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Vibrator Fist
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Pete Buttigieg Shared the ‘Terror’ and ‘Hope’ of Parenting After Both His Kids Were Hospitalized
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Kate Sloan is a writer specializing in sex, kink, and relationships. Her writing has appeared in publications like Cosmopolitan, Teen Vogue, and Glamour. She writes the award-winning sex blog GirlyJuice.net and also cohosts the acclaimed podcasts The Dildorks and Question Box . Her book 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do launches in October 2021.... Read more
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Looking for the best vibrators for beginners can be overwhelming—there’s a truly wild amount of options out there. Vibrators have existed for over a century, but it’s only in the past few decades that they’ve become a widespread, everyday component of human sexuality. Today, 78% of adult women in the U.S. own a vibrator, making it the most popular type of sex toy on the market.
It’s easy to see why: Vibrators can be used either solo or with a partner, are known to increase sexual desire and arousal , and are even a science-backed treatment for various sex-related medical issues. In other words, buying a vibe is a powerful act of self-care.
But how do you shop for a vibrator (and incorporate it into your sex life) if you’ve never tried one before? We’ve got you covered.
“I think a good place to start is to look at what kind of stimulation you already enjoy,” advises Amy Norton , a sex educator and sex toy reviewer. “If you’re into clitoral stimulation, I might suggest something like a bullet vibrator; if you’re more into G-spot stimulation, I might suggest something that’s designed for internal use. If you like both at the same time, that’s where a rabbit vibrator or dual-stimulation vibe can come in handy.” You can assess this by thinking about how you tend to masturbate and/or what aspects of sex you particularly enjoy. Grinding? Oral? Fingering? Penetration? Something else entirely?
The next thing to consider when choosing your first vibrator, Norton says, is whether you’re into broad stimulation or more pinpointed sensations. When you receive oral sex, for example, what tends to feel better for you: a wide, flat tongue pressed against your whole vulva, or the tip of a tongue tracing your clitoris or labia? This distinction can inform whether you’ll go for a big, all-encompassing vibrator, like a wand, or something slimmer, like a bullet.
Intensity of vibrations is also an important factor. It can be hard to know what you need in this regard if you’ve never used a vibrator, but Norton suggests thinking about whether you tend to prefer firm, rough stimulation (say, from a partner’s hand, or your own), or a lighter, gentler touch. If you’re not sure, or if your preferences tend to vary, she recommends getting a vibrator with multiple vibration modes and different speeds, as opposed to a classic two-speed wand (“I like to say that they have two settings: ‘high’ and ‘holy shit,’” Norton says).
Another crucial consideration is vibration quality . According to Bex Caputo , a sex educator and former sex toy salesperson, there are two main types of vibration: rumbly and buzzy. Rumbly vibration can be felt more deeply in the body, tends to cause less of the temporary desensitization some people dislike about vibrators, and is usually found in midrange to high-end toys. Buzzy vibration, on the other hand, feels more surface level, is more prone to causing numbness, and is most prevalent in cheaper toys. “If you can get your hands on a toy”—such as at a sex shop—“you can notice whether that sensation feels pleasant on your fingers,” Caputo says. If your fingers start to feel numb, itchy, or uncomfortable just from holding a vibrator while it’s turned on, the vibrations probably won’t feel good on your genitals either.
Lastly, Caputo emphasizes that it’s important to think about how you intend to use your vibrator. For example, if you’re just going to use a toy solo, you may not particularly care if it’s large or has a less-than-sexy aesthetic—but if you plan on incorporating it into partnered sex, you may want it to be slimmer or sleeker. You should also consider whether you’ll have noise constraints to contend with—like a roommate with hypersensitive ears or in-laws occasionally staying in the guest room—in which case, you may prefer to get a quiet vibe.
“Sex toys come in many different materials,” Caputo explains. “Make sure the one you get is non-porous.” Porous materials, like PVC and elastomer, cling onto bacteria and can never be fully cleaned—which, naturally, isn’t ideal for a product you’ll be using on your genitals. Look for vibes made of materials known to be nonporous, such as ABS plastic and medical-grade silicone. These do tend to be slightly more expensive, but then, having recurring vaginal infections can get expensive, too, so you may as well save up for something body-safe.
Another reason to avoid porous materials is that they often contain phthalates , a type of chemical plasticizer associated with cancer, birth defects, and skin irritation, among other things. “There are so many terrible, unsafe toys out there and it makes me very upset,” Norton says, “because they’re so often specifically marketed to beginners who don’t know any better.” When in doubt, do your research, read reviews, and stick to silicone and plastic vibes.
