Wedding Ring Swingers

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Wedding Ring Swingers
1 Q: Why you should wear a black ring on your right hand?
A: In an effort to help you discretely identify others in the swinging lifestyle,
we suggest wearing a black ring on the right hand whenever you're open
to meeting others in the lifestyle.

A: Wear your black ring on your right hand if you are out and open to meet other swingers. If someone wearing a black ring on their right hand approaches you, start a conversation with them. “I see you're wearing a black ring on your right hand. Maybe we are in the same club.”

3 Q: Does it matter what finger I wear my black ring?
A: You can wear your black ring on any finger, but please avoid wearing it
on the middle one. (Wearing a black ring on your right hand, middle finger is typically a symbol of asexuality.

4 Q: Do I have to wear my black ring all the time?
A: Absolutely not! Only when you want other swingers to recognize you.
5 Q: I’m open about being a Swinger, why should I get a ring?
A: Even though you are open, not everyone feels comfortable approaching couples or singles in a public. By wearing the Swinger Ring, you are letting these couples or singles know that they can approach you.

6 Q: Does wearing the Swinger Ring mean I’m a full swap, soft swap, bi, straight, etc.?
A: No, it just means you’re a Swinger.
7 Q: Does wearing the Swinger Ring mean you are Polyamorous?
A: Not necessarily, it means you’re a Swinger. You may be a Swinger and Polyamorous, but the Ringer is not meant to be a symbol for Polyamory.

8 Q: How do I know what size of Ring I wear?
A: You can either go to a local jeweler and they can determine what size you are or you can download the paper Ring Sizer. (The paper Ring Sizer may not be accurate as all printers are different.)

9 Q: Can I exchange my Ring for another size?
A: Absolutely, however, you will be responsible for the shipping charges both ways. Please Contact Us for specific instructions.

