since the rectum can act like a vacuum and suck objects inside, a flared bottom , pull cord, or ring prevents a butt plug from getting lost inside you, Ortmann says. (Nobody wants to be the person whose story goes viral for ending in the ER with a butt plug stuck in their bum.)
In addition to choosing a plug with a flared base, it's important to check that your toy is body-safe. Since sex toys are sold as "novelty items," they're more or less unregulated by any federal agency, meaning it's up to you to make sure that materials are safe to put in, on, and around your genitals. Once I opened my lingerie drawer to notice that a rubber vibrator had leaked pink dye everywhere. If unsafe toys can stain my underwear, what else can they harm? As Schmit points out, "Cheaper toys might be made of chemicals that can leach into your body."
Start small — don't let your eyes get bigger than your butthole.
According to the Kinsey Institute , anything that's silicone, borosilicate glass (Pyrex), or stainless steel is a good bet. Schmit suggests beginners select silicone over glass or steel, as silicone has more give and is easier to insert. All three materials are nonporous and can be thoroughly cleaned after each use. Butt plugs made of hard plastics and acrylics, on the other hand, are porous, which means they can become hotbeds of bacteria from your GI tract, which is neither safe nor sexy.
Another butt plug rule of thumb: Start small, and don't let your eyes get bigger than your butthole. "Pick one that looks ludicrously small to you," Ortmann says. "I remember buying my first one and thinking, This is a good medium size. I don't think I got that thing inside of me for another decade." If you're a total beginner, start with the smallest size available and work your way up. After all, you can't return a used butt plug.
Anal sex warm-up is far from the only use for plugs. Some within the BDSM community use them as part of dominance and submission (D/s) play. ("I like to make submissives suck on the butt plug that I'm going to use on them," Ortmann says.) An advanced user may wear a butt plug for several hours, or out in public.
If you have a vagina, the butt plug is also a wonderful way to experience double penetration: Slide one in after applying lube and wear it during vaginal sex with a penis or dildo. You can also simultaneously stimulate your clit with fingers or a vibrator. Many people love receiving oral while they have a butt plug in. That said, you don't need a partner to enjoy butt plugs — they make for excellent masturbation companions. In fact, solo sex is a lovely way to explore anal play. The bottom line is that anal pleasure through butt plugs is something anyone can enjoy.
Again, the rectum doesn't self-lubricate, so you're going to have to help it out. And if you're using a butt plug with multiple partners, practice safer sex by putting a condom on it and using a non-oil-based lube before each use, advises Ortmann. Oil-based lubes, including at-home options such as coconut oil, break down latex , but water- and silicone-based lubes do not.
Here's the thing about silicone lubes, though: They're awesome for anal play because they're thick and tend to last longer than water-based varieties, but silicone breaks down silicone. If you're using a silicone toy, grab a water-based lube. Glass or stainless steel butt plugs work wonderfully with any lubricant. But if you're new to butt plugs, start with silicone, as the material has more give than glass or stainless steel.
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First, don't neglect foreplay. Instead of going straight for the ass, try a few other activities you enjoy, like oral , to get your body turned on and receptive to a new kind of stimulation.
Next, start with something smaller than a plug: Lube up your finger, or ask your partner if you can borrow theirs. Circle the anus with the finger, glide it gently in and out of the anus, then add another finger.
After your butt is comfortable with a couple of fingers, slather your plug in lube and slowly slide it inside you. I've found that inserting a butt plug is easiest when the receiver is bent over in doggy-style position, but everyone is shaped differently, so experiment to find out what works for you.
According to sex and relationship expert Jessica O'Reilly, the key to anal play is relaxation. As she writes in The New Sex Bible: The New Guide to Sexual Love, there are two muscle rings known as the sphincter around the entrance to the anus. You want to be gentle with them when inserting anything into your butt. "Relax, breathe deeply, and bear down slightly with your sphincter muscles as you insert [a toy] for the first time," writes O'Reilly.
To remove a butt plug, gently pull it out while taking slow and steady deep breaths, or have your partner hold the base and slide it out for you. O'Reilly also points out that removal can be easier if you've orgasmed during anal play, as orgasms relax the pelvic floor.
After play, always wash your butt plugs and your hands with warm water and soap. If you have a vagina, avoid transferring any bacteria from the butt to the vulva or vagina, since that can cause infection. (This means you and your partner need to wash your hands before rubbing any of your other genitalia.) You can toss silicone plugs in a dishwasher, Schmit says, and our favorite three nonporous materials — tempered glass, silicone, and stainless steel — can be boiled to disinfect them, provided that they don't contain motors.
That's a decision between you and your butthole, but I do have some recommendations for you. You may want to buy your toy in person at a reputable adult boutique so you can ask questions of the knowledgeable staff. If you don't have access to a good adult shop or are too shy, lazy, or busy to visit a brick-and-mortar store, you can purchase a butt plug online. Here are some of my favorites.
The aptly named Novice is tailored to those who are beginning to explore ass play, but it's so high-quality that people at any experience level will enjoy it. It also vibrates, which can help relax the sphincter muscles and make for easier insertion (and feel fantastic).
This silicone butt plug is the colors of the gender-fluid flag, although anyone can enjoy the classic butt plug design. The flared base ensures that it will stay in place while you play or prepare for anal sex.
This beautiful, geometrically shaped sex toy comes in multiple sizes and colors, including black, blue, pink, and purple. It lives up to its name by fitting snuggly in your bum, and it's also weighted for pleasurable pressure.
If you're looking for a reliable first-time butt plug that can become a regular part of your sex life, try this small black silicone toy. It's sleek, classic, and perfectly kinky. If you're playing with a partner, have them slip their finger in the loop and consensually take control of your experience.
Want to hear a secret about glass sex toys? They're great for temperature play, meaning you can warm them up or cool them down without damaging the material. During the summer, pop this floral plug in the freezer and then into your butt. In the winter, try submerging it in a bowl of warm water for a few moments before playtime. Beware: This may look dainty
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