Vagina Dentata Bioweapon
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Vagina Dentata Bioweapon
Published on October 6, 2020 October 8, 2020 by Jamie Chaos
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In interacting with people online from time to time, it occurred to me I could pile some of the conversations into an Ask the Asshole or three for you. Tragically, the disgrace many of you have publicly displayed in your insipid conspiracy theory-laden social media posts has necessitated a spate of unfriendings, which are then followed with message deletions as the aggrieved, ignorant, craven fuckers then blast me with a litany of messages beseeching me to bestow my attention on them, all of which go unread and deleted because collecting imaginary friends on the internet is dumber than collecting toilet paper. Both of those things seem to be far more popular than they should be, which points again to the fact that the popularity of a thing is often an indication of how much it truly sucks (technology being an obvious exception, though fidget spinners and Shakeweights enfeeble even that caveat).
The most frequent question with which I am faced is one that I feel I’ve addressed pretty significantly, if piecemeal:
“What is your opinion on BLM/riots/Covid etc?”
These questions often come with some rebuke regarding my personal pride and honor, as it seems a lot of you are mad as shit I haven’t gone to the effort of penning a 10000 word essay about why 90% of the American population would vanish and the remaining 10% would only notice their absence in the inconvenience it represented from a labor standpoint and that there were no surly fat people shooting up Walmarts and babbling about the Constitution and Bible (neither of which they’ve read, nor could they comprehend them if they had). Truth be told, I’ve got two or three articles on the subjects of conspiracy theories, fundamentalism vs mysticism, and the fact that although Republicans talk hard and claim they’re some kind of fit-as-shit super race of hardy men without whom the world cannot live, their actually intellectually inferior fat people terrified of change and virtually incapable of being decent human beings. The reason I haven’t finished them isn’t fear, as many of you hilariously posit, but disappointment and disgust, because once I learned that only about a third of you can even understand half of what I write, my essays would be ignored by the very people I wish I could reach… but not enough to make a fucking Youtube video about it, because frankly Youtube videos do more social harm than good.
The short version is: The answer should be obvious, because unlike EVERY OTHER MOTHERFUCKER IN THIS INDUSTRY, I AM EXACTLY WHO I CLAIM TO BE . I don’t make claims I can’t back and I don’t live differently than my site or social media indicates. And I’ve never claimed to be a fucking life coach, so I’m not out there trying to tell you people how to live your lives. I’d just rather people didn’t live them unintelligently, craven, and weak, but at the end of the day that is up to all of you, not me.
So what I am going to do is give you a quick and dirty rundown of my opinions on current events because I have been asked too many times for me to tolerate, and it’s not as though I’ve ever dissembled with any of my personal opinions.
Your weakness sickens me. I don’t wish you dead, but I don’t wish you the best, because you are exhibiting signs of being a very panicked herd animal with a very low intellect, spooked by the sounds of other halfwits you don’t know who’ve been spooked by the same. Conspiracy theorists are a herd of idiots in need of a daddy figure whom you can blame for any and all things that go wrong in their lives.
For some people it’s the church, or the corporations, or the aliens, or the military-industrial complex, or the secret societies, and all of that just arises out of a need for someone to blame, because people who believe conspiracy theories are considered even in medical literature to be a group who is to a person mentally weak to the point they cannot deal with a world in which bad shit randomly occurs to people for no reason whatsoever. They look for a reason on the internet, and because they have terrible reading comprehension and don’t understand shit about the world around them despite having access to more information than any humans in recorded history, they are easily led to the wrong conclusion by other idiots who are looking to make a buck off of the ignorance of their fellow weaklings and morons.
The above statements are not opinions- they are documented facts (Moyer) in the scads of research into trying to understand why you motherfuckers like blaming bad shit that happens on you on shadowy conspiracies about as much as you like making your female partner cum during sex (though I very seriously doubt that the 30% in the shadowy conspiracy crew are also the ones making broads cum, as good sex generally involves intelligent people, not halfwits).
For some people, the conspiracy lies solely within the confines of the eeeeeeevil gubmint, because they are repeating the opinions of poor settlers from the British Isles who repeated their dad’s opinions dating all the way back to the fucking 13th century. Guess what? It’s no longer the 13th century and everyone can calm the fuck down about “taxation without representation,” as governments are so accountable in the modern era that real fuckery is virtually impossible. Plus, unlike governments of the pre-modern era, OUR GOVERNMENT ACTUALLY DOES A HELL OF A LOT WITH OUR TAX DOLLARS. How the fuck do you think yuo hydrate yourself or get to work or do literally anything else? The government made it possible. The evil, scary government who is STEALING all of your money because it’s all evil socialists who have no money of their own and need the money ripped from the sweaty, fat fists of hard-working Republicans who in no way suck up way more fucking tax dollars than they contribute, because they’re certainly not hillbillies on the dole- they’re Captain Kid Fucking Rock America.
