Very Good Orgasm

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It could be a full-body experience for you.
Just when you think you've discovered every type of orgasm there is to have (especially during quarantine), a new one crops up—and the latest is the potentially super-intense cervical orgasm. If you haven't heard of a cervical orgasm (or don't think you've experienced one), you’re certainly not alone. “Cervical orgasms are lesser-known than clitoral or G-spot orgasms because they’re not as common—or not as commonly recognized,” says Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., resident sexologist for ASTROGLIDE and host of the @SexWithDrJess podcast.

But what even is a cervical orgasm? "The cervix is the end of the uterus that only opens slightly for menstrual bleeding and opens much more for vaginal birth," explains Karyn Eilber, MD, board-certified urologist and co-founder of GLISSANT. So to get all the way to the cervix, it's going to involve deeper penetration (from a partner, or from a toy!) than you might be used to.
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"A cervical orgasm results from deep pressure or rubbing against the cervix that stimulates surrounding nerves," says Dr. Eilber. If you do hit those surrounding nerves, there are quite a lot of them, notes Dr. Eilber, so you could be in for a stronger orgasm. "These nerves are distributed throughout the entire pelvis, which is why cervical orgasms are described as intense and full-body."

For some people, a cervical orgasm could be a mind-blowing experience. But for others, pressure on the cervix could be less pleasurable and borderline uncomfortable. "Every vagina has a unique tilt, as does every cervix," says O'Reilly. "Similarly, any inserted object, like a penis or strap-on, will have its own angle or curve, so there are no surefire moves for cervical stimulation. You’ll have to experiment to see what works for you," she adds.
If you're up for exploring, here's how to stimulate your cervix in hopes of reaching that infamous cervical orgasm (but if you don't, no worries—you can still enjoy all the fun along the way).
The key is warming yourself up enough first (whether you're going solo or with a partner), which will mean some exterior and interior play before you move any deeper. The ectocervix, the only part of the cervix that's accessible through the vagina, is located near the back of the vagina, says O’Reilly. That’s why sometimes when you or your partner dive deep, you feel a unique sensation at the end of each thrust.
Sometimes, that contact doesn't feel so good—especially if you're not as turned on as you could be, says O’Reilly. But as your arousal heightens, the flood of chemicals throughout the body can make that deep sensation feel ahhhmazing. At that point, stimulation to your cervix can fill entire abdominal region with pleasure, O’Reilly says.
That said, there's still a chance that no matter how turned on you are, cervical contact will feel more “ouch” than “oooh” for your body. Just as some of us love a good foot rub while others can’t stand having their feet touched, cervical stimulation varies from person to person, says O’Reilly. In short, experimentation is all good, but don’t get so set on having a cervical orgasm that you hurt yourself. Keep the focus on having fun while trying something new.
There's a chance you may be able to reach all the way back to your cervix with your fingers, depending on its height and the length of your fingers, says O'Reilly. (But, Dr. Eilber points out, the vagina gets longer during arousal, so this may not really be possible).
It could be easier and more comfortable for you to experiment with a toy than your hands. "If you want to use a toy to play with the cervix, take your time getting riled up on the outside first, and use lots of lube as you explore," O'Reilly says. "Then, play on the inside in a way that feels good for you before reaching farther inside to press gently on the cervix," she says. As for a go-to toy for cervical play, O'Reilly recommends the We-Vibe Rave because of its length and asymmetrical shape. You can start out on the slowest setting and work your way up, she says.
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One way to explore the cervix if you're with a partner, especially if this is uncharted territory for you, is by having your partner use a toy on you. "This is a good way to explore together and teach them what you like, as you can hold it together to guide them," O'Reilly says.
If you're ready to take it beyond that, go for it—just note that it may feel best if you take control. "Often, folks with vaginas find that sitting on top of a partner (with a penis or strap-on) is the best way to experiment with new techniques and hot spots, as it allows them to control the depth and angle of penetration," explains O'Reilly. For other people, being penetrated from behind in a position like doggy style could help with cervical stimulation.
IIf your partner is entering from behind you, it might be preferable for you to guide the movement, particularly once you're getting started. That way, "you'll know what pressure, depth, angle and speed feel best," says O'Reilly.
The feeling of cervical stimulation, and the height of your cervix, could depend on where you are in your menstrual cycle. A few days before Aunt Flow's visit, your cervix might be more sensitive to the touch. Not to mention, when you’re menstruating, your cervix is lower, which makes it easier to reach (and maybe makes a stronger case for period sex).
