We Love Tits
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We Love Tits
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I am a human male that enjoys consuming meals consisting of all five food groups and fulfilling every level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
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1. They can make a boring sweater amazing. Oh, you think you're just throwing on some old, red sweater? Maybe if you were a guy. Boobs make sweaters sexy.
2. They make for great pillows. The major difference between boobs and pillows is we don't want to put our penis between two pillows. And that is a major difference.
3. They're hypnotic. Jiggling boobs are never not watchable.
4. They fit perfectly in his hand. There's no such thing as too big or too small.
5. They change shape. Are you bending over? Are you lying on your back? Are you standing? There are so many different ways to experience boobs, and it's never the same thing twice.
6. Cleavage. You could be wearing a garbage bag and he'd think it's a sexy look if he can see some cleavage.
7. They complement each other. There's something pleasing about boobs coming in a pair.
8. We don't have them. Sure, we love butts too, but we have those. Not having boobs makes them that much more interesting.
9. Getting them pressed against us when we hug. You know how two guys pretty much never hug? We'd hug each other all the time if we had boobs.
10. They're boobs. We don't have any real definitive reason why we love boobs so much. They are boobs. Why does the sun rise and set? Why does the wind blow?
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Why are heterosexual men so fascinated by women's breasts that we sometimes act as if the breasts are the seat of the soul?
Director, Center for Translational Social Neuroscience
Sep 25, 2012, 11:21 AM EDT | Updated Aug 1, 2014
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
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Director, Center for Translational Social Neuroscience
Jokes about breasts, and men looking at breasts, are such a comedy staple they've become a kind of go-to cliché. How many times have we seen a man talking to a curvaceous woman only to have her point to her own eyes and say "Hey, buddy, up here!"? It's funny -- or, at least, it was funny the first dozen times we saw it -- because it's true. The male eye does have a way of drifting south. But why? Why are heterosexual men so fascinated by women's breasts that we sometimes act as if the breasts are the seat of the soul? Well, we happen to be heterosexual men. We also happen to be men interested in biology -- one of us, Larry, is one of the world's leading experts in the neuroscience of social bonding. So we've been thinking about this, and, in our new book, The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction , we propose an answer. Biologically speaking, this human male breast obsession is pretty weird. Men are the only male mammals fascinated by breasts in a sexual context. Women are the only female mammals whose breasts become enlarged at puberty, independent of pregnancy. We are also the only species in which males caress, massage and even orally stimulate the female breasts during foreplay and sex. Women do seem to enjoy the attention, at least at the right moments. When Roy Levin, of the University of Sheffield, and Cindy Meston, of the University of Texas, polled 301 people -- including 153 women -- they found that stimulating the breasts or nipples enhanced sexual arousal in about 82 percent of the women . Nearly 60 percent explicitly asked to have their nipples touched. Men are generally pretty happy to oblige. As the success of Hooters, "men's" magazines, a kajillion websites, and about 10,000 years of art tell us, men are extremely drawn to breasts, and not because boys learn on the playground that breasts are something that they should be interested in. It's biological and deeply engrained in our brain. In fact, research indicates that when we're confronted with breasts, or even breast-related stimuli, like bras, we'll start making bad decisions (and not just to eat at Hooters). For example, in one study, men were offered money payouts. They could have a few Euros right away, or, if they agreed to wait a few days, more Euros later. In this version of a classic "delayed gratification" (also called intertemporal choice by behavioral economists) experiment, some men watched videos of pastoral scenes while others watched videos of attractive women with lots of skin exposed running in slo-mo, "Baywatch" style. The men who watched the women's breasts doing what women's breasts do opted for the smaller-sooner payouts significantly more often then men who watched the pastoral scene. This likely indicates that parts of their brains associated with "reward," the pleasure centers, and the sites of goal-directed motivation, were shouting down the reasoning centers of their brains, primarily the pre-frontal cortex. Neurochemicals were activating those reward and motivational circuits to drive men toward taking the short money. So breasts are mighty tempting. But what purpose could this possibly serve? Some evolutionary biologists have suggested that full breasts store needed