Warning Graphic The Complete Guide For Adults
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Warning Graphic The Complete Guide For Adults
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It's an odd animal: women's literary fiction -- NOT erotica -- with a brazen, sensual and deeply flawed main character. Carmen is perpetually concerned with, touching and baring her body. Yet the sex never becomes the story; it isn't that sort of book.
Novelist, essayist and founder of Underground Mama
May. 25, 2012, 04:11 PM EDT | Updated Jul. 25, 2012
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Novelist, essayist and founder of Underground Mama
Before we begin, if you're under 18, or one of my children (even if you're over 18), or one of my children's friends, or someone who works for me , or my Mom or Dad, you should stop reading and close your browser now.
OK, now that it's just this writer and the anonymous, adult public, I'd like to talk about sex -- specifically the sex in literature, and even more specifically the sex in The Forever Marriage . Because there's, well, a ton of it. It's graphic, and according to all good sources it's really hot.
I did not set out to write the book this way. Granted, I was in Italy -- on the Cinque Terre -- when I came up with the idea and the characters and committed the first words to paper (or screen, as it were). And I was still pretty newly married at the time, dazzled to find the same great one-night stand in my bed night after night.
I was also in my early 40s, and I think this is key. Because if my friends and I are representative, this decade is the most sexual time in a woman's life. Mature enough to know what she wants. Done with the crowd-driven insecurities of youth. Inhabiting a body that's desperate to produce one more time, no matter how many ways it's thwarted. Coupling, if she's lucky, with a middle-aged guy whose table stakes are intellect, gentility and humor. (Nothing is sexier than that.)
I write chronologically. So I began the story, as I've detailed , with a woman watching and reveling in her longtime husband's death. I introduced her lover, a younger half-Irish, half-Indian librarian (vitality, exoticism and brains) in the second paragraph and had her texting him inappropriate messages by page four. This was an emotionally true but raw story that displayed the terrible suffering -- both physical and emotional -- of a man named Jobe. As I moved through it, quickly falling in love with the cuckolded husband myself, I felt the need for balance. I genuinely wanted to give Jobe something joyful and sweet.
I gave him sex with the wife he both feared and adored, on page nine:
They hardly kissed any more; she couldn't remember the last time she'd encountered his tongue. But that night she'd tried, a drunken experiment, and his beard felt stiff and foreign against her cheeks. Within minutes, Jobe was inside her and his long, bony body was against hers, like a pencil indenting a soft eraser. He moved in and out, pistons working. She couldn't have reached his mouth again if she had wanted to -- he was rigid and had drawn back for thrusting, so his face was too far above her head -- but this only added to the alchemy. Alone beneath Jobe, Carmen entered a dreamy place where divisions disappeared.
I admit, this is a reserved, not-quite-coy description of the act. But it was more sex than I'd ever written in my life. My first novel featured a young, married couple very much in love, but the few sex scenes were only glancing allusions, described in vague language and taking up only a few lines. Here, I was writing about a marriage doomed to end with a husband's welcome death. Yet the scene genuinely taught me something about my characters: Jobe, workmanlike and hopeful and anxious to please; Carmen, self-absorbed but not heartless, a woman who despite her distaste recognized when her ill husband needed the comfort and earthly gift of entering her, his mortal body cradled in her wetness and warm skin.
I wrote on. I became more comfortable with the words and body parts and depictions of slippery, heated moments usually kept private. And I realized that the carnal behavior of my characters very clearly defines them: Jobe, Carmen and Danny, her librarian. Even Jana, a lesbian with a strict code for sexual morality, who becomes Carmen's confidante, caretaker and guide.
Carmen's first interaction with Danny happens toward the end of Chapter 1. It's a phone call during a thunderstorm, which she must conduct quietly because her teenage children are in the next room. And it establishes the dynamics of their relationship in fewer than 150 words.
"I'd ask if you want to meet me, but I don't know where we'd go in this storm. " He seemed suddenly to crouch closer to the phone. "It would be nice to touch you. I'd lick you and make you come, then leave right away. Run away through the rain."
Carmen slid one hand up along her thigh. Danny electrified her with his dirty talk, and his habit of sometimes doing exactly as he said: working her up quickly, bringing her to climax, and disappearing before she'd even had time to open her eyes. The first time they were together she'd felt as if he were an incubus or a spirit, something she'd conjured up for the purposes of satisfying her the way her husband did not and allowed to dematerialize as soon as she'd gotten what she wanted. But that only made her want him more.
The plot often turns on how sexuality shapes events, but it is Carmen -- the novel's most constant presence and point of view -- whose desires keep coming to the fore. The Forever Marriage is written in "close-third," which means it does not have a narrator (an "I") but it takes place both inside and out of Carmen's head, always in her immediate sphere.
That means readers are let in on her most private thoughts: how she yearns for Jobe's death and occasionally resents her children. But also, what she thinks about as she masturbates in the attic, while listening to one of Jobe's favorite classical CDs.
The music changed, becoming a soaring symphonic rush -- an early ancestor of the Moody Blues -- for which she was grateful. Carmen was breathing raggedly now, pressing down harder and arching her back to rub her nipples against the coarse blanket, which she held taut with one hand. Her eyes were closed but dots of gold light appeared behind them, larger and larger in succession. Her shoulders were opening like wings, her whole body thrashing and about to break into waves, when she felt suddenly that she was being watched.
