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Re: Bending over -- MarkW, 13:23:50 07/31/21 Sat
Re: Bending over -- Michelle, 12:22:42 07/31/21 Sat
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Re: Bending over -- Laura (Matt's mom), 17:49:29 07/31/21 Sat
Re: Bending over -- MarkW, 12:05:38 08/02/21 Mon
Re: Bending over -- Vanessa (Abel’s Mom), 00:44:57 08/01/21 Sun
Re: Bending over -- MarkW, 12:09:47 08/02/21 Mon
Re: Bending over -- Vanessa (Abel’s Mom), 16:03:21 08/02/21 Mon
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Re: Spanking flattery -- FLMom, 12:42:14 10/18/21 Mon
Re: Spanking flattery -- MarkW, 13:15:35 10/18/21 Mon
Re: Spanking flattery -- FLMom, 13:27:27 10/18/21 Mon
Re: Spanking flattery -- April, 20:16:30 10/19/21 Tue
Re: Spanking flattery -- MarkW, 12:40:49 10/20/21 Wed
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Posted Wed, Aug 3, 2011 at 6:28 pm PT | Updated Thu, Aug 4, 2011 at 3:51 am PT
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This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.
Did you or do you spank your children?
Stacy Blom: I did spank my girls, if in fact they needed a good spanking. Mind you, it didn't happen often and I can't even remember the last time I spanked them.
They even had a few slaps across the mouth for saying things they should not have. I mostly remember a lot of hand spankings because I was not one to remove items within their reach and they were taught at a very young age to not touch things. I felt that if they knew not to touch in my house, they would treat other houses with respect as well.
Rebecca Olivera: Spanking was one of the methods of discipline used in our home.
What justified a spanking in your home?
Stacy Blom: When all else failed and they just kept pushing me to the limit, it usually resulted in a good butt spanking and then they were sent to their rooms.
It didn't happen often because we would always try to defuse the situation before it came to that point, but sometimes kids just keep testing the limits.
Rebecca Olivera: Each of my four boys' personalities are very different and each child was disciplined according to what worked for them at that moment.
I had an extremely sensitive child who only needed to be given the "mommy" look and he'd shape up. For another son, spankings didn't faze him at all but "time outs" were the most torturous, cruelest forms of discipline he could ever imagine.
Spankings were usually given in instances where there was outright defiance of well-established rules and after repeated warnings in specific circumstances. There was no surprise when it came to spankings—each of my boys knew when they were coming and why.
Are you concerned about being reported to Child Protection Services?
Stacy Blom: Never have I been concerned about my kids reporting me to CPS. You hear stories of kids threatening their parents with reporting them to CPS. I know this is in place to protect some children but I have told my girls numerous times: "Go ahead and report me because you will never have another home with as much love, commitment and dedication and be as good as the one you are in now!"
I've always referred to myself as the "mean" mom because I expect my children to behave, be courteous, and respectful and sometimes it took extra punishment to get there.
Rebecca Olivera: I have never been concerned about being reported to CPS. I've always stood by my personal principles and convictions and don't believe that the discipline I used in my home was abuse.
If I can't get a grip and handle on my children's behavior when they are young, I will lose all control when they become teenagers. If I lose control of them when they become teenagers, then they will become a menace to society—causing problems for the neighborhood and to our law enforcement agencies. Sound extreme? Of course that is the extreme, but I've seen it happen too many times and I refuse to let my boys contribute to the stereotypical statistics.
By the way, there is nothing wrong with "controlling" your home and your children. I've heard some people infer that controlling is bad, it is not. Controlling is to direct, to guide, to hold in restraint—this works both ways. I have to be in control of myself and my emotions in order to properly control my children.
Do you feel that spanking is an appropriate/successful way of disciplining your children?
Stacy Blom: Even though I did spank my children, I look back on it now and wonder if there were other ways. It's hard to fathom what brought me to that point. Sometimes kids just know what buttons to push! I don't think I would do it any other way because I am very proud of the way my children have turned out and if that meant a spanking here and there, then I'm okay with it!
Rebecca Olivera: I completely feel that my many forms of discipline, including spanking, were successful. I believe this is evident in the way my children conduct themselves today.
They have learned to control their actions. They are respectful, kind and are aware that rules are to be followed. If they break the rules, there are consequences that must be paid. Although, if you ask them now, they'd probably tell you the worst consequence was a spanking from their mother!
If not, what other methods did you use?
Rebecca Olivera: Each family, each child and each individual disciplinary situation is different. Not one method of discipline works for every child. You must know your child, know yourself and your limitations.
Parenting is the most difficult job ever— you are responsible for the life placed in your hands and you must stand by your convictions on how to discipline and raise your child.
I've heard both sides of the spanking debate and no one would or could persuade me otherwise—my children are my responsibility. I have and always will stand by my convictions and the choices I've made for my family with no regret or apology.
The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch? Register for a user account.
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Betty is a mother of three from Arizona. At the time of interview, her two daughters were aged nine and ten, and she also had a 10-year-old stepdaughter.
Are your children defiant when they are told they are
going to get a spanking?
Yes, sometimes they are. My children, like all children,
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