What A Squirt
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What A Squirt
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If you watch a decent amount of porn or travel in circles that talk about orgasms a lot you might’ve heard a thing or two about ejaculation or “squirting” that can sometimes when a vagina owner orgasms .
Squirting over the years has gone from a taboo topic to a sought after bedroom experience for some people. A big reason many people used to feel more ashamed or less excited about the idea of squirting when they orgasm is because squirting (also sometimes called “female ejaculation,” though not everyone with a vulva identifies as female) just hasn’t been discussed and understood in the way ejaculation for people with a penis has.
Dr. Michael Ingber, a physician who has done research on the subject of squirting and is board-certified in urology and female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery, tells SheKnows that squirting is simply when the person’s ejaculation fluid comes from the urethra.
Similar to penises, vulvas have “a bit of tissue at the junction of the urethra similar to the prostate, which is near the bladder,” he says. This tissue can “squirt” fluid into the urethra during sex or orgasm.
While some people with vulvas expel fluid at the time of orgasm, there is also a condition known as “coital incontinence,” which is different. Coital incontinence is when there’s a large explosion of urine at orgasm, Ingber explains. This is typically something people seek medical assistance with.
When someone with a vulva squirts during orgasm, there is prostatic-specific antigen (PSA) in the fluid. PSA is also “the protein produced in men’s prostate gland,” Ingber says.
Ingber says vulvar ejaculation and squirting are essentially the same thing, although there has been much debate on the subject. While some people with vulvas have a small amount of milky-white discharge after orgasm (known as ejaculate), some expel enough fluid that it’s equivalent to wetting the bed.
Ingber conducted an informational survey and found about 10 percent of people with a vulva squirt during orgasm . He also added that while some people enjoy this experience, others are annoyed by it or find it embarrassing or inconvenient.
A person’s ability to squirt depends on having the proper glands, as some people with a vulva simply “don’t have enough fluid within the gland,” Ingber notes. While there are procedures to fix squirting for those who don’t like it, Ingber says there has been no proof someone who doesn’t do it can teach their body to do. He adds, “it seems to be a natural phenomenon not everyone can do.”
The important thing to remember is whatever your body does during an orgasm is natural, and there should be no shame attached to it. Climaxing is an amazing experience to have on your own or share with a partner, and whether you have a vulva or a penis, the more we understand the way our body works, the more pleasurable the encounter . No one should feel ashamed while having an orgasm ( or not ) for any reason.
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I try to be as open as possible when it comes to sex and celebrating the body, but in all honesty, I’d be lying if I said some things don’t still feel taboo. For some reason, I’ve noticed that lots of my friends place squirting in the category of things-that-go-unmentioned—and given that all cis women have the physical ability to squirt, I can’t imagine why. Squirting, or ejaculating, just requires the pushing of the right “buttons” to make it happen. But what is squirting , exactly?
Rather than sit back and wonder Carrie Bradshaw-style, I turned to a pro for some answers: Marissa Nelson, LMFT, certified sex therapist. “Female ejaculation is normal,” says Nelson. “Some women already ejaculate, some haven’t learned how, and some hold back to prevent themselves from doing it.” That’s right—if you haven’t squirted before, it could be because you’ve never tried, or have never lost enough inhibition to let it happen. Why deprive yourself of something that feels so good ? Granted, you might not know how to make it happen, or even where to start. That said, there’s nothing wrong with learning something new in the bedroom.
If 2020 is the year you finally explore squirting (or, if you’ve been squirting for years and just want to know more about what’s going on down below) you’ve come to the right place. Read on for a few more helpful facts about squirting, and get ready for the most explosive orgasms of your life. You know what they say: Viva la squirt!
Contrary to what you may have heard, the fluid that women release when they ejaculate is not urine. “F emale ejaculate is a watery liquid, either clear or milky, that comes from the female prostate glands and is released through the urethra, the same hole you pee out of,” says Nelson. “But it doesn’t smell or look like urine at all,” she insists.
While squirting itself is entirely different than urinating, it’s not unheard of for a woman who squirts to pee—or at least feel like she has to pee—at the same time. “T he sensation to pee during G-spot stimulation is very normal, since the tissue around your urethra is flooded with blood and the tissue contracts and presses against your bladder,” says Nelson. “If you’d rather not urinate—or if you want to be able to tell the difference between peeing and squirting— take a quick pee break and then continue. If you still have the strong urge to pee in the first couple of minutes after you emptied your bladder, you can be sure that it’s ejaculate, not urine, that’s going to come out.”
If you want to up your odds of squirting, there’s a specific area down there that you should focus on: Your G-spot. “ Most women who ejaculate do so as a result of touching there,” says Nelson. “The G-spot swells when aroused, so it’s best to try to go to work on it when you’re already aroused from foreplay or clitoral stimulation .” Refresher course: Your G-spot is located two to three inches into the vagina, close to the front of the vaginal wall, and feels like a spongy, raised bump or ridge.
Because some women associate the feeling before ejaculation with urinating, or because they might be worried about what’s going to come out, they may be hindering their capacity to squirt—even unconsciously. Pro tip: Pee before having sex, and after that, just focus on orgasm , no matter what kind of pressure you feel in your abdomen. “F or most women who ejaculate, orgasm and ejaculation happen at the same time,” says Nelson. “Some women can ejaculate before or after orgasm, or even ejaculate without having an orgasm—and, of course, lots of women orgasm without ejaculating—so it really varies from woman to woman, and in the end, it’s all normal.” And if you’re worried about how much is going to come out of you, there’s no real way to predict it. It can be anything from a few drops to a cup or two of liquid, says Nelson, so if you’re really serious about making it happen, you might want to have a towel or tissues handy (or do it on laundry day).
You don’t need a partner to make your squirting fantasy come true. You just need to know how to touch the G-spot right, says Nelson. “ Stimulate the G-spot using a come-hither finger motion with one or two fingers,” she says. “When you feel that telltale urge to pee, take whatever you’re using to touch yourself out so that the ejaculate can flow out when you squirt.” As for the most effective things to make that happen: “The G- spot can best be reached by direct stimulation from a penis or a partner’s finger, fingering yourself, or using a toy designed for G-spot access.”
A version of this article originally appeared in November 2016.
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