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For this installment of our weekly interview series, Love, Actually , about the reality of women's sex lives, we spoke with Vera (a pseudonym), a married woman who unexpectedly got into swinging during a tenth-anniversary cruise.
Last spring my husband and I were looking for an adults-only vacation to celebrate our tenth anniversary. I came across a "clothing optional lifestyle takeover cruise." The materials talked about dance parties, clothing-optional areas, and playrooms, including a dungeon. We assumed "lifestyle" meant BDSM. It was only after we'd booked the trip that we realized it meant swingers. We figured we could still go, even though we didn't plan to participate.
Leading up to the cruise, though, we got to know some of the other couples online and began to change our minds. It started with talk of me being interested in playing with other women and evolved into "Let's just go for it and enjoy all this cruise has to offer."
We really didn't know what to expect when we got there, and were definitely surprised. Some people were completely nude, some just topless, some in tiny outfits, and some fully clothed. We kept our swimsuits on. No one seemed to mind, or even notice, what anyone else was or wasn't wearing.
The first evening there was a toga/gods/goddesses party. My husband dressed as a Roman gladiator and I made a toga out of a sheer purple fabric. We danced with a couple we'd chatted with online, who were in white togas. We didn't get naked, but there was some flashing and roaming hands. My husband and I are "full swap," which means that we are okay with penetrative sex with other people, but their rules were stricter than ours.. They do not kiss or have penetrative sex with others.
After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour outdoor play area. There were beds spaced about every six feet with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman's hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my husband. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me.
At one point my husband went to the restroom. While he was gone, the other guy went down on his wife while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. When my husband came back, he watched for a minute, then joined us.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things.
After a little while, I started giving my husband head while the other couple had sex. He'd had a lot to drink and to his dismay wasn't getting hard. We tried a couple times, but it wasn't going to happen. We played a little while the other couple finished up, and then we all went to the hot tubs.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things. Throughout the week, we had two more play sessions with other couples, including a six-way group session with the same couple from the first night.
There has to be some physical attraction when we decide who to play with, but the connection we form with a couple is the bigger factor. We want to play with people who are fun and stable in their relationship. We have a very low tolerance for drama. Since we play only as a couple, there has to be a four-way match in terms of attraction.
One day we were talking to a couple and the woman stripped down to nothing but a smile and just kept on chatting. This was very awkward for us, but we tried not to let it show. Ten minutes later, her husband stripped down too. He suggested that we do the same, but we declined. He asked us about making a playdate, and I told him that I didn't think we had the four-way match we needed for us to be comfortable. For the rest of the week she was cordial when we'd run into them, but he wouldn't even say hello to us. I felt bad for possibly leading him on. Unfortunately, that's the way it goes sometimes.
Before the trip, I thought swingers were people who would have sex with any random person. But those we've met want the same thing that we want: friendship with like-minded couples, and if we happen to have fun in sexual ways from time to time, that's a bonus.
Now we play with others about once a month. Unfortunately, there is not a single lifestyle club in the entire state where we live. We play only as a couple and only together in the same room. We like to be within reach so we can play and talk to each other at the same time. It's about group play, not just swapping partners.
Condoms are a must. We both have veto power, meaning that if there is a man I want to play with, my hubby can say no at any time for any reason and it will not happen, whether he's not comfortable with the guy or isn't interested in playing with his wife. We rarely play at our house, but if we do it is only with a couple we know really well, and never in our bed-that is only for us.
We talk to several couples we met on the cruise on a weekly basis. One we've become really good friends with, and we get together often with our kids. We do the same things other families do but sometimes, after the kids are in bed, we lock the door and get naked. Sometimes we start with a dinner date and drinks, or just hang out with the kids until they're all asleep. We might play a game like sexy dice or watch a movie with sexual undertones.
We haven't had a successful session yet with another couple where we both had penetrative sex. My husband overthinks it and can't maintain an erection. We have talked to several other men in the lifestyle and they all said that it is very common in the beginning, especially if you've been exclusively with your partner for a long time.
Neither of us have any romantic feelings for our play partners at all, but we do see them as friends. There are definitely people we are attracted to, both mentally and physically, but romance and love are just for us.
Other than the couple that we said no to on the cruise, no one has ever made us uncomfortable. We have been asked to do things that we have rules against. For example, there is a couple who generally play separately, but we play only as a couple. We've made this clear to them. We still talk to them and joke around; we just know that we won't be play partners and that's okay.
Swinging has helped our sex life, because after a night of playing with others we always come back and talk about the experience and have really hot sex with each other during the conversation. I don't know if we will stay in the lifestyle forever, but we are definitely having fun for now.
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When you venture out into the real life swinging lifestyle, it can be a bit hard staying in sync with your special someone. You will be meeting plenty of new people and encountering plenty of first time experiences. So there is a good chance one of you might not always feel comfortable or happy. Most swingers don’t want to blurt their true feeling out loud for others to hear. So how does a couple stay connected with each other? This is where secret swinger codes & signs come to the rescue.
These are the subtle ways a couple can communicate privately with each other while they are surrounded by other people without exposing their feelings to everyone in the room. Many swinger couples like to have a few signals and/or codewords to indicate different things like “I’m happy, let’s proceed” or “I’m not comfortable, want to leave ASAP.” Secret signals are a great tool couples can use to communicate at all times and make swinging experiences happy & fun rather than confusing and awkward.