This may be one reason The Forever Marriage was rejected by the first three rounds of publishers. It's an odd animal: women's literary fiction -- NOT erotica -- with a brazen, sensual and deeply flawed main character. Carmen is perpetually concerned with, touching and baring her body. Yet the sex never becomes the story; it isn't that sort of book.
My goal was to write an honest novel that looked unstintingly at deep, complicated, visceral things: marriage, cancer, regret, sex... even math. To me, they are all connected, these wonderful, painful bounds of space and time and one's brief, limited existence. That's what I wanted to show.
And to some degree at least, I think I succeeded. Early reviewers have referred admiringly to Carmen as a "hot-blooded woman" and cited " the potency of Carmen's desires " as driving the way The Forever Marriage unfolds. This is sex as that cry against the darkness, the unknown, and the infinite universe.
Novelist, essayist and founder of Underground Mama
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For violent or traumatizing footage shared on social media, content warnings or trigger warnings are needed, since these types of content can be severely harmful for audiences, especially those with related trauma. Add your own with this template.
Years ago, social media platforms were largely seen as a frivolous, recreational online networks, but they have increasingly become the sites of serious political action, justice advocacy , and news coverage.
The ease with which video clips can be shared and spread across social media sites, among other things, has played an enormous role in global news cycles, especially in 2020. But a lot of these newsworthy video clips can do serious harm to the millions of people who see them every day on social media, often unwittingly. It's common to scroll through your timeline and see violent, traumatizing clips that start playing before you're prepared.
That's where content warnings come in: briefly displaying a screen that prepares the viewer for what they're about to watch is a simple courtesy to everybody, and can save some members of your audience from serious trauma. In this article, I'll go over what content warnings are, why they're important, and how to add one to your videos in under a minute using a simple video template.
In some situations – depictions or presentations of extreme violence or sexual assault, for example – content warnings or trigger warnings are needed, since these types of content can be severely harmful for audiences with related trauma. This can be nothing more than a simple, unobtrusive sentence along these lines:
And if someone lets you know that they would have appreciated a warning of some sort, add one when possible . Your viewers and readers know themselves better than anyone – listen to them!
Because witnessing disturbing events can be harmful to people, content warnings apply to violent or obviously traumatizing video clips or images. But there are other ways in which content warnings can serve a vital purpose.
For one, content warnings can enhance accessibility . Some video clips may be perfectly safe for some populations, but dangerous for others. You may consider adding a content warning for videos that contain images with these possible issues:
Government publications, public agencies, television providers, and movie theaters are required to provide warnings for content that is potentially harmful along those lines. We're used to seeing these warnings before movie trailers and on public service announcements. Similar guidelines can be useful for independent content publishers, too.
Some platforms, like Instagram and Twitter, warn users before they begin viewing "sensitive content." On Instagram, viewers must tap the warning to consent to seeing the image instead of seeing the photo or video automatically in their feed. Instagram suggests that this warning "help[s] people avoid posts they'd rather not see."
These warnings are generated automatically when a piece of content is flagged by other viewers. As a result, there is often a delay between when a video is posted and when it is flagged, meaning many people are exposed before the content warning appears. On Twitter, for instance, traumatizing videos of public interest can go massively viral before any content warnings are generated for users.
YouTube, similarly, shows a content warning when content has been flagged by audience members. Viewers must tap "I Understand and Wish to Proceed" to view the video.
To control the specific message sent to viewers, reduce the risk of the content being flagged or taken down, and ensure that the post is safe immediately for everyone who might see it, creators can add a custom content warning before posting on social media. These warning messages protect the viewers' physical, emotional, and mental health by preparing them for the content they're about to view. It also makes it less likely that edgy content will be flagged and taken down.
Get started by designing your trigger warning image . This warning will be the first frame of your video and will give people the info they need to know before watching the rest of the video. Consider describing what people should know about with a readable subtext.
Use text, shapes, images, and emojis to give the viewer adequate warning about the sensitive material they're about to see. Edit the Sample Text to adjust your message to the audience and add icons to catch the viewer's attention. Change the aspect ratio to match the ratio of your video: 1:1 for Instagram or 16:9 for YouTube, for example.
Alternatively, get started with a pre-designed content warning image by using Kapwing's free Content Warning template .
After designing the content warning image, you can upload your video. Click on "+ Add Scene" in the left-hand toolbar, then click " Upload " to add your own video. You can search through your device's files, paste a link to content stored online, or drag and drop your video directly into the Studio.
Modify the duration of the content warning frame. You want to give the viewer enough time to read the text and decide if they should continue watching, so we recommend a duration of 4 seconds. To change the duration of the intro warning scene, select the first scene and click " Timeline " in the upper toolbar, so find the "Edit duration" button in the Scenes view. Here, you can input the exact value for your content warning's duration.
After you've joined the warning with your video or photo, watch the video preview through to ensure that it looks good and meets social media's other technical requirements. Then, click "Export video" to publish the MP4 file. After Kapwing processes your video, you can save it and post it on social media. If you sign in, Kapwing is free to use with no watermark.
For future content pieces, you can edit the project or make a copy to re-use the same content warning and maintain visual consistency.
Content warnings can be added to photos, videos, or GIFs, and are appropriate for any social network including Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, Instagram Stories, and more. When posting a graphic or potentially harmful video, take the extra steps needed to prepare viewers for sensitive content. These warnings make social media a safer space for all and maintain a high-integrity account on social media. Thanks for reading!
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