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Sexolve 61: “I Watched My Son Masturbating, Is That Wrong?”
Mom, masturbation is not unhealthy at all. (This photograph has been used for representation only) Photo: iStock
I reach orgasm but I don’t cum. Photo: iStock
I’m in love with a married man. Will he leave his wife for me? (This photograph has been used for representation only) Photo: iStock
Published: 08 Jul 2017, 6:54 PM IST
Speaking truth to power requires allies like you.
Sexolve is equal rights activist Harish Iyer’s Q&A space on The Quint .
If you have any problems, doubts or queries regarding sex, sexuality or your relationships, which you can’t seem to deal with, or need some advice, answers or just someone to hear you out – write in to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you. Drop in a mail to sexolve@thequint.com .
Thank you for your insightful responses. I am a fan of your column here. Having followed you, I have the confidence that you would not judge me for this. So here goes. I am a 45 year old woman with a teenage son. He will turn 18 next month. After watching your episode of child sexual abuse in Satyamev Jayate , I explained sex and sexuality to my son. I thought he would be protected from all evils after that. However, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Yesterday, I peeped into his bedroom to catch him naked and masturbating. He didn’t notice me, but I kept watching him from the door that was half open. I saw him climaxing in the bedsheets. Later, I tried questioning him about his bedsheet stinking and he just acted as if he didn’t listen to that. He got angry for some other reason and stepped out of the house in anger. Our relationship has strained ever since. I don’t know what to do.
Thank you for your kind words. In keeping with your impression of me, I will be as frank as I can with you. You need to mind your seema . I mean, mind your limits. You have given birth to your son. You don’t own your son. In fact, you don’t own any human. Secondly, when children hit puberty, some of them masturbate. There is nothing unhealthy in masturbation. It is only unhealthy to obsess with anything, and this time you are obsessing with your son. There is nothing wrong in masturbation. You should seriously take a chill-pill and not invade his privacy. Once your child is old enough, you have no right to stalk him in his intimate moments with himself. Please stop this right here. Your taunts about the bedsheet would have given him the lesson that he should not soil bedsheets and stuff for relieving himself. Let this chapter end there. Would you appreciate your son peeping into your bathroom when you are bathing? Wouldn’t you be disgusted if you discovered something like that? What you are doing is exactly the same. Your son is 18. You have no right to stalk him and watch him undress. Ensure that you give him as much respect that he gives you. Respect is a two way street.
I have a big problem. I don’t get cum. Whenever I masturbate, I reach orgasm but I don’t get sperm. How do I solve this problem?
I am not equipped or qualified to answer this question of yours. Please visit an andrologist/sexologist. Only on learning the history and physical examination will anyone be able to suggest any form of treatment.
I am a 26 year old woman in love with a 48 year old man. All through I have been told that there could be something wrong me that I got attracted and am now in a relationship with an older man. But that’s not my only problem. My problem is that my boyfriend is married and has two children. He is unable to commit to me. I am very much in love with him and wish to marry him one day. How do I convince him to get rid of his wife and marry me?
Thank you for sharing such an intimate part of your life with me. It must be difficult for you for sure to open up like this. Love is blind. True love doesn’t see age, caste, creed, religion or even gender or sexuality. There is nothing wrong in falling in love with someone older. Let people talk. Don’t give heed to it. However, you need to also understand that we have to bear the consequences of our acts in love. You are in a difficult situation now. It is not just for me or anyone to help you get “rid” of his wife. If he is unhappy with her, they may decide to part ways. If not, their relationship may go on and on. However, you should tell your boyfriend that he should not live his life like a compromise. If he is unhappy with his marriage, you should tell him to not drag it for his children. Children can tell when their parents are not in love with each other anymore and that is just as traumatic as being a child from a broken family. Give him time. Explain to him your stance. If this is bothering you so much and you think you are being played on, stop it as soon as you can to avoid anymore complications. Do act maturedly. Don’t slip into the path of destruction. You don’t need to get rid of anyone. If he loves you, truly and completely, he will come to you.
( At The Quint, we are answerable only to our audience. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a membe r . Because the truth is worth it. )
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Hi - this is going to be a strange topic - but I am in my 40s and have just walked in on my mum (who is in her late 70s) masterbating at her house in the middle of the day.
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10 Answers - ( Newest, 9 August 2015)

I used to masturbate while my brother watched.
Comment removed by moderator · 7 yr. ago
/r/Confession is a place to admit your wrongdoings, acknowledge your guilt, and alleviate your conscience.
When I was around 12-13, I would often catch my brother spying on me when I was in the shower. He was 17 at the time. He would quietly open the bathroom door and look in the mirror on the back wall, assuming I couldn't see him. It happened almost every time I had a shower - almost every day. He would stay there until I turned the water off and then he would leave. Sometimes sooner if I spooked him.
He was older than me and I had always felt like I could trust him, so I never felt threatened or anything. Even though he was my brother, I knew that he was attractive, my friends always told me he was. So I let him watch me. The truth is that I liked the feeling of him looking at me. At some point, I started touching myself when he was watching. It started off as innocent washing but became masturbation over time. I know it sounds pretty gross, but it made me feel more mature at the time. Thankfully, I never told him I knew he was watching and it only went on for a year or so before he went off to college. I don't really know what I was thinking.
No sense bringing it up if he doesnt. If it bothers you later, there's therapy and other options and honestly, cross thst bridge when you reach it. Maybe you decide that you did enjoy it. Thats fine too, we cant control what makes us curiius. We can only control how we take the experience. For now, put it on the shelf and move on. No harm no foul
He was probably just horny as shit and would look at anything. As long as he never acted on it physically.
Slow your roll pal, were you in your right mind 24/7 when you were 17? I thought not.
And maybe attend Church/Synagog/,etc. or where-ever you worship your God a few extra times a day (if you worship at all).
I hope the downvoting was because of the spelling, or is that a trendy abbreviation?
Could someone explain to me why this guy looks like he was brigaded? I mean he's offering decent advice in my opinion..
I said it above and ill say it again. Calling him a creep and a pedo? Why? Were you in your right mind when you were 17? Was every decision you made a good decision?
Any male at 17 is going to be horny most of the time. Its just how the late stages of puberty and testosterone work. Doesn't mean he was attracted or wanted any part of OP, but he was just curious. Like any other 17 year old male or female you'll find.
wonderful open sensuality, you should rejoice xx

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if we r confessing then i must say this. i master debated to a porn once....
You should be ashamed of yourself. :toetap05:
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