Wake Him Up With Head

Wake Him Up With Head
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For obvious reasons, we’re talking a lot about consent at the moment.
And given that it’s a big topic, it seemed like a sensible time to raise a question that I’ve been wondering about for a while. Sleep sex.
I’ve written before about how I don’t think that people who commit sex crimes are always inherently evil – that they’re sometimes fundamentally decent people who’ve been under-educated about what consent means, and who become victims of that lack of information when they hurt another person.
Is there a possibility that inside a relationship we get so inured to the concept of having another person’s consent that we take it for granted?
And does that mean that we shouldn’t be waking our partners up with oral sex?
The early morning blowjob, or waking your partner up by turning them on, is (when executed properly) a classic move.
It’s like the best alarm clock ever. It puts a spring in your step for the rest of the day and leaves you feeling sad for the rest of the losers on the bus who haven’t already had sex this morning.
But, you can’t ask a sleeping person for consent.
Often in a relationship we rely on implied consent (responding to the other person’s advances, taking their vocal enjoyment as consent) rather than affirmative consent (saying ‘yes, I want to do this’).
But a sleeping person isn’t initially ready to give either type. So, should you avoid it entirely?
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Sexpert Annabelle Knight told Metro.co.uk that while morning sex is great, waking someone up with sex isn’t always the best plan.
‘Waking your partner up with sex can do wonders for your relationship.
‘Post climactic chemicals such as Oxytocin and Serotonin help to combat stress, make you feel happy and improve your general health by reducing the risk of headaches and illness.
‘It also bonds a couple – couples who engage in morning sexual activity are less likely to stray as they feel their sexual needs have already been met and are therefore less prone to fantasies of other people or acting on them. Of course there’s always the issue of surprise sex being unwanted.
‘My advice here is to wait until they’re at least half awake before you try anything. Most people need the toilet first thing and trying to concentrate on having a good time sexually when you’re dying for a wee won’t make for satisfying sex.
‘Successful morning sex comes (pardon the pun) from both partners feeling well rested and fresh, which may mean a quick swig of mouthwash and a toilet trip before you get down to it. The more comfortable you are the more you can concentrate of the experience itself and not external factors.
‘Couples who have been together for a long time can slip into a rut when it comes to checking that the advances are wanted. Even if you’ve been together ten years you still need to make sure sex is consensual.
‘Consent is a huge part of a happy and healthy sex life, being able to talk to your partner openly and honestly is hugely important and not just if it’s a threesome or anal sex that’s on the table. Long-term couples are less likely to view their partner not wanting sex as rejection, so don’t be afraid to say no to them.’
So, if waking someone up with sex isn’t important to both of you, skipping it in favour of a quick pre-sex chat and wee is a good plan.
That said, if you and your partner are both actively aroused by and committed to the idea of being woken up with sex, there are ways to mitigate the potential issues.
As with so many things, the issue here really is about communication.
Talk to your partner about consent, about whether being woken up with oral sex is something that they really want – in reality not just in fantasy. Lots of the things that turn us on in our heads are a bit uncomfortable in real life, especially if (like Annabelle says, you need a wee!)
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Saucy Benidorm legend Sticky Vicky, 79, rushed to hospital after smashing knees
Similarly, read the mood of the day. If you had a fight before you went to sleep, initiating make-up sex is not a good plan, in case it upsets the other person, but if you had a conversation the night before about how you want to squeeze in a quickie before work, you’re on more solid ground.
If you do attempt to make morning sex happen and the object of your affection isn’t initially responsive, back off. Don’t get upset with them or imply that they’re being unreasonable, and give them the space they need to decide whether or not they want to have sex with you at that moment.
Giving oral sex is often portrayed at some kind of gift, so having it rejected can feel hurtful. Try to remember that even if the activity is designed to give the other person pleasure, that still doesn’t mean it’s ungrateful or wrong for them not to want it.

