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Karen was baffled after she tried to have sex with several boyfriends who all told her the same thing – that it was ‘like hitting a brick wall’
IMAGINE a world where sex didn’t bring you pleasure, it brought you pain.
That was the reality for Karen Buono who was a “virgin” until she was 32 because she suffered with an agonising condition made doing the deed impossible.
The now 35-year-old spent most of her life suffering from a painful condition called vaginismus, which causes the muscles of the vaginal wall to involuntarily constrict upon penetration.
Not only was Karen unable to have sex, she also couldn’t use tampons or go for a smear test without unbearable pain.
The school teacher from Wesley Chapel in Florida, USA, was baffled after she tried to have sex with several boyfriends who all told her the same thing – that it was ‘like hitting a brick wall’ when they attempted intercourse.
And after several failed attempts Karen said she gave up trying to have sex.
It wasn’t until she was 31 that she was officially diagnosed with vaginismus - after years of thinking it was all in her head.
And after discovering a doctor who specialised in treating the condition, Karen was completely cured after just four months of intense physical therapy and was finally able to have sex with her “very patient” husband Joe Johnson, when she was 32.
The teacher said: “I knew something was wrong with me after I tried to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time when I was 16.
“I had never even tried to used tampons before that, so this was the first attempt at penetration.
“But no matter what we did, he just couldn’t get it in. It was so awkward.
“I thought it might have just been because it was our first time. So we waited a bit and tried again.
“But we couldn’t do it. He said it was like hitting a brick wall and there was just no way he could get it in.
“So we just gave up. But then the same thing happened with other boyfriends when I was in my twenties.”
Karen turned to alcohol to try and relax her muscles – admitting she used to get really drunk before attempting to have sex.
“I desperately wanted to have sex. I was dying for it, but I couldn’t,” she recalled.
“So I just told every partner I had that I wanted to wait for marriage, but that wasn’t true at all.
“When I was 25, I’d had enough. I paid $4,000 (£3,000) for my doctor to put me under anaesthesia to see what was wrong with me.
“But they said everything was fine. I was dumbfounded.
“So I just thought it must be all my fault. That it was all inside my head.”
One doctor told Karen about vaginismus but she claims she was told there was no cure.
Desperate, she looked for more information online and bought a set of dilators to slowly help her muscles relax upon penetration.
But without any direction or proper knowledge on how to use the dilators, Karen struggled to use them properly.
It wasn’t until she saw a pelvic floor expert Dr Lynn Deang when she was 31 that she was finally diagnosed.
“After just four months of therapy with her, I was cured. I could finally have sex for the first at 32 years old,” she said.
A PAINFUL CONDITION THAT CAN RUIN YOUR SEX LIFE
Vaginismus is the term used to describe recurrent or persistent involuntary tightening of muscles around the vagina whenever penetration is attempted.
It can disrupt or completely stop your sex life, and can lead to distress, a loss of confidence and relationship problems. It may even prevent you starting a family.
The condition can also make gynaecological and pelvic examinations difficult or impossible.
The symptoms can vary from one woman to the next.
Some women are unable to insert anything into their vagina because it closes up completely, while others can insert a tampon but are unable to have penetrative sex, and other women are able to have sex but find it very painful.
Many factors can play a part in the development of vaginismus, although it’s not fully understood why the condition happens.
Factors can include: thinking the vagina is too small, relationship problems and fear of pregnancy.
“It was one of the best days of my life. I was so happy to finally lose my virginity and have sex with the man I love.
“I honestly didn’t think the doctor would be able to help me, but I had nothing to lose so I thought I’d give it a go.
“She promised me I’d be able have sex in four months. I was thrilled. I’d waited my whole life, so four months was nothing.
“For the first two months, I saw her twice a week. She didn’t even get near my vagina at first, it was all just breathing techniques and relaxation exercises.
“Then she would try to insert a cotton bud. It was hard at first, but then it finally went in.
“She would just let that sit in there for about 20 minutes.”
Over time they began work with dilators and Karen used them every night at home on her own.
“And then one night my husband and I were making out on the couch. I looked at him and said ‘do you want to try?’,” she recalled.
“It worked. I finally had sex. I couldn’t believe it. I rang my doctor straight afterwards to tell her what had happened.
“I felt so proud. I felt like I’d just won a race of something that I’d been training for.
“Over time, we did it more and more. It took about a year for us to really get into the groove of things.
“After about a year, sex became really amazing and pleasurable the way it is supposed to be.”
Joe proposed to Karen a year ago, and the newlyweds tied the knot in April this year.
And after an “incredible” honeymoon in the Caribbean, the loved-up duo are now trying for a baby “as often as they can”.
Karen said: “I invited my doctor to the wedding because none of it would have been possible without her.
“There are women out there suffering from vaginismus in silence,” Karen said.
“You can never give up. There is hope. It’s not all in your head. The condition is real, and it can be cured.