fat, which, in turn, signals to a man that a woman is in good health and therefore a top-notch prospect to bear and raise children. But men aren't known for being particularly choosy about sex partners. After all, sperm is cheap. Since we don't get pregnant, and bear children, it doesn't cost us much to spread it around. If the main goal of sex -- evolutionarily speaking -- is to pass along one's genes, it would make more sense to have sex with as many women as possible, regardless of whether or not they looked like last month's Playmate. Another hypothesis is based on the idea that most primates have sex with the male entering from behind. This may explain why some female monkeys display elaborate rear-end advertising. In humans, goes the argument, breasts became larger to mimic the contours of a woman's rear. We think both of these explanations are bunk! Rather, there's only one neurological explanation, and it has to do with brain mechanisms that promote the powerful bond of a mother to her infant. When a woman gives birth, her newborn will engage in some pretty elaborate manipulations of its mother's breasts. This stimulation sends signals along nerves and into the brain. There, the signals trigger the release of a neurochemical called oxytocin from the brain's hypothalamus. This oxytocin release eventually stimulates smooth muscles in a woman's breasts to eject milk, making it available to her nursing baby. But oxytocin release has other effects, too. When released at the baby's instigation, the attention of the mother focuses on her baby. The infant becomes the most important thing in the world. Oxytocin, acting in concert with dopamine, also helps imprint the newborn's face, smell and sounds in the mother's reward circuitry, making nursing and nurturing a feel-good experience, motivating her to keep doing it and forging the mother-infant bond. This bond is not only the most beautiful of all social bonds, it can also be the most enduring, lasting a lifetime. Another human oddity is that we're among the very rare animals that have sex face-to-face, looking into each other's eyes. We believe this quirk of human sexuality has evolved to exploit the ancient mother-infant bonding brain circuitry as a way to help form bonds between lovers. When a partner touches, massages or nibbles a woman's breasts, it sparks the same series of brain events as nursing. Oxytocin focuses the brain's attention to the partner's face, smell, and voice. The combination of oxytocin release from breast stimulation, and the surge of dopamine from the excitement of foreplay and face-to-face sex, help create an association of the lover's face and eyes with the pleasurable feelings, building a bond in the women's brain. So joke all you want, but our fascination with your breasts, far from being creepy, is an unconscious evolutionary drive prompting us to activate powerful bonding circuits that help create a loving, nurturing bond. For more, including the male side of this equation, see our book, "The Chemistry Between Us."
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Your breasts called, and they gave us this itinerary
Let’s take a second to appreciate the wonder that is your chest. Seriously. Big or small or in between, your boobs are sexy, functional, and make you look pretty damn great in a bikini. So instead of just coexisting with your girls, why not get to know them a little better? We rounded up 31 fun, silly, and smart ways to have a blast with your boobs. We promise, you’ll be besties before you know it.
Dress them up.
The best lingerie can take your pair from cute to Christina Hendricks (OK, not really, but you get the point). Find the sexiest style for your shape and don it under everything from an LBD to your work clothes. Just think of it as a sexy secret between you and your girls.
Get them wet.
We’re not talking wet T-shirt contest—though that’s an option, too. Hot water brings your blood to the surface and raises your body temp, both of which make your skin super sensitive to the touch.
Lather them up.
Speaking of showers, here’s another reason to hop in right now : dry skin irritates your breasts (and makes them less fun to play with), so find a moisturizing body wash that will treat them right. Pick your favorite and slather it on.
Give ‘em new nicknames.
Kate Upton reportedly calls hers “The Ladies,” but you can do better than that.
Take them shopping.
When was the last time you hit the dressing room with just your breasts in mind? Yeah, that’s what we thought. Go try on a few a style that makes your décolletage look amazing .
Opt for air drying.
Instead of toweling off post-shower, let your girls drip dry for a change. You’ll save them from towel-related irritation, and feel a whole lot sexier getting ready. (Bonus points if you’ve got a partner hanging around who’ll enjoy the freebie peep show!)
Bring the heat.
Another bonus to giving them free range in the morning? You can blast them with a little warm air while blow drying your hair. Seriously, you have to feel it to appreciate it.
Give them a boost.
OK, so you can’t actually make them bigger with exercise, but you can make them appear perkier. Try this bust-enhancing workout to tone the muscles that lie underneath.
Neglect the nipple—just for a minute.
