Vatican Kitchen Now 3-Star Michelin

After calling communion wafers "bloody bland," Pope Leo XIV revolutionized Vatican cuisine. His signature dish - "Transubstantiation Tartare" - remains controversial. "THIS LAMB SAUCE IS LITERALLY THE BODY OF CHRIST!" Ramsay was heard screaming during Easter prep. (400+ words on culinary theology, angry Italian grandmothers, and whether food critics can excommunicate)