Ok, I am a newly married and I wanted to have sex lastnight and my husband said no. He was tired. So, I tried to go to sleep but couldnt. So, I decided to try giving him head while he slept to see what he would do. Maybe it would change his mind and I really wanted to have some fun. But, he slept through it. I did it for about 30 mins. He even got hard. He even moaned but still snored and never woke up. I am so hurt by this and I feel rejected and he doesn't want me. Help!
Tried giving husband head while he was asleep but he didn't wake up, should I be mad?
If anyones struggling right now, please read this. I’ve made a pretty cool realisation.
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The first Anonymous User (guy) seems to have got it quite right, and deserves Best Answer status! I particularly agree with him on avoiding sex when one or both are tired, finding ways to cope with a sexual mismatch, and that rejections can be VERY frustrating. As for your husband, just curious to know -- how old is he? How long have you'll been having sex or in a relationship? Were one or both married earlier? I ask because it's far, far easier to get quickly charged or wake up easily when in your 20s, for a guy. Also, it's easier to get tired so badly in your 40s! Frankly, from your description, I wouldn't take it personal! As someone else commented, sounds like the was VERY TIRED. As you know, we guys do get "wet dreams" at times, when we dream of all kinds of sexual things, and can actually climax while in our sleep. (This happens when one has not had sex, nor masturbated for a long time.) Sometimes, it's very hard to distinguish between a wet dream and reality! Since I have sex or masturbate pretty regularly, I've hardly had any wet dreams. But when I did get them, it was like the real thing! I guess your hubby could easily have imagined that he was just dream, while you were really stimulating him. Strangely, in my case, whenever I'm having an erotic dream, it's always my partner (99% of the time) whom I'm dreaming of. So, it's really hard to distinguish between dream and reality, sleep and wakefulness. It's only that you get up with a oh-it's-only-a-dream feeling. Don't let anyone plant suspicion in your mind that your husband is "selfish". We really don't know the facts, how tired he was, etc, etc. A mismatch in a sex drive though can be really a problem. If that's the case, just try to work to sort it. As hinted by someone, try morning sex. Both tend to be far more fresh at that time, provided you have the time, and are not in a hurry. I do know that sometimes sex can be the best sleeping pill. I'm relaxed after a good bout of sex. But then, we can't always get it when we want -- or when insomnia becokns. In which case, I think going solo is the best solution for me...
Over many years, I've learnt two things (i) don't even try to have sex when one or both parties are tired -- you could end in a major scrap (ii) don't expect things to work every time. You shouldn't be angry with yourself or him. Perhaps he was simply too tired. Maybe he thought he was dreaming! A guy getting hard can be quite an involuntary thing, which he is not quite in control of. When we were newly married, there were times when I was so tired that I virtually did sex sleep-walking! I didn't enjoy it, but didn't feel confident enough to say so then! So please be considerate... The thing you need to watch out for is if one party in the relationship / marriage has an unmatched sex drive. That can leave you pretty frustrated. It did to me. And took me a lot of time to realize how to ask for sex in a way (and at a time) I didn't get a 'no'. Hint: mornings, rather than nights. Also, feeling rejected can only make you feel more disappointed. If you accept that a mismatched sex-drive can be a reality among many couples, then you will find ways to minimise its impact. I did.
Curious, what was the color of your tongue after a 30 minute blowjob?
She was hoping it would be frosty white, but as it turns out, it sounds like it was pretty red to me.
This has nothing to do with him not wanting you. If he didn't want you he wouldn't have married you. When guys are ready for bed that's it. We don't wanna talk or play or have sex. When we fall asleep we aren't waking up till the alarm goes off. I guess my ex gave me a bj while I was asleep one time too and I even came apparently but never woke up. He was probably dreaming about something sexual so the feeling he was getting from the bj didn't wake him up because he thought it was part of the dream. Don't be offended by this. If the same situation happens again then climb on top of him and have fun. Even if he wakes up I doubt that he would be mad at the sight of you riding him
Try setting your alarm for 30 minutes before he gets up. Give him head then. Since he has slept through the night he should wake up to what you're doing. Be warned at the possibility he might wake as he is cumming and might not return the favor. You could also ask him when the best time is for having sex. If all else fails, get some toys.
sometimes I feel tired and I want no sex really... but sometimes my wife gives me headjob, handjob and I enjoy it all the while I am sleeping / pretend to sleep... this is not to worry about... or nothing like you should feel rejected... you should try again in mid of the night when he had a sleep of 2~3 hours
So he told you *at the very beginning* that he would rather sleep than have sex, and you're upset that when you blew him, he slept? He is not a sex toy. He's not required to want what you want, when you want it--no one is--and unless you understand this VERY soon, this could end up a short marriage.
thanks I guess your right...it was my fault! never looked at it that way.
he was sleeping how are you supposed to be mad at him he probably doesn't even remember. He was tired don't you respect that? It's not like he must have sex with you every time you want if he doesn't enjoy it because he's too tired
I understand but he does me this way all the time...When he wants it he wakes me up and I give in . He also gets mad at me if I tell him no! So kinda of confused now. Just wanted to clearify
ahh well then he's selfish and you would also be selfish if you got mad, maybe you should both discuss when it's okay to say no. Unless of course you both agree that it's like 'rights of the husband' but also 'rights of the wife' just the same. I'd never really consider such a thing before, but I guess it could be done that way
Lol! I guess he must have been really tired
It sounds like he really, really was tired.

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