On the other hand, O’Reilly finds that some people are more likely to have cervical orgasms during ovulation, or about two weeks before their periods arrive. So if having your cervix touched feels iffy but you’re still curious, try it during a different time of the month next time to see if anything changes.
No matter how ready you are to get to the good stuff, be sure to start slowly, says O’Reilly. She recommends going about your regular routine and waiting until you’re about 80 percent of the way to an orgasm before adding in some deep penetration that reaches the cervix. It's important to work your way up it.
Once you're ready for deeper penetration, the only thing you have to change at that point is making sure whatever tool you’re using—whether it’s fingers, a penis, or a sex toy—touches the cervix with each thrust. If you respond well to G-spot stimulation, consider incorporating that kind of arousal, as well, says O’Reilly (May we suggest one of these positions for maximum G-spot pleasure?).
While experimenting, you might find that you like the feeling of something touching your cervix, but you don’t love the poking sensation, says O’Reilly. Lube is going to be your friend in this scenario. When you're using a toy, especially for cervical stimulation, add some to the tip of the toy and rotate it (she suggests Astroglide's Toy 'N Joy for use with plastic, silicone, or glass toys).
During sex with a partner, lube can help ensure you're both aroused enough and comfortable. "Lubricants with CBD, such as GLISSANT’s Huile D’Amour, may help increase arousal by naturally increasing blood flow to the genital area," Dr. Eilber says.
Though it can be hard to distinguish between different types of orgasms, O’Reilly has heard people describe cervical ones as feeling especially full-bodied, like an “uncontrollable rush of pleasure between the belly button and the vagina” and like a second, more powerful sensation after a clitoral orgasm.
If you wind up having one, congratulations on reaching a personal sex milestone! "But don’t get hung up on the cervix alone," O'Reilly says. "Instead, hone in on pleasure and see where it takes you. If it leads to orgasm, so be it. And it if the pursuit of pleasure leads you back to your clitoris, that’s cool, too."
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Megan Madden / Refinery29 for Getty ImagesGetty Images
Look, we all wanna know how to have an orgasm that blows our freakin’ minds, every time. But unfortunately, it’s not always that easy.
Research shows that only about half of women consistently have a happy ending during partnered play and 9 percent have never-ever orgasmed during intercourse. (Worth mentioning: The percentage of pleasure-seekers who do consistently O during sex is significantlyyyyy higher for women in same-sex relationships.)
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Not to worry. Here, sex experts explain everything you need to know to have an orgasm, whether you’re trying to ring the bell for the first time or take your O to another level of pleasure.
Let’s start with a definition, shall we? An orgasm is "a feeling of intense pleasure that happens during sexual activity,” according to the National Health Services.
But Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven, the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shop says the definition is even broader than that! After all, orgasms can happen *outside of* sexual activity (looking at you, coregasms). Orgasms, she says, are simply an involuntary release of tension.
“For vagina-owners, orgasm typically feels like a period of tension where your heart beats faster, breath hitches, and muscles tighten followed by a release of that tension,” she explains. “Often, people will even have what feels like a rhythmic pulsing in and around their genitals.”
While orgasms vary in intensity, Searah Deysach, longtime sex educator and owner of Early to Bed, says that “for the most part, you’ll know when you've had an orgasm.”
“Stimulating different parts of the body can result in orgasms that feel different from one another,” Deysach explains. Each is named for the body-part that needs to be stimulated in order for them to occur, including:
Important: The goal in differentiating the many types of orgasms *isn’t* to create an orgasm hierarchy (lol). The goal, Deysach says, is to encourage people to experiment with their bodies to discover what feels best for them. Noted!
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“If you can get off from nipple stimulation alone, that’s great,” she says. “If you need vaginal, clitoral, and anal stimulation all at once to have an orgasm, that’s awesome too.” Every human body is unique and will respond differently to sensation. “So keep an open mind, find what you like, and go with it,” she says. “After all, an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm." True that.
Achieving consistent, mind-blowing orgasms is kind of like winning the lottery. Sounds amazing, but basically a pipe dream, right? With these little tricks, it doesn’t have to be.
In the name of boosted oxytocin, rather than saving spooning for after sex, spend some time snuggling up pre-play.
Known as the "love hormone," oxytocin might be the key to better orgasms, according to a study in the journal Hormones and Behavior. The study found that couples who received oxytocin in a nasal spray had more intense orgasms than couples who took a placebo.
Since you probably don't have oxytocin nasal spray on your nightstand (lol), try giving yourself the same jolt of the hormone naturally by hugging, cuddling, or making other gestures to show your love to your partner. Your post-cuddle O will surprise you.
