Very Little Girl Sex

Very Little Girl Sex
Can hardly believe I'm writing this but after a week of hardly no sleep and relationship at breaking point, I need more outside advice. My daughter turns 14 in December. At the beginning of May this year, 5 months ago, she started her first relationship. This boy is 2 school years above her, it works out about 18 months older than her. They had been "talking" on and off for about 6 months prior to going official, so by the time they went official, they were already pretty close. I met him almost immediately, we are a large, close family and I always wanted my kids partners to be welcomed and for us all to get on. Especially with her only being 13, I needed and wanted to get to know this person well, who she was starting to spend a lot with. I am a very open and honest mum and have always spoke openly with my kids about anything they wanted to talk about.. My thinking has always been, if they are asking, they are wanting to know, and if they can't ask me, they will ask someone else, who may not know themselves. I warmed immediately to this boy and he fit really easily into the family. It was like he'd always been here. I genually care about him. I spent a lot of time with my daughter and boyfriend, we all got on great. We were always chatting about anything and everything. I was able to speak openly to both of them about her only been 13 and said that they could come to me about anything and I would be supportive. They both constantly reassured me that they weren't ready for anything sexual and they felt comfortable enough to talk to me when they felt things were progressing. I must admit, I found myself stressing out numerous occasions, worrying about what if etc and when this happened, I would speak to them about what was on my mind. I truly, 100% believed that I had done everything in my power, to connect with two love struck teenagers and constantly prided myself on the fact that we had a great relationship. I felt lucky that my daughters first love, wasn't an absolute nightmare, but a boy who genually wanted us to like him and be part of the family. Last Wednesday night I was driving him home, only us two as my daughter wasn't feeling well, when out of the blue he said he needed to tell me something. He confessed that they were having sex. That they had been the entire time and he couldn't carrying on lying to me anymore. He said that by the time he met me and got to know me, they had already had sex and by the time he realised they could of actually talked to me, the lies had got bigger and it was too much. Also my daughter had promised him never ever to tell me as I would stop them seeing each other. Apparently a condom broke on them (don't even believe they have been using them) and they had to do a pregnancy test. My world literally stopped that night. I felt like I was in another universe. I can't believe this is happening to us. The amount of lies my daughter has told me, is actually unforgivable. I just can't look at her in the same way at all. We just don't lie and the amount of lies she's told me, is just totally heartbreaking. I've spoke to her once about it, I was calm, matter of fact and blunt. When I really wanted to slap her, scream in her face and call her every name under the sun. She didn't speak just listened and then went upstairs crying. The next day I took her to our doctors, who put her on the pill and I made her do a pregnancy test, which was thankfully negative. We haven't spoken since. I just can't. And she hasn't tried. My hurt is running so deep inside me, it's like its changed me and how I feel about her. I've asked the boyfriend not to come round as seeing them here together just reminds me of what I thought we all had, and the amount of lies they have told. I have still been allowing her to his house, which is causing me some dilemma. I don't want to ban them seeing each other as they go to the same school anyway, plus they are that consumed with each other, I worry if I push them apart, they may do something stupid. I just can't see a way forward at all. The boyfriend has contacted me since and strangely enough, although I'm angry and upset they have done this so young, and the lies he has told me hurt, I can actually see his point of view. He was in a difficult position and not many 15 year olds would confide in their girlfriends Mum about this, I don't think. It's just the daughter. When I'm dropping her off, I'm thinking about, am I dropping her off for sex? When I'm picking her up, I'm thinking has she been having sex. Doing her washing and seeing a mark, thinking is it semem. I feel like I'm truly loosing my mind and can't think straight. Does anyone ever accept the fact their kids are having underage sex? Anyone that has gone through this and come out the other side, I would so appreciate your advise. This is the longest we have gone not speaking and I don't know how we can ever get it back.
Hi Kirsty, sorry but reading this it really seems you are the third wheel in their relationship. I think you need to back off a little, it's done now, you can't turn back time and erase the fact they have been having sex. I think it's amazing that actually you have taken this boy in and while yes she is 13, she is having sex in a relationship and now, protected. You will never be able to stop them having sex I'm afraid unless you break them up! Which i wouldn't say is the best idea. Life is too short not to speak to your daughter. Lots of teenagers are out sleeping around and doing whatever and she isn't!
