Virgin Hymen Defloration

Virgin Hymen Defloration

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t.i.

11/7/19

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On Wednesday, rapper T.I. bragged about taking his daughter on “yearly trips to the gynecologist to check her hymen,” implying that if she weren’t a virgin, the thin membrane wouldn’t be intact. Condemnation came quickly and swiftly for the “coercive” and “shaming” behavior, as some called it . In the medical community and among human rights proponents, the practice is considered unnecessary, painful and often traumatic, according to the United Nations, which called for a ban on the practice last year . One 24-year-old woman shared with The Post her own traumatic experience of having her hymen checked by her mother while growing up in Williamsburg. She declined to share her name due to the sensitive family dynamics.
The first time my mom ever checked my hymen was when I was 13 years old. I had stayed out really late, and my parents had no idea where I was. I came back home at about two in the morning after zero contact all night. My mom was a rape survivor, so it was very important to her that my first sex experience was a positive one.
But this accomplished nothing but creating fear and doubt in me.
The first thing that she did was drag me up to my bedroom, toss me onto my bed and tell me to take off my underwear. She held my legs open and looked. There was no touching involved.
The second experience, I was 14 and it was another time when I went M.I.A and wasn’t responsive to her calling me. It was probably about 6 p.m. when I got home. She had me lay down and spread my legs and looked.
That day was actually, ironically, my first kiss. But at the time, I didn’t want to lose my virginity. I wanted to have a level head on my shoulders about it.
The last time my mom ever checked I was 15, and it ended with an altercation.
We were on a cruise. And she found me late at night in the library with another girl and two guys. I was sitting on a couch with a guy at the opposite end. Nothing was happening, but she took me back to our room. When she went to check, I refused. I told her to back off.
“You can’t do this anymore,” I yelled at her. “I’m not a little kid, you can’t just pin me down to a bed and spread my legs.”
She went to strike me. [My stepdad] and my brother just looked at the water while my mother and I tussled on the bed.
That kind of attack just made me want to hide within myself more. And not share myself. It was very confusing for me too, because my mom is a very educated person, and she understands that hymens can break through horseback riding and gymnastics. And horseback riding was something I did on more than one occasion.
I had to wonder, “What is my mom’s image of me?” I felt dirty, unclean.
A lot of my experiences being with boys after that started with me hiding. When I first started [hooking up], it was usually in the school’s stairwell or public parks where you can just make out somewhere and not be scared. I couldn’t go home. I became an extremely secretive teenager. I didn’t like lying, but at the same time, I had parents who were so intense about everything that I did.
It wasn’t something I wanted to talk about with anyone, besides my best friend at the time. I felt really alone in my experience. And it kept me away [from doctors] as an adult. I didn’t go to a gynecologist till I was 21, and the only reason I went was because I needed to have an abortion. That was the first check I ever had.
My gynecologist was very sweet. She made sure I was okay the whole time, which was a breath of fresh air considering the only other experience I’d had was with my mother.
Now that I’m older, I can talk about it. I’ve heard that with rape victims and people who have survived rape, there’s this feeling of separating yourself from body. It doesn’t really feel like it’s happening to you, and it gets so pushed back and internalized. My experience was similarly traumatic.
I’ve been able to find peace with my mom. She has grown a lot. But I don’t think she thinks about the trauma she’s caused me. I don’t even know if she remembers.
When I heard about T.I., I was appalled. I was confused. It’s very controlling. You would expect a doctor to speak to the father, whether it’s T.I. or not, and explain to them why it’s not possible to see if [a woman’s still a virgin] .
When I have my own kids, I do want to be somebody who they can speak to, and I don’t want to know every detail of their sexual experience, but they should have a place where they feel comfortable. Where they don’t have to hide.

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Banished from her Yeshiva prep-school clique a teenager from Manhattan's Upper West Side decides to reinvent herself as a downtown riot girl.

by Christina Heiser Published: Dec 9, 2015
Christina Heiser is a health reporter and writer specializing in overall wellness, nutrition, and beauty and skincare; she has held previous staff positions at Women’s Health, Everyday Health, and Webedia.
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You probably haven't thought about your hymen for years. Most people believe that it covers the vag and breaks when you lose your virginity . But a new video from College Humor dispels a whole bunch of myths about the hymen. Watch a woman school two clueless dudes in the video below:
"The Truth About Hymens And Sex" - Watch Adam Ruins Everything Tuesdays at 10pm, on truTV!
Posted by CollegeHumor on Monday, December 7, 2015
Although the video is super-funny, there are some legit facts being dropped in this video—like that the hymen is actually a thin, stretchy bit around the vagina (it doesn't cover it). For most women, the hymen has an opening big enough to fit tampons , fingers, and yes, even a penis. And that whole thing about it breaking the first time you have sex? It could happen, but a lot of times, it never tears.
The biggest truth bomb in the video? "Our bodies don't come with built-in virginity detectors, and sex isn't 'supposed to hurt' the first time. But this horrible idea is everywhere in our culture." We couldn't have said it better ourselves. So send this to any guy you think needs a little education on the female body.
Why Do I Feel Burning During Or After Sex?
14 Reasons Your Vagina Is So Damn Itchy
11 Ways To Get Rid Of Period Bloating
How To Tell If You Have A UTI Or Yeast Infection
The 15 Best Feminine Wipes For On-The-Go Cleansing
The 10 Best Tampon Brands Right Now
A Complete Guide To Vaginal Discharge Colors
12 Reasons Your Vagina Hurts So Damn Much
6 Best Period Subscription Boxes For Every Need
Why Do I Have Cramps But No Period?
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