Variations Of Missionary
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It's easy to write missionary position off as the most vanilla sex position of all time. I mean, when you've got moves like the Corkscrew or the Reverse Scoop, it can easily pale in comparison.
But that doesn’t mean you should take missionary off the table, or resort to it only when you're feeling lazy (or ya know, hungover). In fact, there are several good reasons why it should be a regular part of your repertoire.
"Missionary sex can be hot because of the intensity it can bring on—the skin-to-skin contact, eye contact, the close-up smells of each other’s bodies, and just the mere closeness of two bodies," explains Debra Laino, DHS, a sex therapist and professor at Jefferson University and Wilmington University.
Missionary opens the door for tons of sensuality on top of the pleasure that comes with sex of any kind. Plus, because it's so basic, it's actually THE prime sex position to build from. You can adjust and modify missionary so that it fits your mood Every. Single. Time.
Missionary sex simply means that the person doing the penetrating (whether it's with a penis or a strap-on) is on top and the person receiving is lying underneath them.
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Missionary is a great starter move that doesn't require much flexibility or effort. Of course, all the thrusting stimulates the penis, says Nan Wise, PhD, a cognitive neuroscience researcher, certified sex and relationship therapist, and author of Why Good Sex Matters
So now that you get the bennies, onto the good stuff—a.k.a. making missionary sex visionary sex. Here's how:
What some might consider foreplay, Wise calls erotic play. Foreplay promotes the separation of the beginning from the main event when, in reality, it's all sex—as long as you're feeling pleasure, she says. Don't downplay the buildup, she insists, because it's super important for getting into and staying in the ideal headspace for what's to come.
So, instead of relying solely on the sensuality of missionary to make you feel connected to you partner, warm up with a some light vaginal penetration with your fingers or your partner's, says Laino. Or, if that's not your move, try oral sex as your transition to intercourse so that you and your partner can start building up the mood from the start.
"Erotic play is important with all positions," Laino says. "But because of the intensity of missionary, it’s especially nice to work into it." (Gradual = less awkward, especially with a newer partner.)
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Your breasts and nipples are two of your biggest erogenous zones, so give them some TLC. Massage, suck, clamp, or lightly pinch them during sex, suggests sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. And if it's hands-free nipple stimulation you're looking for, position yourself underneath your partner for chest-to-chest contact. This way, you can take toys and fingers out of the equation completely while your partner's chest rubs against yours as they thrust. It might even be enough stimulation for a nipple orgasm.
Don't forget to stimulate areas that aren't between your legs or on your chest. Some less obvious zones, says Wise, are your ears and neck. Ask your partner to lightly graze their fingernails against the back of your neck, or put your tongue in their ear after playfully tugging on their earlobe with your teeth.
Of course, what might feel good to you might not be a sexy zone for your partner, so get their okay beforehand or stop if they say it's not their thing.
Sex isn't a race (unless you're looking for a quickie). So, instead of rushing for an orgasm, slow down, says Wise. Focus on your breath and try to sync your exhales with your partner's. This allows you to savor the sexual sensations you're experiencing as a unit.
Or, in a move borrowed from tantric sex, you might exhale into your partner's mouth while they inhale. Not only is this hot AF, but these deeper breaths will also increase blood flow and circulation to your pelvic area, upping your pleasure, Wise says.
Still not it? Try switching up your moves while you slow down, says sex and relationship expert Jessica O'Reilly, PhD, author of The New Sex Bible. Mix up the rhythm by moving your hips in a circular motion instead of simply moving up and down, she suggests.
The best part of missionary is just how easily you can change the placement and intensity of stimulation—just by switching your body angles.
If you want deeper penetration, place a pillow beneath your lower back to prop up your pelvis, says Wise. Tilting your pelvis upward forces your partner to thrust downward and thus more deeply into you.
If you're looking for more clitoral stimulation, consider this slight twist on missionary called the coital alignment technique (CAT). To do it, have your partner move up toward your shoulders so that their penis (or the strap-on) can apply more pressure on your clitoris than usual as they enter you. Instead of thrusting in and out, your partner will grind against your pelvis.
"CAT is the single-most powerful position for two reasons," says Wise. The first is that it increases stimulation on the external clitoris, which, if that's what you're into, will send chills through your body...in a good way. The second perk of CAT is it's ability to draw out intercourse, meaning you and your partner won't orgasm after only a few minutes of fun.
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Because of the way your partner has to position their body for CAT (in order to spotlight your clit), penetration won't feel quite as deep to them, so it will them a few more thrusts (at least) than usual to climax, Wise explains. It's the perfect move for those whose partners tend to finish to soon and want to keep things going for as long as possible.
To take things up a (literal) notch, bring your vibrator into the bedroom. Use it before penetration—on your nipples, neck, back, and any other area of your body that you like to amp excitement, Laino suggests. Or when your partner is on top of you, they can lean on their knees while they're inside you and use the vibe on your clitoris, in sort of a modified missionary position, she says.
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You can even try slipping a vibrating cock ring on them to target your clitoris and help them last longer, says sex expert Rachel Needle, PsyD, a licensed psychologist in West Palm Beach and codirector of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes.
This goes for any sex position, but especially missionary, since you don't want your partner to think you think the sex is boring. "Take advantage of this opportunity to vocalize your pleasure," says Wise. If you're feeling what they're doing, tell your partner and moan (if that comes naturally to you).
