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A PAINFUL CONDITION THAT CAN RUIN YOUR SEX LIFE
Karen was baffled after she tried to have sex with several boyfriends who all told her the same thing – that it was ‘like hitting a brick wall’
IMAGINE a world where sex didn’t bring you pleasure, it brought you pain.
That was the reality for Karen Buono who was a “virgin” until she was 32 because she suffered with an agonising condition made doing the deed impossible.
The now 35-year-old spent most of her life suffering from a painful condition called vaginismus, which causes the muscles of the vaginal wall to involuntarily constrict upon penetration.
Not only was Karen unable to have sex, she also couldn’t use tampons or go for a smear test without unbearable pain.
The school teacher from Wesley Chapel in Florida, USA, was baffled after she tried to have sex with several boyfriends who all told her the same thing – that it was ‘like hitting a brick wall’ when they attempted intercourse.
And after several failed attempts Karen said she gave up trying to have sex.
It wasn’t until she was 31 that she was officially diagnosed with vaginismus - after years of thinking it was all in her head.
And after discovering a doctor who specialised in treating the condition, Karen was completely cured after just four months of intense physical therapy and was finally able to have sex with her “very patient” husband Joe Johnson, when she was 32.
The teacher said: “I knew something was wrong with me after I tried to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time when I was 16.
“I had never even tried to used tampons before that, so this was the first attempt at penetration.
“But no matter what we did, he just couldn’t get it in. It was so awkward.
“I thought it might have just been because it was our first time. So we waited a bit and tried again.
“But we couldn’t do it. He said it was like hitting a brick wall and there was just no way he could get it in.
“So we just gave up. But then the same thing happened with other boyfriends when I was in my twenties.”
Karen turned to alcohol to try and relax her muscles – admitting she used to get really drunk before attempting to have sex.
“I desperately wanted to have sex. I was dying for it, but I couldn’t,” she recalled.
“So I just told every partner I had that I wanted to wait for marriage, but that wasn’t true at all.
“When I was 25, I’d had enough. I paid $4,000 (£3,000) for my doctor to put me under anaesthesia to see what was wrong with me.
“But they said everything was fine. I was dumbfounded.
“So I just thought it must be all my fault. That it was all inside my head.”
One doctor told Karen about vaginismus but she claims she was told there was no cure.
Desperate, she looked for more information online and bought a set of dilators to slowly help her muscles relax upon penetration.
But without any direction or proper knowledge on how to use the dilators, Karen struggled to use them properly.
It wasn’t until she saw a pelvic floor expert Dr Lynn Deang when she was 31 that she was finally diagnosed.
“After just four months of therapy with her, I was cured. I could finally have sex for the first at 32 years old,” she said.
Vaginismus is the term used to describe recurrent or persistent involuntary tightening of muscles around the vagina whenever penetration is attempted.
It can disrupt or completely stop your sex life, and can lead to distress, a loss of confidence and relationship problems. It may even prevent you starting a family.
The condition can also make gynaecological and pelvic examinations difficult or impossible.
The symptoms can vary from one woman to the next.
Some women are unable to insert anything into their vagina because it closes up completely, while others can insert a tampon but are unable to have penetrative sex, and other women are able to have sex but find it very painful.
Many factors can play a part in the development of vaginismus, although it’s not fully understood why the condition happens.
Factors can include: thinking the vagina is too small, relationship problems and fear of pregnancy.
“It was one of the best days of my life. I was so happy to finally lose my virginity and have sex with the man I love.
“I honestly didn’t think the doctor would be able to help me, but I had nothing to lose so I thought I’d give it a go.
“She promised me I’d be able have sex in four months. I was thrilled. I’d waited my whole life, so four months was nothing.
“For the first two months, I saw her twice a week. She didn’t even get near my vagina at first, it was all just breathing techniques and relaxation exercises.
“Then she would try to insert a cotton bud. It was hard at first, but then it finally went in.
“She would just let that sit in there for about 20 minutes.”
Over time they began work with dilators and Karen used them every night at home on her own.