In general, you want to pick things that will be completely obvious to you but not noticeable to others. You want to make your signals super simple and easy to remember because if you can’t remember them, they aren’t really useful. Make sure to talk this over with your partner and agree on what you both want to use. It is very smart to remind yourselves the signals and codes are before each date, party or swinger club visit . Here are some examples that you can use or modify to your own preferences.
Here are four common types of messages swinging couples like to have a secret way to communicate – 1) All good, open to play, 2) Unhappy, want to leave, 3) Indifferent, up to you, 4) Happy, not ready yet for physical fun.
You can pick other messages to assign secret codes & signals but it makes it harder and more likely that a miscommunication will happen.  What else would you want to communicate? 5) You’re getting drunk, stop the alcohol, 6) you’re talking too loud, vanilla people are listening in. Honestly ,it is wiser to use fewer messages. Keeping it simple and easy makes it is less likely for a mistake to happen. You don’t want to be arguing over mistaken signals when reconnecting after swinging .
Asking for a drink you hate – For example, if you never drink beer and you ask your significant other to order you a beer at the bar, that could be a great way to communicate that you do not feel a connection and would like to make a graceful exit.  You could assign different sexy drinks to mean different things. For example, asking for “tequila shots” could be a way to secretly communicate with your partner that you are happy & open to playing with your new swinger friends.
Cities/Places – You could assign different cities to mean different secret messages. Have you ever had a horrible trip like an 8 hour airport delay in Detroit? “Detroit” could be your code that it’s bad and you need to bail ASAP. Mentioning “Sydney” could be your secret message that you are open to going Down Under & playing with them. This works best when you pick less popular cities that aren’t likely to pop-up in regular conversations so you won’t accidentally use your secret city codeword when you aren’t intending to use it. Since swingers often talk about visiting Desire Resorts or Hedo, best not to pick those places.
People – We all have people who we love & find sexy and other people who are headaches in our lives. You can pick people and assign them different meanings. Preferably the people you pick do not have common names so you won’t accidentally mention your secret person code at the wrong time. For example, you might repurpose your boss named Edmund to be the secret code for “unhappy, need to bail out”. Maybe you have a crush on a celebrity like Kate Hudson, so mentioning Kate Hudson being in a new movie could be your secret way to signal “all good, ready to play”.
Food – You both know the foods and flavors that you love and hate so it could be easy for you to remember their secret meanings. Maybe you love cherries, so asking for “cherry vodka” or talking about your favorite cherry dessert at the restaurant could be how you secretly communicate “all happy, ready to play”. Maybe you hate tomatoes so asking for a Bloody Mary drink or mentioning how some wall color looks like a ripe tomato could be your secret way of saying “no thanks, let’s leave now”.
Appointment Times – This little trick allows you to rate the moment on a scale of 1-10. When talking with your partner, you can remind them that some upcoming appointment was moved to 1pm to signal “unhappy, need to leave asap” or you could say its at 9am aka “having an awesome time”. You can call it an appointment or when the babysitter needs to leave or whatever you like to have an excuse to mention a time. This also gives your partner a chance to respond with how they feel. When you mention your appointment time, they could respond that they thought the appointment was moved to 3pm to signal “not having fun, but can linger”.
If it’s super loud or the couple you just met won’t stop talking & you’re not able to work any codewords into the conversation, some visual or physical signals could become communication lifesavers.
Rings/Jewelry – This can be a good way to visually signal to your partner different messages. Taking off your wedding ring and putting it on the other hand could mean “happy & ready to swap”. If you leave the ring on your finger but keep spinning it around, that could mean you are “not happy and want to leave”. Bracelets and cocktail rings also work well. Just make sure whatever you pick is easy for your partner to notice.
Pinching/Scratching – This is a great way to signal your intentions because it is more likely to grab your special someone’s attention. Pinching the back of your partner wouldn’t be noticed by the other couple but would be easily felt by your partner to signal you want out of the situation. Lightly scratching their arm or hand could be how you signal the opposite – that it’s all good. (Besides, it’s always nice to have an excuse to touch each other.)
Rubbing – Soft petting or rubbing is another tactile signal that is easy to fly under the radar and not be noticed by others. You could rub your partner’s back. Swiping across from shoulder to shoulder is like shaking your head and could be how you secretly say no. Rubbing straight up & down their spine is like nodding your head so it could be how you secretly signal “yes, I like them”. This signal is not a good idea if you are in the habit of absentmindedly rubbing your partner’s back during casual conversations.
Special Gum/Candy – You could pack different breath mints or candy in your swinger play bag or purse. If you offer your partner a cinnamon breath mint that could be your secret way of saying “this is hot, let’s play” or if you offer a cool peppermint candy it could be your way to signal “no connection, let’s go home”.
Bathroom Texting – If the secret signals aren’t working, another option is to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. While in the bathroom, you could secretly text a message to your partner. This is a good way to discreetly communicate more detailed information. You could also take a more proactive approach and make up a story when you come back from the bathroom like saying the babysitter texted and your kid isn’t feeling well so you need to leave early.
Notice Their Body Language  – You are probably good at reading your partner’s subtle body language so use those skills to help you figure out how they feel before they even try to signal you. Many couples find that the longer they are in the swinging lifestyle they more tuned in they become to each other. Be careful not to be become too engrossed with your new friends so you can pay attention to your partner and read their subtle body language signs.
Step Aside – It’s totally fine to just be honest and say you need a moment to step aside and check in with your partner. We are all adults, and we all understand that good swinging only happens when there is a four way connection and everyone is physically up to playing. If there isn’t a four way connection or someone has too much to drink or something else happens, there isn’t going to be sexy play. Most swinging couples are totally fine with you stepping aside for a private chat because while you are away it will give them a chanc
Ssbbw Sophia Starr
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