“I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”
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Posted on August 26, 2012 by Patricia Colli
I’m a huge supporter of vaginas and I’m pretty vocal about it. Whether it’s from showing (sometimes unexpecting) friends my “I’ll Show You Mine” book (yup – more on this later) to researching ways to fight female genital mutilation, I consider myself a lover and defender of them all. And ladies, I’m going to let you in on a secret that no one in the adult film or cosmetic surgery industry wants you to know: your vagina is perfectly normal and absolutely gorgeous!

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Vaginas come in all different shapes, colors, sizes and arrangements – all fantastic! A study by the Department of Gynaeology (UK) in 2004 shared the length of the labia minora of women between ages 18-50 to be 0.78 to 3.9 inches. That’s a whole lotta room for variety!
But, the labia minora is the part of the vagina that most women are concerned about. Now for a little educational image!
According to Wikipedia: The labia minora (singular: labium minus), also known as the inner labia, inner lips, or nymphae, are two flaps of skin on either side of the human vaginal opening, situated between the labia majora (outer labia, or outer lips). Inner lips vary widely in size, colour, and shape from woman to woman.
Even with all this reassuring information available, labiaplasty (the surgical altering of the labia minora) is more popular than ever. This procedure is also known as vaginal rejuvenation, labia minora contouring, labial reshaping, female genital surgery or labial reduction – they all mean the procedure of reducing the length of the inner labia or inner flaps. There is also a procedure called vaginoplasty that tightens the vaginal canal and muscles surrounding it. Some women opt for labiaplasty because they actually have discomfort due to a longer labia. That is usually not the case, though. The most popular procedure in labiaplasty is called “The Barbie” – check out our article for more info! This procedure cuts off the entire labia minora so that only the outer labia are visible, as smooth as plastic. A little much, don’t you think? There is a great documentary I want to share with you called “The Perfect Vagina,” which addresses what I’ve just been talking about. Here is the link so you can watch it (it’s about an hour long). Disclaimer: it might make you squirm!
According to “The Perfect Vagina,” women who want to get labiaplasty for aesthetic reasons are seeking a more ‘youthful’ appearance and/or want to balance out the appearance of their labia minora with the surrounding tissue. Some women claim that they have been ridiculed or teased by family members or partners. “The Perfect Vagina” blames the surgically enhanced and touched-up vaginas featured in adult magazines and films for this wave of insecurity.
There could be many more reasons why women are more paranoid about not being “normal.” For one, pubic hair has been disappearing over the last decade, with many women choosing to either shave or wax it off – we’re more exposed and aware of ourselves than ever. Women are also becoming more empowered and comfortable with their sexuality, exploring and getting in touch with their bodies – you would think that would be a POSITIVE thing, right? Not for everyone. Often, there is a disconnection between reality and what is projected by the media/adult film industry – this actually causes stress in many women because they tend to compare themselves with vaginas that have been altered without knowing it. You may want to read our other article, rightfully named “Lady Parts Under Attack.” There is a great 7-minute video in that link that SHOWS how vaginas are digitally altered for cinematography. All of this information is really depressing. So now…onto that book I mentioned before. I had been looking for a V-positive something for a while, and when I heard about the book “I’ll Show You Mine,” I didn’t hesitate to buy it. This is a book that I show boyfriends, girlfriends – anyone who will listen and look. I think every woman should have a copy.


I really just love the entire concept of this book, which was created by Wrenna Robertson (buy it here!). This pretty hardcover is 128 pages full of beauty – which is inclusive to women of all ages and nationalities and even includes a transgender V!
“I’ll Show You Mine” is a photo study of female genitalia and a window into women’s experiences of their genitals. The book contains 120 photographs of 60 women, with all women photographed from the same two positions. Each woman was photographed in exactly the same conditions and the photos are shown in the book in true-to-life size and color, as this is the best method to accurately display the diversity of female form. Accompanying each woman’s photos is text written by the woman, detailing her challenges and/or successes as pertains to her relationship with her genitals. The photos in the book demonstrate and celebrate the wonderful diversity of the vulva; the stories illuminate the range of experiences that women have relating to the genitals in a world where mass media and (adult cinematography) increasingly set the standards for sexuality and the look of all body parts, even our genitals.
“I’ll Show You Mine” is, in my opinion, really empowering. I loved reading the stories each woman had about her relationship with her vagina – we all have that relationship whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. This book is also a great way to normalize conversations about our womanly parts – which I believe needs to happen. Women in our society are made to feel that their vaginas and functions are “shameful” and shouldn’t be spoken about (see what Kotex is doing about this!) I say this from the perspective of a woman who has lived in the USA – the situation is even worse in other countries where women have less rights. I’d like to end this on a positive note. Here is an AWESOME video of Eve Ensler, creator of the Vagina Monologues, doing a TED talk about why she created the V.M. and just how important this discussion is around the world. It’s really inspiring.
For more empowering info on vaginas, women and how we can demand more appreciation from the world, check out our latest mag, The Women’s Issue!
Patricia Colli, Editor of Beutiful Magazine, is a human rights activist, equality advocate, and promoter of health, acceptance and wellbeing. Having experienced disordered eating, unhealthy exercise patterns and poor body image, she is especially passionate about shedding light on eating disorders and the power of body acceptance.
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Virgin Pussy Com