Provided your toy is nonporous, you can clean it between uses with water and a mild soap. It’s easiest to do this if your toy is waterproof. You can also sanitize a nonporous toy by dipping it in a solution of one part bleach to nine parts water, letting it sit for at least 10 minutes, and rinsing it very well. Typically it’s not necessary to sanitize a toy if you’re the only one using it, but you’ll definitely want to do so between uses if you’ll be sharing it with partners or want to use it both anally and vaginally.
With this expert guidance in mind, we’ve rounded up the best vibrators for beginners, below. Happy exploring.
All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
Though there are countless bullet vibes on the market, this one sets itself apart with its powerful motor, thoughtful design, and multiple vibration patterns and intensity levels. Whether you’re using it solo or with a partner, it’s sure to be a hit.
If you’re not quite sure what type of vibrator you’d prefer—internal, external, or both?—Norton recommends starting with a curved G-spot vibrator like this one. “You can use it internally, but you can also use it for clit stimulation, so it’s versatile,” she says.
The most classic of classic wand vibes, this one is particularly great because it’s rechargeable, so you’re not chained to an outlet. And if it dies midway through your session, you can just plug it in and keep going.
Asked which wand vibrator she thinks is best, Norton says, “Doxy all the way. Doxy every single time.” Said to have 30% more power than the Magic Wand, this British-made vibe is ideal for people who need a lot of stimulation. But its intensity is adjustable, so you can start on low(-ish) and work your way up.
If you think you need wand-level vibrations, but you’re not necessarily thrilled about holding a big, bulky wand head against your bits, consider throwing an attachment like this one into your cart. It focuses those thrumming vibrations into a smaller shape, which can be used to stimulate your G-spot, clit, or both at once.
The cute, friendly aesthetic of Dame products makes them feel more approachable, especially for beginners. This one has a uniquely shaped concave tip that can create either pinpoint or broad sensations, depending on how you hold it.
Caputo recommends this little vibe for solo users as well as people who want to incorporate vibration into sex with a partner, because it fits neatly in the palm of your hand. “It has a solid range of vibrations, so it goes from incredibly low to fairly powerful,” he says.
Unlike most other bullets, this one has 20 (!) different settings and some flexibility to it, which you may find more comfortable. It’s fully waterproof, so you can take it into the shower or tub next time you need some me time.
This large G-spot vibe is best “if you know you like something hefty” internally, Caputo says. That ribbed texture massages the G-spot and vaginal walls for a full-bodied sensation. The fabulously strong motor in this toy is great for external stimulation too.
The flat head of this toy is meant to locate and target the G-spot (hence its cute name). It’s rechargeable, waterproof, quiet, and has a travel lock feature, so it might become your new favorite vacation companion.
For connoisseurs of clitoral stimulation, it’s hard to go past the Eroscillator. It oscillates rather than vibrates, which can lead to deeper, stronger orgasms and less of the temporary numbness some people experience from vibrators. It comes with multiple attachments, too, so you can experiment to find the one you like best.
I sold at least a few of these every week when I worked at a sex shop, because so many people came in looking for budget-friendly beginner vibrators, and this is simply one of the best ones you can get for under $20. Made of hard plastic, this toy has a versatile shape and a dial for adjusting its speed, so you can get a sense of how and where you like to use vibration before potentially upgrading to a pricier model.
This G-spot vibe can be used either internally or externally, depending on your mood. It connects to We-Vibe’s smartphone app, so you can create and loop your own vibration patterns or even allow a long-distance partner to have their way with you via vibration. Hot!
If you like to masturbate by “riding” or grinding against things, this unusual hands-free vibe might be right up your alley. It stimulates your clit, vaginal opening, and perineum (the sensitive area between your vagina and your anus) while you rock against it.
This ultra-discreet vibe is designed to look like a USB flash drive (it charges via USB too) so it’s a convenient toy for using on vacation or on-the-go. It packs a surprising punch for such a small gadget.
If you like highly pinpointed clitoral sensations—like, say, a single finger or the tip of a partner’s tongue—then you might dig the super-focused Zumio S. It feels great on labia and nipples too.
This brand designs toys that can be used regardless of gender or anatomy. The Starsi is a whimsical and unintimidating vibe that you can use on any external pleasure spots you want.
