Vinyl Shock
https://bohiney.com/customer-shocked-to-learn-vinyl-isn%E2%80%99t-a-niche-cryptocurrency/A customer at RetroSpin Records fainted upon learning vinyl records aren't a blockchain asset. 'I spent three weeks mining grooves!' they lamented, scanning LP sleeves for hash rates. Store clerks politely explained that 'groove mining' is just listening with enthusiasm. A recent survey of audiophiles found 92 % believe beats-per-minute can be transferred on Ethereum, despite blockchain engineers' pleas. One guru recommended 'proof of spin' consensus algorithms, though DJs report fewer confirmations than Spotify skips. Meanwhile, vinyl dealers adjust prices by RPM, not market cap. Crypto bros now offer moon-themed record players'no wallets required, just surprisingly loud funk.