“And then one night my husband and I were making out on the couch. I looked at him and said ‘do you want to try?’,” she recalled.
“It worked. I finally had sex. I couldn’t believe it. I rang my doctor straight afterwards to tell her what had happened.
“I felt so proud. I felt like I’d just won a race of something that I’d been training for.
“Over time, we did it more and more. It took about a year for us to really get into the groove of things.
“After about a year, sex became really amazing and pleasurable the way it is supposed to be.”
Joe proposed to Karen a year ago, and the newlyweds tied the knot in April this year.
And after an “incredible” honeymoon in the Caribbean, the loved-up duo are now trying for a baby “as often as they can”.
Karen said: “I invited my doctor to the wedding because none of it would have been possible without her.
“There are women out there suffering from vaginismus in silence,” Karen said.
“You can never give up. There is hope. It’s not all in your head. The condition is real, and it can be cured.
“I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”
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News » Lifestyle » Health & Fitness Tips » 9 things that happen to a girl's body after losing virginity
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Losing virginity is a huge issue, especially in a country like ours. After your first sexual intercourse, you may have plenty of concerns about your body. Other than the hymen, which does not end up ‘breaking’ in most cases, there are many other changes that a woman’s body goes through post their first sexual experience. Here are some of them:

VAGINAL CHANGES: The elasticity of your vagina changes after you start having sex. Since the vagina is still getting used to this new activity you have introduced to your body, it takes some time for the vagina to become used to penetration. However, this gets better with time. Even how your vagina lubricates itself will change over a period of time.
CLITORIS AND UTERUS KNOW WHEN TO CONTRACT AND EXPAND: When in an arousal position, your clitoris will swell up and the uterus will rise a bit. After some time, your body will become used to sex and every time you arouse, your otherwise inactive clitoris and uterus will go through these transformations and return to normal post the act.
BREASTS BECOME FIRMER: During and after sex, the tissues in your breast swell up and the blood vessels dilate leading to firmer breasts. But, this goes back to normal post sex and is only a temporal state.
Vasocongestion is actually is the swelling of bodily tissues which is caused by increased vascular blood flow which leads to breast, nipples, labia and clitoris becoming enlarged. During this sexual arousal, well-oxygenated blood is supplied to your genitals and breasts. As a result, the outer lips, inner lips and clitoris may begin to swell and your heart rate and blood pressure may also increase momentarily.
Yes, you read that right. This is actually one of the hidden yet truly amazing benefits of losing your virginity. When you have sex for the very first time, it may have a direct impact on the glow on your face-- especially if the act finished with an orgasm. The logic is simple, when you have sex, it improves your blood circulation, which helps in pumping oxygen to your skin, giving it that heavenly, youthful glow. Also, when you have sex, your brain releases happy hormones like Serotonin and Oxycontin, which help in cutting down the stress levels and make you feel relaxed. The result? You get clearer-looking skin with a lit-from-within glow.
NIPPLES BECOME MORE SENSITIVE IN GENERAL: Once you start indulging in sex, your body goes through a variety of new experiences. The blood circulation around your nipples increases and the muscular tension increases making them tender than usual.
HAPPY HORMONES: Happy hormones are the reason for that glowing skin. As a result, the feel-good hormone of your body, serotonin, gets secreted. Other than this, when you orgasm, it releases another hormone known as oxytocin, which makes you feel happy and relaxed.
DELAY IN PERIODS: Since your hormones get active, there are chances your period may get delayed. Fret not, this is not a pregnancy alarm but rather your body's way of telling you that its going through changes.

EMOTIONAL ISSUES: Post losing your virginity, you may have emotional outbursts, both happy and sad. This is due to the hormonal changes and can make you feel extremes of either of the emotions.
Remember, everyone's first time is a different experience, but it is important to use protection to prevent pregnancy and STDs. When you have sex for the first time, it may hurt or feel uncomfortable, due to the lack of lubrication, owing to the friction. If sex continues to be painful for you, you can either try different angles or positions to reduce the discomfort and ask your partner to go slow when it comes to penetration. Always seek an expert advice if sex continues to remain painful.
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