What An Orgasm Feels Like
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What An Orgasm Feels Like
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Paisley Gilmour
Sex & Relationships Editor
Paisley is sex & relationships editor at Cosmopolitan UK, and covers everything from sex toys, how to masturbate and sex positions, to all things LGBTQ.
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I challenge you to describe, in detail, exactly how an orgasm feels. It's basically impossible - if I were to attempt such a thankless task, I could only say: "It feels like, kind of... oomphnahh". Do you get what I mean?
Luckily, there are 8 other (and a lot more articulate) women to explain that precise moment for me. Cheers pals.
(Clitoral) After a few strokes the whole bottom half of my body becomes extremely relaxed. The pleasure builds up and I feel it coming. Then an explosion of pleasure takes over everything from the waist down. The feeling trickles down through my legs and everything is completely relaxed. [Via]
First you feel it in your inner thighs and it feels warm. Then your can feel the same feeling but warmer and more intense in your lower stomach and the more you try to hold this feeling in, the better it gets. Then snap it spreads out in your whole "downstairs" and it's more twitching and... what can you call it? Physical feeling? And this keeps going like this for about 15 seconds. It's amazing. [Via]
You know when you watch a really suspenseful movie and at some point you realise that your entire body is wound up and tense? And then, when the suspense finally breaks when the bad guy jumps out of the closet or whatever and there is that feeling or tingles and relief. It's kinda like that. But really sexy. [Via]
You know that light-headed feeling? Imagine your whole body feeling like that, with a wave as if your entire body is 'asleep' (like when your foot falls asleep). I feel really sensitive for a while afterward. I have a tonne of energy and I am really excited but then I want to sleep... so I understand when guys just want to sleep! [Via]
It feels warm.. and then it feels really warm. Then everything feels good and its like a wave of awesomeness... then it goes away and everything is sensitive and I need water. [Via]
It is like a warm, tingling wave that starts at your centre and just radiates outward. It can be frustratingly blissful as you start to build and then lose it and then build again and each time you start to climb that mountain it becomes more intense and desperate.
I feel like someone hit the off switch on any cares I might have. It is like being drunk but better. I call it "Sex Drunk" and it is amazing. [Via]
[A clitoral orgasm] feels like really hot, but not unpleasant, water building up into a small tsunami surrounding and building up pressure inside my body, behind my clit.
"It rides its way up my abdomen, spine, and works its way down my extremities, leaving goosebumps in its wake. The waves cause spasmming along their route. [Via]
G-spot: My whole body tightens like a spring, with more pressure building each time it's hit. When the dam bursts, I nearly blackout. With every vaginal spasm, the waves pound over my entire body at once and make me completely lose muscle control. It. Is. Bliss. [Via]
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Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.
Taylor Andrews
Taylor is one of the sex and relationship editors who can tell you exactly which vibrators are worth the splurge , why you’re still dreaming about your ex, and tips on how to have the best sex of your life (including what word you should spell with your hips during cowgirl sex )—oh, and you can follow her on Instagram here .
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“It’s like driving with the windows down and seat warmers on. But sexual. And a thousand times more intense.”
Real talk: Despite how movies , porn , and Netflix's Sex/Life make it seem, more than 75 percent of people with vaginas need more than penetration to orgasm . And what makes things especially tricky is that not every orgasm results in a huge, earth-shattering climax. Some are calmer , while others make you feel like you've stuck a fork in an outlet. The orgasm you might have in any particular situation can vary based on lots of things including intensity, sensation, situation, excitement, and even possible fears or inhibitions.
Now, with any orgasm, you might experience shaky legs, erect nipples , a tightness in or around your vagina , etc.—but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll happen every single time you orgasm. And your orgasm might actually feel different than your friends' orgasms, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself if you’ve got one vocal pal who brings up how they can orgasm vaginally and squirt when those two things haven’t ever really happened for you. Everyone’s body is different, and so is everyone's orgasm response. All that's to say: Orgasms are confusing.
Luckily, the more we talk about how unrealistic is it for many people to orgasm from penetration alone, the better chance more people will have more orgasms, and the world will simply become a better place. It's science, folks. And whether you’ve already orgasmed twice this morning or never have at all , it's helpful to know what the sensation feels like to a variety of people to better pinpoint your own pleasure. That's why we've asked 54 people to explain what their vaginal and/or clitoral orgasm feels like, so we can all get better at getting some. Take note, Netflix .