Turns out, your nipples aren’t even the most sensitive part of your breasts; the area above your areola (between 10 and 2 o’clock) is actually much more mmm -inducing. Tease this spot for instant pleasure, especially when you’re getting ready to get busy.
...Or don’t.
Love your nipples? Then forget neglecting them and spoil them! Caress them, have your partner stimulate them, or dress them up in pasties just for fun.
Let them free.
Every once in a while (like that Sunday when your to-do list is just brunch and binge-watching Netflix) give yourself a free pass to skip the boulder holder. Just make sure your clothes keep everything under wraps.
Have a nipplegasm.
Yes—they exist ( read all about ‘em here ), and you could have one tonight. What are you waiting for?
Show them off.
Pull off a plunging neckline without having a wardrobe malfunction—we dare you. Here’s how .
Boost their confidence.
Worried about how your ta-tas compare? . Gorgeous, yes—but also totally human. There, now don’t we all feel a little better? Your body is beautiful! Don’t hold yourself to truly impossible standards!
Take them out for sushi.
Lunch date, party of 3? Chowing down on that spicy salmon roll can help lower your breast cancer risk , since it’s loaded with healthy omega-3s.
Touch yourself.
Giving yourself a breast exam isn’t quite as exciting as regular fondling, but it’s just as important to pencil in. Check out our tips for a no-stress self-exam .
Look out for admirers.
Turns out both men and women spend more time looking at breasts than faces, according to recent research . See, everyone is always staring at your chest!
Spritz them.
Dabbing your signature scent onto your chest will make it pretty much impossible for anyone not to catch a whiff when they come in close. And what’s sexier than that? Find the perfect perfume for you and share some with the girls.
Watch whether men prefer real to fake breasts:
Play favorites.
If your set isn’t exactly the same size, that’s fine—in fact, it’s normal. Grab a handful of each one, spot the differences, and announce the winner. (Bonus points for quirkiness!)
Love every little line.
As much as you want to curse your girls at any sign of stretch marks, here’s the thing: they’re largely caused by genetics. So try to stop fretting about them so much. If they’re really screwing up the bond with your boobs, try these tactics to prevent and erase stretch marks .
Make a date with moisturizer.
Experts say the best way to save the skin on your chest is by moisturizing—a lot! And hey, now you have an excuse to give yourself a sexy boob massage every morning.
Work out together.
You wouldn’t neglect your workout buddy right? So why are you treating your girls like crap during a run? Find the best sports bra for your boobs so you’ll both enjoy your workout a little bit more.
Explore different sensations.
If some squeezing and caressing from your partner is all your girls have experienced, they are seriously deprived. Play around with new sensations—like hot and cold temperatures, feather-light strokes or even vibrations from a sex toy . You may find a new favorite way to touch your boobs.
Embrace their size.
Katy Perry revealed to Elle that she wasn’t always happy with her chest as a teen, but now she’s learned to appreciate them: “Little did I know that these things would come in handy,” she said. So whether you’re busty or barely-there, just own it.
Check them out during sex.
Turns out, your girls can actually increase in size when aroused (A-cups, rejoice!). Plus, your nipples can get a little darker in color due to increased blood flow. So don’t forget to sneak a peak next time you’re getting busy.
Let them roam overnight.
Throw on some silky sheets and ditch your top for the night if it’s warm enough. The amazing feel of the fabric on your skin will feel like luxury (and might even inspire some sexy dreams).
Make sure they’re comfy.
If your boobs aren’t happy, you’re not happy, so make sure they’re not being pinched, poked, or prodded by the wrong lingerie. Learn how to find your perfect bra fit here .
If you’re not the type to play with your girls during masturbation, you might want to start. Exploring what pressure and sensations you like means you’ll know exactly what to ask for with a partner.
Or fondle with a partner.
An unofficial poll tells us that pretty much every guy loves seeing you give yourself a hand in bed. And really, who knows how to handle them better than you?
Fake better cleavage.
Wishing you had a little more oomph up top? Dust a little bronzer on your cleavage, dipping between your breasts in a V shape. Oh hey, Sofia Vergara, is that you?
Go ahead…stare at them.
Do it when you’re getting out of the shower or when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror. Just check yourself out! Because all boobs—big, small, altered, or aging—are beautiful.
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Frank is a contributing writer for Cosmopolitan.com
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