Watch Wife With Other Man
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I watch my wife enjoy sex with another man
Please advise and help me. A year ago I lost the use of my legs/lower body and I am disabled and not able to have sex anymore. My wife has been amazing and has continued to support me throughout our marriage and this experience. We had a great sex life before and with my current situation it's no longer possible. I have tried being affectionate with her but can't get an erection and can see the disappointment in my wife but still she continues to support me. Recently I figured we need to sit down and chat directly about it as my situation is not going to change and we needed to face reality. My wife said she will support me irrespective and that she does not need to have sex. I could sense her disappointment though and know how stressed she has been and started something I regret now but don't know how to cope. I told my wife that I know she is very sexual and I don't want her to not be able to have sex just because I cant and suggested she can have sex with another guy. Initially she said she can't and doesn't want to be with anyone else but after many discussions with her I told her it will only be sex. Eventually I suggested and we agreed that I could be in the room to make her feel comfortable and so that I don't have to be concerned and worried about what is happening. We agreed and she invited a friend home who she said has always liked her and explained our situation. My wife was very nervous so I suggested drinks etc and soon she started kissing and making out with her friend. She then stopped and was crying saying she's sorry to do this to me but I calmed her down and told her that I am comfortable with it and want her to relax and enjoy it as I wanted to watch her with another man. I told her I would get enjoyment seeing what she does with me with another man as I can't satisfy her anymore. This seemed to trigger something in her and they started making out and kissing passionately. Soon she was giving him oral sex and I started to cry within myself. My wife was enjoying being with another man who could satisfy her. Eventually they had sex and it was intense. When it was over she came to me to check if I was fine and I told her how much I enjoyed it watching her in action so to speak. She said she was glad we could be so open minded and said hopefully this could be regular if I enjoy it so much. It has since happened many times but I regret it and can't stand her with another man but how do I take this enjoyment away from my wife?
Answer
17,258 views
This is a difficult one as it would seem as something has happened and you had a change in mind. I suggest that you both see a couples therapist and get to the bottom of your unhappiness. If I were you I would tell your wife not to continue with the practice until you have talked it out with a couples therapist. Whatever you do, don't just go along with this and suppress your real feelings as this could potentially break up your relationship if you don't get professional help at the earliest of your convenience. Nobody has done anything wrong, it is just that things have changed for you since the two of you have started with this creative solution to your unique sexual issues.
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Discussion Starter
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#1
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Jun 20, 2018
To be clear, we are separated. We have been going to marriage counseling and "dating". My wife didn't cheat on me (technically). She hasn't "had" another man since we started marriage counseling.
I'm going to be blunt, with full likelihood of sounding like a ****. We had a ****ty sex life. We'd have sex once a month, if that. I always had to initiate. My wife laid there motionless and lifeless. She didn't enjoy it at all, nor did I. She would never do anything for me, except be a hole to ****.
After 4 months without so much as a touch we got into a fight in front of my friends. Everyone was drinking, someone complained about their sex life and I made a comment about my wife in front of her and 11 of my friends. That fight (and other buildup) led to us being separated for 6 months now. 4 months totally separated, 2 months in marriage counseling.
3 weeks after we separated my wife went and ****ed a "friend" of mine. A guy who I'm not very close with but he is a friend. He's a player and frequently has multiple "girlfriends". Now any time he will be around I get to remember that he's ****ed my wife, when she wouldn't even **** me. I keep playing it over in my mind what they did, even though I don't know. "Seeing" my wife on top of him makes me want to puke. He gets the satisfaction of another "score" and having told everyone that he ****ed my wife. I didn't even hear it from her. I heard it from the **** that was in her. While I will never invite him over or out, he is friends with many of my friends and I likely will have to see him at some point.
Here's the thing, my wife isn't just some bait and switch *****. She has ALWAYS been the same regarding sex. So yeah, my bad as I knew what I was marrying. We didn't even have sex until we had been together for 16 months. She took OVER A YEAR to have sex with me, yet went and ****ed another dude, that she had met twice. We haven't had sex since separating. She won't **** me but will **** 3 other men. Or maybe she had been ****ing others during or marriage.