Hi, I agree with Sarah. What's done is done now and don't let this get in the way of the fantastic relationship you have with them both. At least you know him and she's in a caring and loving relationship. Would you rather it happened this way or when she was older with someone you've never met or just doing it because everyone else was. I know it's easier said than done to let it go but I'm sure she couldn't tell you as she didn't know how you'd react or she didn't want to hurt you. Talk to her and trust her, it'll make your relationship even stronger. The last thing you want her to do is to start deliberately lying to see him. My mum was devastated when she found out I was having sex. She too found out through my then boyfriend. She was more hurt I didn't tell her and I didn't tell her because I wanted to stay her little girl. And now, we're so close - I tell her everything I still even now in my thirties want to be my mums little girl and hate disappointing her x You will get through this x
I'm sorry you are going though this. I would find it very hard with a 13 year old having sex too. But I don't agree that it's the norm nowadays.
Agree with above, you shouldn't push her away now. It's done, she obviously felt too scared or ashamed to tell you. And although I thinks it's FAR to young, you've done the right thing getting her on contraception. Good on him for being sensible (ha) enough to tell you before she did end up getting pregnant, give him abit of credit for being honest. I also think if this was my daughter I would rather she were having safe sex, she's going to do it whether you like it or not. But in saying that, I can imagine how you must feel, I would want to lock my daughter in her room!!
Your 13 year old sounds to be in a wonderful relationship which is rare for their age - going on a year long! Sure they had sex, but as much as you want to be open with your mum it's pretty embarrassing to find the right time and say they've done it - especially at such a young age. They dug themselves into a hole, one came clean, and now she's protected and you're aware. So move on? She knows you're mad she lied, but honestly she was in a pretty awkward situation. Teenagers hide stuff even if they don't need to, they're hormonal and they're embarrassed and as cool as parents say they will react - they might be scared of how you will actually react when it's told. They both clearly wanted to tell you but had dug themselves into such a hole, and then when the truth finally comes out you want to slap her? You're scaring her off from telling you stuff in the future, when instead you should be saying how glad you are that the truth is out etc etc. Stop punishing your daughter for being a teenager .
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Hi Kirsty, I think you have handled the situation very well. I would be the same, absolutely devastated at the lies and deceit - more so than the act itself maybe? These types of threads are always very divisive, some people think that 13 isn't too young, as if it's happened, it's happened. Personally I think it's way too young. I know it does happen, but at 13 it's not the norm. Most teenagers that age do not have sex. You can only go with what you believe is right. Personally I would stop her visiting his house, yes they can see each other in school, but that would be enough until she is older. If they are meant to be, they will still be together in a years time when she us 15 and you might reconsider. If he is as mature as he sounds, he will be ok with this. Good luck.
Thank you everyone for their comments. Must admit some felt quite harsh but I guess that's what happens when you put yourself out there, when you are at your most vulnerable. I have taken on board people's comments regarding me pushing her away. It was just my way of not saying something I couldn't take back. So this morning I made an effort over breakfast and complimented her hair and spoke about things in general. A very small thing, but a step in the right direction hopefully. And just before the school run she shouted me into the bathroom to tell me her period had started, so I took a deep breath and went for her contraceptive pills which she now needs to start. Maybe if we hadn't chatted over breakfast, she maybe wouldn't of dared mention her period? So this morning has gone well. Small steps every day I guess.
I have to agree with Anne. My feeling is that 13 is way too young for a sexual relationship. I have teenagers too and very few ( in fact I struggle to think of any) of their friends were having sex at that age. Fifteen perhaps, but even then sexually active kids are not in the majority. Technically it's rape, as a 13 year old is not mature enough ( still being a child ) to give consent.
I have to agree with Anne. My feeling is that 13 is way too young for a sexual relationship. I have teenagers too and very few ( in fact I struggle to think of any) of their friends were having sex at that age. Fifteen perhaps, but even then sexually active kids are not in the majority. Technically it's rape, as a 13 year old is not mature enough ( still being a child ) to give consent.
Technically, it's not rape - at least it's not statutory rape. That would only apply if she were under 13. And if it's consensual, it isn't rape anyway. This is a bit of a grey area. The Crown Prosecution Service has this to say: Consensual sexual activity between, for example, a 14 or 15 year-old and a teenage partner would not normally require criminal proceedings in the absence of aggravating features. Since the OPs daughter is nearly 14 the above would probably apply. In Canada it is legal for a 12-year-old to have sex with a partner who is no older than 14. Although I have never met a 12-year-old who seemed mature enough to make that decision I'm not going to stick my neck out and say it's impossible. Probably most 14-year-olds I've met (a lot) are capable of such a decision. Fewer would decide yes. Fourteen European countries have an age of consent of 14. I would prefer to keep it at 16 and do as Canada has done - a proper close-in-age exemption to decriminalise something which is perfectly natural.
13 year olds are children . Nothing will convince me otherwise. They need our protection.
According to the Sexual Offences Act 2003, it’s a criminal offence for any kind of sexual activity to take place between two people where one or both participants is under 16.