“An Associated Press Fact Check finds it’s actually the other way around. High-tax, traditionally Democratic states (blue), subsidize low-tax, traditionally Republican states (red) — in a big way” ( Associated Press ).
Funny how your thank you cards keep getting lost in the mail.
Red states pay into the federal system far less than they take. In some cases, by less than half. That means that those fat illiterates are demanding two bucks back for every dollar they give the government, then BITCH ENDLESSLY ABOUT HOW THEY’RE BEING ROBBED . It’s the blue states being robbed by the fatties in the flyover states and their horrendous, overfed, uneducated crotch goblins, which they brought into the world without any money or reason because red staters refuse to allow people to get abortions BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO PAY FOR THEM. Those sorry ass red hatted limp dicks DON’T PAY FOR SHIT, so no one gives a fuck about their opinion about the final resting place of money stolen from hard-working liberals.
“Mississippi received $2.13 for every tax dollar the state sent to Washington in 2015, according to the Rockefeller study. West Virginia received $2.07, Kentucky got $1.90 and South Carolina got $1.71.
Meanwhile, New Jersey received 74 cents in federal spending for tax every dollar the state sent to Washington. New York received 81 cents, Connecticut received 82 cents and Massachusetts received 83 cents.
California fared a bit better than other blue states. It received 96 cents for every dollar the state sent to Washington.
On average, states received $1.14 in federal spending for every tax dollar they sent to Washington. That’s why the federal government has a budget deficit” (Ohlemacher).
And fuck me running- learn about why you hate things rather than just hating them because your dad said so or a Youtube “documentary” said some bullshit. And this just in- Youtube is not a valid source for information most of the fucking time.
Modern government is a fucking popularity contest- as a general rule, draconian rule of any kind isn’t popular. Those guns your 13th century opinions tell you that you need are no longer necessary for a wide array of reasons ranging from WE HAVE POLICE to IF YOU SHOOT THE POLICE, YOU WILL GO TO ALL THE JAIL to VERY FEW PEOPLE IN THE US CAN READ LIKE AN ADULT, SO THEY PROBABLY SHOULDN’T GET ALL THE PRIVILEGES OF A REAL ADULT. Really, the reasons for better gun control (no one said ban, fuckface- I just don’t like the idea of people who effectively think like two year olds pointing an AR15 at my back on line at the fucking store) are too numerous to discuss and involve more history and political science than the people who need it can absorb, so I’m not going to get that deep into it.
If you people are so desperate to have the ability to shoot black teenagers for walking down your street or for your kids to have the opportunity execute their classmates and themselves, I guess that’s how you’re going to roll. I wouldn’t expect you to put your energy into parenting the kids who will likely shoot themselves with your weapon, because it’s not like you’re going to fucking teach them to read anyway. In the end, however, fuck you twice for making the world shittier in two different and deeply impactful ways.
I highly doubt Antifa is much more than a loose association of people who want to riot. Rioting is stupid, but most of the shit you people do is stupid as well. If I had to pick a side I’d just keep picking my own, but if I had to blaze with one side or another I’d pretty obviously pick Antifa. They’d not be pointing a rifle at me out of unending panic, I’d never have to hear a single word about liberal Satanist sex trafficking cults, and I’d never have a simpleton try to convince me that Ayn Rand was either a good writer or a laudable philosopher.
I keep getting asked my opinion about Covid. It’s hard to have an opinion about an infectious disease beyond not desiring to contract it, but as people are halfwits I’ll entertain this. Do I believe it exists? Of course- it is a worldwide event. Faking a global phenomenon is beyond impossible, despite what people with lukewarm IQs contend on Youtube. Additionally, if it’s all an evil liberal hoax it seems my 25 year old ex girlfriend was a badass crisis actor all along, because she went so Daniel Day Lewis in her acting that she died of Covid. Thus, I am doubly against Covid.
No one likes wearing the fucking masks, you pussies. They’re not a liberal contrivance, no matter how many times illiterates claim otherwise. And if you’re one of the dumb fucks saying they’re useless, you should have paid more attention in high school. We covered disease spread in AP bio, which I distinctly recall because I got to read Hot Zone for school and was shocked at how rad and gory the book was (at the time I thought Steven King was the end-all be-all of sci fi horror). Thus, I cannot “link you to the research” because high school lacks hyperlinks, and there’s no link to not being a useless fucking idiot. If you can’t understand that it’s preferable to have a disgusting stranger shart in your face while wearing pants as opposed to them sharting in your face without one, then you’re too fucking stupid to understand the utility of masks anyway (which I’d assume anyway because the primary complaint is that they’re not 100% effective, which means they’re worthless. Christ almighty I fucking hate you people.)