Vibrating cock rings are designed to make intercourse more pleasurable for mixed-gender partners, by adding clitoral and penile vibration into the mix. This one can also be used freehand as a clitoral vibe, in which case the loop goes around your fingers and makes it easier to hold the toy.
If you’re intrigued by wand vibrators but don’t want to commit to a huge one, this mid-size wand is a good compromise. It’s even petite enough to be used during penetrative sex in certain positions.
Possibly the most glamorous vibe on the market, this gleaming bullet hangs on a chain like a pendant, so you can always have it at the ready. If anyone asks you where you found your gorgeous necklace, you choose whether to reveal its true purpose.
This vibe’s colorful metallic finish gives it a fun ’80s aesthetic. It doesn’t only look good, but feels good too—for such a small toy, it’s surprisingly rumbly, and boasts 10 fairly quiet vibration settings.
This waterproof, rechargeable wand massager is compact, lightweight, and controlled with just one button. So, unlike many other wands, it’s easy to use one-handed while your other hand is busy, say, touching your partner, or penetrating yourself with another toy.
Tenga Iroha toys are soft and squishy like little vibrating marshmallows, making them a good option for people with delicate, sensitive genitals. This one has a broad, rounded side and a more pinpoint side, so you can start with an all-over vulva massage before zeroing in on your hot spots.
If a partner thrusting against your G-spot is your favorite part of sex, you’ll probably love this toy—it uses internal weights and magnets to re-create that thrusting motion in a deliciously curved shape. At its fastest speeds, the thrusting can start to feel like vibration, so you might find it works well on your clit too.
This powerful vibe is wrapped in plush silicone that’s particularly well-suited for grinding against. Its curved shape cups your clit and labia, and slides easily between bodies during penetrative sex.
One of my very first sex toy purchases was this classic, slim G-spot vibe, and it served me well for years. Unexpectedly strong and rumbly for its low price point, it can hit your G-spot or titillate your clitoris, depending on how you use it.
So-called finger vibes are a wonderful option for people who find regular vibrators too bulky or obtrusive during sex. This one by Fun Factory is meant to be held between your fingers, to add some ultra-stimulating vibration to however you’re already touching yourself or your partner.
SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
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“Do you want me to buy you a vibrator?” Mom asks, holding up the Good Vibrations catalogue. The year is 1999. I am twelve. I know what a vibrator is from watching Slums of Beverly Hills —my favorite scene involves Marisa Tomei and Natasha Lyonne tossing the buzzing sex toy back and forth while gyrating to Parliament’s Give Up the Funk . “Sure!” I exclaim. We sit at the kitchen table and peruse the catalogue together, pens ready to mark which toys look most promising. Mom suggests one that’s thick and short, clear and curved and designed to “stimulate the G-spot.” I don’t know what the G-spot is nor how this device is meant to stimulate it, but Mom thinks it’s a solid, simple choice for my first vibrator, and she knows more about this stuff than I do. I’m not sure why Mom thinks I need a vibrator at age twelve, but I don’t question it. At the time, I don’t appreciate the progressiveness of the fact that she is buying her pre-teen daughter a sex toy. I take for granted how she is making my first lesson about sex about my own pleasure, prioritizing my needs over anyone else’s. I also don’t understand how the act of buying her young daughter a vibrator is intrinsically linked to my mother’s feminism. Feminism isn’t really on my radar.
As a teenager, the concept of feminism begins to embarrass me. It’s the early aughts, and "the F word" isn’t trending yet. To be called a feminist is tantamount to being called a bitch—roughly translated, it means you are an ugly female without a sense of humor, who hates men. Although my mother clearly identifies as a feminist, and though she definitely has a sense of humor and loves my dad, something intense and angry happens to her face whenever she speaks of feminist things. I decide this is uncool, and not something I want to emulate. Whenever some mean kid insultingly calls me a feminist, I feel my face flush as if I’ve been caught wetting the bed (something else I did for years beyond what was socially acceptable). Looking back, it seems I knew all along I really was a feminist, and hid behind this “cool girl” identity for fear of being found out. It wasn’t until post-college, when feminism started coming back into the public conversation, that I could finally embrace the angry feminist I’d always been in my heart. My mother’s daughter. Middle school graduation with Mom Two years before Mom buys me a vibrator, I’m ten and on vacation with my parents in Hawaii, staying at this amazing hotel with a bar in the swimming pool. One hot and beautiful day, I’m hanging out on the e
Mom Lingerie Son
Masturbating Watching Porno
Milf Mom Stocking