Let's face it. If it's happening it's not going to stop because her mother says so. I would rather know what was going on within reason rather than them hiding stuff, or meeting up in alleyways or parks. You could lock her up until she's 16 as it's a sexual offence as pp has pointed out. I'm sure she will thank you in her 30's!
Are the parents the boy happy with the situation? That this lad is having sex with a child ? I would be very concerned if my son was having sex with a 13 year old.
So Sarah are you suggesting that a parent has no control over what a 13 year old gets up to? That's it's going to happen anyway, so we may as well accept it. Does the same go for a child drinking, smoking, shoplifting?
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12 yr old daughter has had sex. Help!!!
12 yr old daughter has had sex. Help!!!
12 yr old daughter has had sex. Help!!!
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"It's unfathomable on so many levels. For one, that it actually happened. For two, where it happened. For three, how often something happened," the mother said in an exclusive interview with Eyewitness News.
The woman, who asked to be identified only as Jane Doe, said her 5-year-old daughter was caught by a teacher inside a bathroom at school giving oral sex to a 4-year-old boy.
"I said, 'Where did you see this? How did you know that this was something to do? 'She said, 'I saw another little girl do it.' I said, 'Well, where?' 'Here at school.' 'When?' 'During nap time,'" the mother recalled.
Jane said investigators found no evidence of child abuse at her home. She provided us documents from the County of Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services showing the case was closed as inconclusive.
The First Lutheran Church of Carson School was cited by the California Department of Social Services for a sexual incident between kids. Jane's daughter said it wasn't an isolated incident.
"The way that she explained it, it was kind of like it was an everyday thing...from pulling the pants down to exposing themselves to, you know, trying to get somebody to put their mouth on the privates," said Jane.
Eyewitness News first broke this story on Friday when Richard McCarthy told us exclusively that his son often received oral sex at the school.
"It went down in the classroom, it went down in the bathroom, and it went down out on the playground," said McCarthy.
After seeing that story, attorney Greg Owens said more people started asking to join his lawsuit against the school and the church, so he is no longer planning to file it Monday. He is going to wait.
The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department's Carson Station says the story is prompting it to ask questions of various state agencies to see if any crimes were committed.
The school itself is set to close on Friday. School officials still haven't gone on camera, but told me off camera that they believe there were only two incidents involving inappropriate touching among the kids.
They said the school is closing because the director is leaving for personal reasons and no teacher wants the job. They insist student sex has nothing to do with the closure.
"I think they definitely tried to cover up the incidents," said Jane.
Jane pulled her daughter out of the school in October. She said her daughter is in public school now and doing better. As for Jane, the reality is still tough.
"As a mother, I tend to blame myself, thinking what if I had just asked the question, what if I could have found out somehow that this is going on," she said.

The women who sold their daughters into sex slavery

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A neighborhood in Cambodia is a global hotspot for the child sex trade. The people selling the children? Too often, their parents. CNN Freedom Project and Mira Sorvino, award-winning actress and human rights activist, investigate.
By Tim Hume, Lisa Cohen and Mira Sorvino
Photography by Jeremie Montessuis for CNN
W hen a poor family in Cambodia fell afoul of loan sharks, the mother asked her youngest daughter to take a job. But not just any job.
The girl, Kieu, was taken to a hospital and examined by a doctor, who issued her a "certificate of virginity." She was then delivered to a hotel, where a man raped her for two days.
"I did not know what the job was," says Kieu, now 14 and living in a safehouse. She says she returned home from the experience "very heartbroken." But her ordeal was not over.
After the sale of her virginity, her mother had Kieu taken to a brothel where, she says, "they held me like I was in prison."
She was kept there for three days, raped by three to six men a day. When she returned home, her mother sent her away for stints in two other brothels, including one 400 kilometers away on the Thai border. When she learned her mother was planning to sell her again, this time for a six-month stretch, she realized she needed to flee her home.
"Selling my daughter was heartbreaking, but what can I say?" says Kieu's mother, Neoung, in an interview with a CNN crew that travelled to Phnom Penh to hear her story.
Karaoke bars are a common front for child prostitution. Mira Sorvino details going behind the scenes of this illicit trade. Read more »
Like other local mothers CNN spoke to, she blames poverty for her decision to sell her daughter, saying a financial crisis drove her into the clutches of the traffickers who make their livelihoods preying on Cambodian children.
"It was because of the debt, that's why I had to sell her," she says. "I don't know what to do now, because we cannot move back to the past."
It is this aspect of Cambodia's appalling child sex trade that Don Brewster, a 59-year-old American resident of the neighborhood, finds most difficult to countenance.
"I can't imagine what it feels like to have your mother sell you, to have your mo
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