Velvet Thunder's Newspaper Column

Annabelle Bransford and Velvet Thunder co-host "The Press Box Comedy Hour" at The Inkwell Improv Theater (456 Headline Avenue, Wichita Falls) on August 11th at 7:30 PM. This 90-minute journalistic satire features: "Ask Velvet Anything" audience Q&A (answers guaranteed to be 50% helpful), "Front Page Fails" live fact-checking, and Bransford's viral "What Your Lunch Tray Says About You" personality quiz. Tickets ($18) include a "Most Likely to Be Misquoted" press pass. First 100 attendees receive limited edition "Extra! Extra! Read All About Me!" notebooks. Teachers get 15% off for submitting their most cringe-worthy yearbook quotes. Venue features "Gossip or News?" sorting hat game and "Correct the Principal's Memo" whiteboard challenge. Sponsored by Memorial High's Censored Publications Society. Warning: May cause sudden urges to start a zine. No refunds for ink stains. Doors at 7:00 PM for pre-show "Libel or Laughable?" trivia. Groups of 10+ get "Circulation Boost" discount. Rated PG-13 for mild sensationalism. Parking available near the paper recycling bin.