“It’s an intense tingling pleasure that starts in my clitoris then spreads (somehow slowly and all at once) through my whole body, down to my toes and fingertips.”—Chelsea S., 30
“Euphoria. Complete joy and pleasure building up until you reach the mind-blowing release of endorphins. Clenching to hold onto the feeling until you finally give in and then the best feeling hits.” -Rebecca B., 24
“Honestly the seconds just before it happens are almost painful. It’s like that drop in your stomach from a roller coaster and then all that tension explodes and shoots up the backs of your legs and everywhere else. Then for a while afterward you kind of just throb and pulse because your heart is beating so hard but you’re also so relaxed.”—Shannon N., 29
“It feels like a complete release but my body tenses. I feel myself contracting but for five seconds my brain goes blank, before I feel myself come back down to earth.”—Helen R., 27
"It's like a pot of water that boils over—a slow build with an eventual overflow of intense pleasure and pure bliss."—Zoey Z., 24
“It depends on what point of the orgasm you’re in. The beginning is exciting. You feel anticipation and pleasure that moves through your body at varying speeds and with varying intensity. In the throes of an orgasm, everything is tight and wound up, heightened but with a euphoric edge. At the completion of it all, it’s akin to the moment at the end of a massage—every nerve-ending is soft, every muscle relaxed. There’s a moment of just pure pleasure and peace.”—Amanda S., 34
“Right before you orgasm, it feels like you just can’t get a door open. Then when you orgasm, it’s like the door is flung open and a huge release or bright white light shines in.”—Reileigh T., 24
"An orgasm feels like you are trying to close the clasp on a necklace with long acrylic nails. It takes a while to get there, you struggle and you may scream, but in the end, it is the most satisfying feeling in the world."—Erin D., 24
“It feels like all of my nerve endings are being shocked by an electrical current that builds into a huge release physically and—if I’m in the right headspace—mentally.”—Christina K., 30
“The best orgasms I’ve had last at least one or two minutes when my partner continues a repetitive motion (or I do, if I’m on top). It feels like a rush of relief after being blocked. Sorta like a kinked water hose. The pressure and desperation for release builds and builds until it’s finally set free.”—Emily A., 26
“It starts in the center of my body and then is like a wave outwards to my fingertips and toes. For those 20 seconds or so, it’s pure bliss. When it’s good, I completely forget to breathe, but I don’t feel out of breath. It’s like nothing else matters in those moments, not even the simple act of breathing.”—Lindsay V., 28
“I’d have to describe it as a volcanic eruption or the Big Bang cartoons we used to see as kids. It’s a release of all of this tension/energy and it’s like your whole body has been trying to break down a brick wall for minutes, hours, days, however long and suddenly the wall just crumbles and you’re standing there out of breath and wanting to collapse and take the best nap of your life.”—Stacey T., 28
"An orgasm feels like a tingly release from all the teasing and sexual heat. I have so much control over my life throughout the day that the climax helps my mind and body relax."—Aimee P., 32
“It feels like a warmth that starts in my lower abdomen. From there it’s a slow burn until it reaches the tips of my toes and I push over the edge. Sometimes the moment right before I’m about to climax feels better than the finish itself, but once I get there my body kind of rides the waves until it dies out.”—Kelsey D., 29
“An orgasm feels like a volcano erupting and ice freezing at the same time. Almost like driving with the windows down and seat warmers on. But sexual. And 1000x more intense.”—Emme R., 29
“For me, an orgasm is a psychological and a physical experience. In my mind, it’s like I’ve been holding my breath and can finally exhale. This exhale is an intimate release that’s warm and comforting and invigorating Physically, I feel all my muscles contracting. When I finally climax my body is refreshed and my muscles, which were tightening throughout arousal, are finally loose.”—Nadège C., 30
“To me, an orgasm feels like really truly like letting go. It’s a rush like, whew , and then any and all tension I had disappears and I'm ready to either take on the day or get the best night of sleep ever.”—Sierra T., 24
“It feels like all the energy centers of my body are activated at once and I can feel an intense tension simultaneously in my brain and my limbs and whole body, sound coming through my throat. It’s a huge release.”—Brittany D.