According to Kerner having an orgasm requires a few key ingredients:
The best way to get these ingredients? “Gradual[ly] building up arousal rather than a race to orgasm,” he says. In other words, slow down. Trust, the end result will be worth the wait.
Jennifer Wider, MD, suggests focusing on sex positions that directly stimulate the clitoris during penetrative sex. “That can provide a consistent orgasm in the majority of [vagina-havers],” she says. Try rider-on-top, which allows you to grind your clit against your partner, or rear entry, with you or your partner stimulating your clitoris.
Another option: Stick to your fave sex positions, but get your clit in on the action with the help of a clitoral vibe. Or, take matters into your own hands by bringing your digits downstairs.
Vibrators are literally made to help you orgasm, after all. “Vibrators increase the frequency and intensity of orgasms—whether you’re alone or with a partner,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast. She suggests starting with a vibrator that will target your clitoris, G-spot, or both. A few to get you started:
Ultimately, though, the type of vibrator you try will depend on the type of stimulation you enjoy—and the type of orgasm you’re interested in exploring. A vibrating butt plug or string of vibrating anal beads will bring whole of “oh baby!” to your backside. While vibrating nipple clamps will make you tingle and giggle without any between-the-leg lovin’.
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If you feel like your orgasms have been meh or not even there lately, consider trying to time sex around your cycle. Generally, your libido peaks during ovulation— that’s about two weeks before your period shows up—so the chances of having an orgasm will go up during this time period, Wider says.
FYI: This is especially important if you’re exploring cervical orgasms. That’s because, as O’Reilly previously told Women’s Health, some people are more likely to have cervical orgasms during ovulation. If having your cervix touched feels ouchy but you’re still curious, try it during a different time of the month to see if it feels better.
No matter what sexual acts you enjoy, lube is a pretty handy tool to have in the bedroom. It reduces uncomfortable friction and allows you to “safely engage in a wider range of acts, techniques, and positions,” O’Reilly says. Not only that, it also “leads to higher levels of arousal, pleasure, and satisfaction,” she says.
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For anal play, so long as you’re not using a silicone-based toy, Deysach recommends a silicone-based lube, which is thicker than water-based ones. For all other acts though, a water-based lube is perf.
Oh, and don’t snooze on lubes’ utility for nipple play. A little dab of lube on your finger can be the difference between hand-on-nipple stimulating feeling irritating and feeling ah-mazing.
Adding a little psychological stimulation to the equation can help enhance physical stimulation, which is why Kerner recommends fantasizing on your own or with your partner. “Fantasy is also a powerful way to take your mind off other stressors or any other anxieties you may be experiencing,” he says. And, for the record, “it's okay to fantasize about someone other than the person you're having sex with,” Kerner says. (Maybe just keep that info to yourself.)
“The simple act of turning off the lights, closing your eyes, using a blindfold, or wearing sound-canceling headphones can help you to be more mindful and present during sex—and lead to bigger, stronger orgasms,” O’Reilly says. “This is because the deprivation of one sense can heighten another, so when you remove your sense of sight or sound, you may naturally tune into the physical sensations of the sexual encounter.” Before you tie an old tube sock around your boo’s eyes, just be sure to ask for consent first, K?
Sure, you shower to get clean, but take a minute or so to embrace your body when you’re in there. “It’s very simple: As you shower, rather than touching to wash yourself, take one minute to touch for sensuality and pleasure,” O’Reilly says. “Feel your skin, take a deep breath, and bask in the heat and warmth that surrounds your body.” This can help you de-stress and get in touch with what feels good to you—and that can do you a solid when you’re in bed later, she says.
“If you’ve struggled with achieving orgasm, you may find yourself in a cycle of being anxious about having an orgasm, which makes having an orgasm even more difficult,” says Deysach. Sighhh. So while it may sound counterintuitive, taking orgasm off the table (er, bed) altogether “can give your brain a rest and allow your body the opportunity to enjoy the sensation without the pressure of feeling like you need to ‘achieve’ orgasm,” she says.
Worth a try, right? As she says, “You never know, maybe not thinking about orgasm will make it easier for you to find your way.”
On a similar note, “sometimes taking a masturbation and orgasm break for a day or two can be a good ‘refresh,’” Kerner says, noting that people sometimes “report stronger orgasms during masturbation after taking a short break.” If you can, try taking sex or solo love off the table for a day or so and see where that gets you. A simple reset may be just what you need to ramp things up.
Gabrielle Kassel Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer.
Korin Miller Korin Miller is a freelance writer specializing in general wellness, sexual health and relationships, and lifestyle trends, with work appearing in Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Self, Glamour, and more.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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