She always use to say that sex was "special", yet goes and ****s someone she KNOWS is a player and wants nothing more than sex. Goes and has two one night stands. "To see if she could". Once wasn't enough she had to keep "seeing if she could"?
My wife was raped in her teens as a virgin. That's the "reason" we took so long to have sex and "why" our sex life sucked. Up until our separation I was the only person she had consensual sex with. Quite frankly I'm having a hard time believing that she'd have so much trouble having sex with her own husband, but can go **** 3 random men like it's nothing.
We separated because she wouldn't have sex, then she turns around and has sex with other men. Nice. In a counselling session she basically blamed me for it. She said it was her choice but what I said to her in front of friends (including the one she ****ed), and how I acted "made" her want to do it.
How the hell do you get over that and let it go? The marriage counselor is all about putting everything on the table, and starting fresh. It's not that ****ing simple. She still won't have sex with me "because she isn't ready" yet went and had a sex spree with strangers? How does that make sense? Maybe our marriage counsellor is a quack, I don't know. Either way I'm pissed AF over here. Maybe I'm being an irrational ****, and if so, please tell me. Or if I should be running for the hills, tell me that also.
We are trying to stay together because our sex life was the only large issue in our marriage, all other problems seemed to stem from it. We have 3 kids together, and while I am not going to "stay for the kids" I am going to try harder for them. We separated because it was "easy". We were fighting non-stop and hated being around each other. I had the opportunity to do a 4 month business trip, and took it. During that time we were totally separated and free to do whatever we wanted. We wanted to take that time to see if we wanted to be separated permanently or not. We both want to try and be together again and put in the effort. Having a "friend" tell everyone that he ****ed my wife, spread that to me, then have my wife (in counseling) tell me she ****ed two other men is changing that.
If sex with her is so bad, @cole8 ~ then why hang on to her? Any loving married husband deserves better than that!
And in my book, a "friend" who does that to another friends wife, married or separated, is certainly no "friend!"
And a wife who lets a "friend" do that with her is definitely not wife material!
Her having sex with your friend pretty much pretty much made sure that you could (as a human being) never ever forget/forgive her. It also sounds like she did it to intentionally hurt you and blow up any chance of R. You have to make your own decision about living with someone that mean.
With respect to the 'friend', don't hide his inappropriate behavior....a friend should have supported and encouraged your marriage if only for the sake of your kids. Announce to everyone that he stabbed you, your wife, & your kids in the back - which in turn makes sure you two could never reconcile. Let everyone know that he is nobodies friend and should be avoided!
Guess she put a nail in it. Quit thinking your wife is the only path to happiness. Dump her, there is a big beautiful world out there. She withholds sex then has an affair, your wife sucks. Seriously you probably wouldn't wish her garbage on a total stranger, why would you want to stay marred to this cruel person. And I know this hurts to read but she probably just isn't that into you, doesn't mean someone else won't be. Alone is better trust me, and the others who are going to echo what I wrote.
Side note, this is why I could never be a marriage counselor because at the point she told that story I would be telling you you can do better and you should let the marriage die.
Robert's right expose these *******s for who they are at the very least so people can protect themselves from them.
Seriously if you lie with Dogs you are going to get fleas. You need a better class of women.
Maybe you should get some IC to find out why you are willing to put up with such disrespect.
[Unless you have cheated on her in the past] then this would make more sense.
You hear all the time that the BS has to eat a **** sandwich, but most of the time the WS -- IS the **** sandwich.
Discussion Starter
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#5
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Jun 20, 2018
To clarify, prior to my wife sleeping with him I used the term friend loosely. He had always been more of a "friend of a friend" who I saw a few times a year. He wasn't someone I'd personally invite out but he'd tag along with someone else occasionally. I think my wife had only met him twice. He isn't someone that I want to be around anymore, and I have made that known. My friends do know that he slept with my wife, it's not something he ever hid. No one agrees with that behavior.
Our sex life was terrible, no denying that. The other parts of our marriage were good, before the frustration took over. She has said that she wants to work on her "sex issues" and that she will go to sex therapy to work on it. I don't really see how she needs "sex therapy" when she was fully able to spread her legs for three other men. I appreciate your opinions. My judgement may be foggy, hence wanting to reconcile.
I don't see anything to save here.
"Breaks" don't work. Coupl
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