"By freeing yourself to make noise, you can supercharge your sexual experience," Wise notes. Not only will hearing your own pleasure egg you on, but whispering into your partner's ear about how good they're making you feel will also give them the push they need to get more adventurous or stimulate that area you love in new ways. Win-win!
Ever heard of the Cross-Booty position? If not, no worries—here's the lowdown.
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Cross-Booty gives you the closeness of missionary but with a quite literal twist, for fun. Start with your partner entering you from the missionary position, then have them slide their chest and legs off your body so that their pelvis is in the same location, but their limbs form an "X" with yours. Bonus? This unique angle gives you ample opportunity to grab onto their back or butt while they thrust.
This one adds a little tightness and friction to increase stimulation. To do it, have your partner enter you as you lie on your back with your legs close together, then have them sit upright on top of you.
If you're flexible and need a little more to get you going, whip out The Seashell.
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For this one, you can cross your ankles behind your head, but if that's asking a little too much (fair), just bring your knees to your shoulders, suggests Wise. Now, with your pelvis angled upward and toward you, reach down with a free hand or grab a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris as your partner thrusts inside you.
Ready to take missionary's game-changing eye contact to the next level? The Spork position is for you.
While you lie on your back, raise your right leg so your partner can position their body between your legs at a 90-degree angle and enter you. Your legs will form the tines of a spork (that's a spoon-fork combo, ICYDK).
Now get ready to ride...it's your personal mission. 😉
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You'll love these sexy variations on the classic position.
In the classic version of the missionary sex position, a couple lies face to face with the penetrating partner on top and the receiving partner on their back. If you ask us, classic missionary gets a bad rap. Sure, it's "traditional," but there's also a lot to love about it: the intimacy of having your faces close together; the opportunity for making out; the fact that no one's going to pull a muscle trying to pull off any complicated sex moves. The receiving partner might also appreciate having their lover's weight on top of them—either from a power play perspective...or, you know, an anxiety-reducing, gravity-blanket-wearing perspective. It's so versatile!
That being said, any sex position gets boring if you do it over and over again, missionary included. If you love missionary but want to mix things up a bit, a small tweak to the position can go a long way. If the receiving partner is used to having their legs flat against the bed, they can play around with tucking their knees toward their chest. (If they have a vulva, this adjustment could make it easier to stimulate the area of the internal clitoris known as the G-spot!)
But that's just one twist on the classic missionary position—there are so many ah-maaazing configurations that put the penetrating partner on top and the receiving partner on their back. Here are 11 of our all-time favorites. (And once you've exhausted the options on this list, the receiving partner can climb up top and try out some of these cowgirl sex positions.)
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How to do it: In the classic version of missionary, the bottom (receptive partner) lies on their back. The top (insertive partner) lies on top. The bottom partner's legs are placed besides the top partner's shins.
Classic Missionary With a Vibrating Cock Ring
How to do it: It's the same as classic missionary (see above), but the insertive parter wears a vibrating cock ring—like this one from Lovehoney.
Why it's good: Not only can cock rings boost the size and strength of an erection, but the vibrations can also feel good on the receiver's clit.
How to do it: From regular missionary position, the bottom wraps one of their legs around the top's back.
Why it’s good: This allows for deeper penetration. The bottom can position themselves so the top's penis or dildo really hits their G-spot.
How to do it: From regular missionary, the bottom wraps both of their legs around the top's back.
Why it’s good: This allows for even deeper penetration than the jackknife! And if you you want even deeper penetration in this position, try placing a pillow under the bottom’s lower back. (This position is particularly great if the top isn't well-endowed.)
How to do it: In this missionary variation, the top is standing next to the bed to penetrate their partner. Note that there are variations of the Stand and Deliver, and the person being penetrated can choose to put either zero, one, or both of their feet atop the insertive partner’s shoulders.
Why it’s good: This is a position that's great for manual clitoral stimulation. The bottom partner can easily place a little vibrator on their clit for extra pleasure.
How to do it: This is just like Stand and Deliver, only the penetrative partner holds the bottom’s ankles during penetration.
Why it’s good: Another very solid position for deep penetration, making it great for folks on the smaller side.
How to do it: It’s like classic missionary, only both the top and bottom keep their legs pressed and closed together.
Why it’s good: With your legs together, this position is less about in-and-out penetration and more about the receiving partner wiggling their hips while staying inside. If the receiving partner has a vulva, all that hip-wiggling will naturally stimulate their clitoris.
How to do it: From the classic missionary position, the bottom partner rests their feet on the top’s chest.
Why it’s good: This position allows the bottom partner to control the depth of penetration. If the top goes too deep, the bottom partner can simply push their feet against the top's chest.
The CAT (Coital Alignment Technique)
How to do it: The CAT (Coital Alignment Technique) may look identical regular missionary, but it slightly differs in important ways. Instead of thrusting away, the top partner should focus more on grinding their body against the receiving partner's clitoris.
Why it’s good: That direct clitoral stimulation will increase the likelihood of both of you getting off!
How to do it: Make sure the receiving partner stretches those hamstrings first! From regular missionary, the bottom leans back and drapes their legs over the top's shoulders.
Why it’s good: This configuration allows for super-deep penetration and G-spot stimulation.
How to do it: The receiving partner lies on their side while the top straddles their bottom leg. From there, the bottom beds their upper leg around the top's waist.
Why it’s good: This one is fun because the top has access to nearly every part of the receiving partner's body. They can grab the booty, touch the clitoris—you name it!
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Variations Of Missionary
