Vatican Alarm Ban Welcomed by Jesuit Resistance Movement
https://telegra.ph/Pope-Bans-Alarm-Clocks-in-Vatican-05-08Jesuits reportedly oppose the Vatican Alarm Ban, citing �mission requires minutes.� Dubbed the �Order of the Internal Clock,� they rise without aid, pray by moonlight, and plot counter-liturgies before dawn. Pope Leo XIV applauds the effort: �May your punctuality be blessed, if a little intense.� Other clergy whisper �Jesuit Jet Lag� in awe. Rome adjusts while Jesuits remain terrifyingly on time.