Pretend you’re from Missouri and fucking show me- no one gives a fuck what your opinions are if there’s no action (and it’s a figure of speech- no need to call the cops on a black person for ordering a coffee or cheering the death of an unarmed black person). And most of the time your opinions are stupid even then, but at least you did something about them.
If you think something needs fixing, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. You want to make the world a better place? THEN FUCKING DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT SO. Because from where I am standing, some of you people are mostly talk and almost all of you are all fucking talk. And keep your weaksauce conspiracy bullshit to yourself or just hang it the fuck up, because you might be beyond saving.
There. I fucking ranted. Happy? If not, I guess you should go shoot up a high school about it.
Moyer, Melinda Wenner. People drawn to conspiracy theories share a cluster of psychological features. Scientific American. Mar 2019. Web. 11 Feb 2020. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/people-drawn-to-conspiracy-theories-share-a-cluster-of-psychological-features/
Ohlemacher, Stephen. AP FACT CHECK: Blue high-tax states fund red low-tax states. Associated Press. 9 Dec 2019. Web. 6 Oct 2020. https://apnews.com/article/2f83c72de1bd440d92cdbc0d3b6bc08c
Ah, now that’s the Jamie we all know and love. Will there be another “Your Fat Is Your Fault” entry in the near future? Nothing gets me quite so pumped up and motivated as reading your blistering takedowns of people who are noseblind to their own bullshit.
Jamie, you have been ranting a lot about red staters and republicans ever since you were exposed on Getbig.com for doing gay porn. I wouldn’t be ripping others when there are photos of you getting your ass eaten by a dude.
If I’d been embarrassed about it, I’d probably not have done it, champ. Ever give that some thought? Here i thought it was Reddit who was searching gay porn, but it’s the super straight guys over at GetBig, where they eyehustle men like they’re straight dudes in a strip club. I guess it’s lucky you guys all want to blow me on the DL then, haha.
This is a wonderful sit for those interested in the iron game. I try to overlook the gay themes and the obsession with blood and gore, obviously this guy Jamie has a few screws loose, but he is very knowledgeable on the iron game. IF you come here just for bodybuilding, powerlifting, Olympic lifting or other aspects of the fitness game, even some articles on martial arts, fighting sports, boxing, etc., it is a great site.
Do you feel the rioting is driven by a communist and/or marxist ideology? If so, do you feel it’s a good thing and what do you think their end-game is? Im not an overweight red-hat wearing trump worshipping pussy, so don’t make another blog post please lol. Just a normal dude who isn’t buying into the movement’s advertised goal of racial equality.
There is no real “movement”- this is kind of like the Spanish civil war. The people trying to effect change are probably more anarcho syndicalists than communists or socialists (and there is a fairly massive difference), but rioting in general is a very ineffective method for achieving social change. The first weekend made the point, but the rest is basically just like the shit people do in response to a world championship in soccer or whatever. If anything, the ideology is simply anti-government, not anti-capitalism.
To give you a short answer, the answer is no. Traditional Marxists and Communists are far too intolerable to get large support and are more or less ineffectual mouthpieces who regurgitate century-old philosophy they cannot understand. They’d struggle to overthrow a kindergarten class. The majority of leftists in the country are social democrats, which are NOT socialists. Socialist/communists want a revolution (a global one, which is beyond a pipe dream) that destroys all of the old institutions of feudalism and whatever (again, antiquated thought processes, like the 2A people who have no idea why they have the opinions they have) and social democrats want a soft “revolution” that simply does more of what the government has already done under every president from FDR on.
As a communist, a marxist, I think you are very wrong. It will be interesting to see how the future reveals itself because I think there is only mounting turbulence until the crisis is resolved. By resolved I mean the end of capitalism or the end of humanity.
Can’t wait for “the vaccine will turn us all Muslim and queer, but the anti-vaxxers are the idiots, not me.”
Well, there are my opinions, for the most part, summed up in an article.
We have gotten to the point where Jamie Lewis is one of, if not the most, level-headed person in the industry. And this goes for both training AND.. fuck, i don’t even know the words here. Something with integrity.
Keep shit up! You are an inspiration (to a completely average father of two who just likes to train).
Hahahaha. The people who actually like to train are the people I’ve been ai
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