“For me, an orgasm starts in the peripheral of my body, ie. the tips of my fingers, the inside of my knees, the tips of my toes, the top of my head. These body parts all begin to vibrate and hum with electricity, as the sensation then envelops my core and pulses through my stomach, chest and thighs. Finally the sensation crescendos with a full release of tension, stress and pain, then leaves you feeling as though there are thousands of tiny effervescent bubbles slowly gliding across your skin.”—Kaleah A., 33
“There’s nothing else in the world like it. It’s the overwhelming feeling of what you’d imagine the core of a volcano feels before fully erupting. It’s that sense of indescribable and pure emotion that once released, makes you feel free and high on life.”—Violet O., 32
“My orgasm feels as if I'm a volcano in human form, like I'm slowly heating up and building up various feel-good sensations. When I reach my peak, I erupt and release all of those sensations.” —Mitanette C., 35
“Reaching orgasm is like climbing a tall mountain. I climb and climb, the sensation of pleasure growing and building on itself, until finally I go over the peak and slide joyously, breathlessly to the bottom.”—Ali W., 31
“It feels like an eruption you have no control over. For me, the climax is a lot longer than the actual orgasm. The build up feels like I'm running out of air in a good way, and longing for relief. The last seconds before I finish feels a bit like I'm going to wet myself. Sorry if that sounds gross! But my best orgasms feel that way.”—Roxanne C*., 26
“To me it feels like the release of tension, kind of like if you could cram the relaxing feeling of a massage that works a sore joint into nanoseconds. It’s the intensity of the feeling in such a short period of time that makes it so special.” —Jordan G.*,28
"It feels like your vagina is squeezing and relaxing all at the same time. It's truly a sensation you can't really describe, but I imagine it to be like squeezing a kegel ball and then releasing it." —Ashley N., 34
"This is going to sound a little strange, but bear with me. You know that feeling when you've been holding in your pee for like 20 minutes and it feels almost like a tickling sensation? That's what an orgasm feels like...but more intense." —Michelle A., 21
“It feels like I have an electrical current running directly through my vagina. It’s just this crazy moment where every single cell is screaming Yes! ” — Emily G., 22
“It feels like you’re on a roller coaster and you’re finally at the top, and then you feel that stomach drop. The anticipation and buildup ends, so you just feel a smooth release. It feels cleansing, almost like the warm feeling you get after taking a few deep breaths.” —Jen F., 24
“It feels like crying, sneezing, and laughing all at the same time.” —Katherine L., 22
“I picture it kind of like a waterfall bursting over a cliff when it happens. Even if that does sound a little like peeing. But it’s this intense pressure that eventually gets released, and it feels incredible.” — Suzanne T., 20
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It’s known for being elusive but “unmistakeable” – so if you’re wondering what it feels like, you’re doing it wrong, says Nadia Bokody.
Since I first started writing about sex, women have been asking the same question: “How do I know if I’ve had an orgasm?”
It’s a query that’s far more common than you might think.
In fact, it’s estimated around 15 per cent of vulva owners have never reached climax. And given the shame and mystery surrounding female pleasure, my guess is the real number is higher.
Though I’m an outspoken advocate of not making sex goal-oriented (that is, having sex that isn’t focused around achieving an orgasm), I’m deeply troubled by this statistic. Largely because it speaks to a wider issue within our culture when it comes to women’s body autonomy.
It’s no coincidence there aren’t any lessons on the clitoris in sex ed, or that its true anatomy was only discovered as recently as a decade ago – many years after the intricate details of the penis were well known. In fact, the researchers who built the first 3D model of the clitoral structure weren’t even properly funded for their work.
‘I see stars and forget where I am’
With 8000 nerve endings (far more than the end of the penis) and roots we now know run deep into the vagina and sit flush with the G-spot, the clitoris has the ability to deliver life-changing pleasure. Or, as one woman in an informal survey I ran on Instagram put it: “The most delicious release of ecstasy. I see stars and forget where I am.”
It’s additionally the only structure in the human body with the exclusive purpose of delivering pleasure, and the key to the ‘Big Oh’ for roughly two-thirds of women. So powerful is the euphoria it can produce, academic and author Naomi Wolf famously referred to the chemicals released in the brain after female orgasm as the “ultimate feminist neurotransmitters”.
Which makes sense, given women who regularly orgasm are typically more confident, focused and sexually assertive.
It also offers a possible explanation as to why so little emphasis has been placed on the female orgasm throughout history.
Sex education acknowledges male pleasure while completely censoring female pleasure from the discussion. Porn too, views sex through the male gaze – one in which women act as conduits for men’s orgasms.
Women are cautioned from being sexual; warned we’ll be deemed “easy”, “used up” and “not wife material” (though, confusingly, labelled “prudes” when we reject men’s sexual advances) and girls are regularly told to close their legs and “save” themselves for the right guy.
Female pleasure has been so routinely demonised, Freud even once hypothesised women who masturbated were suffering from a form of neurosis.
In suppressing information around female sexuality and treating women’s bodies as objects that exist for the pleasure of men, we’ve succeeded not only in sexually disenfranchising women, but in brainwashing ourselves into believing the female orgasm is elusive and complicated.
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