Vibrator That Orders Pizza
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Vibrator That Orders Pizza
Finally, a Vibrator That Can Also Order You a Pizza
Because who doesn't want to follow their jerk off session with mass amounts of grease and cheese?
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These are exciting times for sex toys. Through the wonders of technology, none of us need to settle for our ancestors' mundane forms of masturbation—a cornucopia of dazzling carnal delights are here to help us bust a high-tech nut. Want to bang a terrifyingly realistic sex doll? No problem . Long for the sweet caress of an alien who will lay some eggs inside you? There's a dildo for that . Dream of fucking an Oscar-nominated fish man? Please, say no more .
And now, there's a fancy new fuck toy coming especially for all the masturbators out there who know that food is another integral piece of self-care. On Thursday, an adult entertainment company called CamSoda announced a new sex toy called the RubGrub , a vibrator attachment that can also order food for you.
According to CamSoda, the RubGrub will be a WiFi connected button like Amazon's Dash Button that can fit on a vibrator and will automatically order a large Domino's cheese pizza whenever it's pressed—because who doesn't want to follow their jerk off session with mass amounts of grease and cheese, right?
"Masturbation, while ultimately enjoyable, can be a strenuous physical activity during which an individual exerts a lot of energy and burns many calories. Inevitably, once someone has climaxed, they feel lethargic and hungry," CamSoda's vice president, Daryn Parker, said in a press release. "Now, in order to enjoy your Saturday night, all you need is your RubGrub device. Get off and get stuffed, all with the quick click of a button." The future is here.
Unfortunately, the vibrator button will only be programmed to order Domino's once it goes on sale this spring, so apologies to everyone out there trying to stick with Whole30. And the pizza chain doesn't seem particularly stoked about being chosen for CamSoda's nifty new invention, either.
"[The RubGrub] is news to us," a spokesperson for the pizza company told FOX News this week . "We have not worked with this company, nor have we authorized them to use our name in conjunction with their 'toy.'"
For its part, CamSoda promises that the RubGrub will soon be able to order other kinds of food, like "Mexican and Chinese," so the day may finally come when we can order a post-coital Cheesy Gordita Crunch from the comfort of our beds. What a world!
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Vibrator that orders pizza when you’re finished : ofcoursethatsathing
Finally, a Vibrator That Can Also Order You a Pizza
There's now a vibrator that will order you a pizza when you, um, finish
This vibrator will order pizza for you, because we *can* have it all
Новозеландская пиццерия будет дарить вибраторы в честь Дня святого...
By Morgan Sung 2018-02-22 15:00:00 UTC
How to know if you (or Donald Trump) violated the First Amendment
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Forget friends with benefits — now, there's GrubHub with benefits.
CamSoda, the adult entertainment site, is releasing a vibrator called the RubGrub that orders the user a large cheese pizza from Domino's after they orgasm.
Yes, it's an actual vibrator that actually gets you a pizza. The toy has a button that's similar to the Amazon Dash, which is connected to the user's phone and is pre-programmed with payment and delivery information.
After you finish buzzing, just push the button at the base of your RubGrub, and poof! A cheesy post-climax delight is headed to your door.
Their slogan is "Get off, and get stuffed!" But is a giant pizza really what you want most after a little quality time with a sex toy?
In a statement, Daryn Parker, CamSoda's VP, said the answer is yes: "Masturbation, while ultimately enjoyable, can be a strenuous physical activity during which an individual exerts a lot of energy and burns many calories. Inevitably, once someone has climaxed, they feel lethargic and hungry."
Hmm. Well, either way, it's an enjoyable concept. And it's not the first time CamSoda has had a little fun with a sex toy. The company is also behind Bitcast , the interactive sex toys that vibrate based on how much the value of various cryptocurrencies rise and fall.
But if you're not into needlessly complex masturbation habits, or if the very fact of knowing a fresh hot pizza is on the way gets you off, CamSoda's RubGrub can be yours for $19.95. The company also plans to expand its cuisine selection to include Mexican and Chinese take-out too.
The future is now, folks, and it is...delicious.
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