Vagina Club
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Vagina Club
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Well that is until you read these stories, which are enough to make you see all your equipment in a whole new light.
Yes, it turns out there is more that you can do with your vagina than you might have thought at first. That’s not to say you would want to do them, but rather that you can if it really tickles your fancy.
We’ve scoured the internet, and here are 10 of the craziest things women are doing with their vaginas!
Yep, you heard us right! There is now a divide that allows you to FaceTime people from the inside of your vagina. Clearly invented for times when it just wasn’t enough to get naked for your long-distance lover, the Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator comes complete with a high quality camera and lights. That way, you can capture all the amazing (and apparently sexy) photo and video content you could ever need.
We may have all been impressed at the ability of our lady parts to take a wide load (hello childbirth!) but there aren’t too many women who tested its storage abilities like Josephine McAllister. This Albuquerque woman was booked on charges that included trying to bring a gun to jail inside her vagina.
She got rid of the run once inside, but her excuse when later caught was that she was carrying the gun in her waistband, and it slipped and fell inside her vagina. Yeah. Right.
If you’ve ever wanted to give your foetus a live concert while they’re still in the womb, and those belly speakers just aren’t cutting it, the Babypod should be your next purchase. Babypod is an internal speaker, designed by a Spanish company, to be inserted into the vagina to play music and stimulate your foetus. There are lots of studies to confirm the possible effectiveness of music on babies in the womb, and mums can even co-listen with split headphones. Groovy!
It’s the kind of thing we might have had nightmares about when we started using tampons, but it turns out that it actually happened. A report in the Journal of Sexual Medicine brought attention to the case of an (unnamed) woman who went to the doctor with issues relating to incontinence, weight loss and lethargy.
It turns out she had a sex toy inside her, which had been stuck there for 10 years . The toy was removed by surgeons, who noted that the woman had near life-threatening damage. Alcohol was found to be the cause of her having ‘forgotten’ the toy in the first place.
This is one strange technique that has been made (in)famous by Gwyneth Paltrow and her lifestyle website Goop. According to them, vaginal steaming is a must-do if you’re hoping to detox your vagina, stimulate the production of milk, correct digestive issues, and protect from both ulcers and tumours. All you do is sit on a little throne and have various plants steamed into your bits. Sounds crazy? The experts certainly think it is, with a number of gynaecologists pointing out that as the vagina is self-cleaning, the procedure is a complete waste of time.
Vaginal steaming was an oddity on the lips of many in recent years, but it may yet be overshadowed by an even stranger product. They’re called Herbal Womb Detox Pearls, and while they sound like someone tripped over a translator, they’re actually small balls of perfumed herbs that are inserted into the vagina. The company that makes them claims they ‘detox’ the womb, promote vaginal tightening, and flush out toxins. However, experts have issued warnings over the possible dangers of the pearls in actually promoting discomfort and infection.
If you were looking for a new hobby, it turns out that vaginal knitting is a thing now… kinda. A woman named Casey Jenkins, who describes herself as a ‘performer craftivest’, from Melbourne, hit internet fame when she posted a video of a performance she called “Casting Off My Womb”. In the video, she knits using wool that has been inserted in, and then drawn out from, her vagina. The project took place over 28 days, including her menstruation, staining the wool a brown red in part of the finished project.
A couple in South Africa, having an incognito love affair without the knowledge of their partners, found themselves with way too much fame, thanks to the woman’s vagina. After having sex while her husband was away, Sasha Ngema, aged 34, and her tomboy lover, Sol Qoboza, aged 22, became locked together.
People flocked to see them after a rumour spread that the woman’s husband had asked a witchdoctor to put a curse on his wayward wife, but experts believe that it’s much more likely that her vagina had contracted too much, a condition known as penis captivus.
A man advertising himself as a ‘ghostbuster’ in Guangzhou in the Guangdong Province in China was arrested after he apparently charged a young woman 20,000 yuan (more than $3,000) to exorcise ghosts in her vagina .
The woman had come to the man to get help in seducing her boss, but he managed to convince her that he wouldn’t fall in love with her because the ghosts in her vagina were blocking his advances. How did he propose to get rid of those ghosts? By catching them with his penis, of course.
Think your lady parts are strong? Sure they’ve pushed out babies, but have you ever really tested them? Sex expert Kim Anami has. The intimacy coach who is known for teaching ‘vaginal kung fu’, among other things, has achieved fame on Instagram with her hashtag #ThingsILiftWithMyVagina.
The photos show her demonstrating her unique abilities, and lifting heavy objects with her bulked vaginal muscles. Hey we understand that strengthening pelvic muscles can be a lifesaver, but maybe this is a lift too far…
A vagina can be many things aside from getting stuck with a penis. It also evolves along with technology and you just can’t imagine what other crazy things women do with their vaginas that we have not known of. But, let’s leave it in a diary or so.
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A passionate writer since her early school days, Oceana has graduated from writing nonsense stories to crafting engaging content for ... Read More an online audience. She enjoys the flexibility to write about topics from lifestyle, to travel, to family. Although not currently fulfilling the job of parent, her eight nieces and nephews keep her, and her reluctant partner, practiced and on their toes. Oceana holds a Bachelor of Arts with a major in Writing and Indonesian, and has used her interest in languages to create a career online.
She's also the resident blonde at BarefootBeachBlonde.com , where she shares her, slightly dented, wisdom on photography, relationships, travel, and the quirks of a creative lifestyle. Read Less
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The year 2017 was a rough year for vaginas. Between constantly facing threats to limit access to reproductive and sexual health care to being bombarded with terrible advice regarding what to stick up there (cucumbers, glitter, jade eggs , VapoRub, wasp nest and far too many others) to living under a president who bragged about grabbing them, people with vaginas have had a lot to think about. On the bright side, though, we brought the word out of the shadows (it’s a legitimate medical term after all) and went one step further, clarifying that there’s a difference between the vagina, vulva and labia (despite the fact that they’re typically grouped together).
Aside from succumbing to the barrage of vaginal quackery out there ( ahem, Goop ), we now know a bit more about some of the other missteps in that area — specifically, objects people got stuck in their vaginas that landed them in the emergency room. The source of this information is the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System — a database listing the reasons behind ER visits compiled by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.
The latest information available is for 2016, and here are some of the more unusual findings:
A woman was masturbating using the handle of a hairbrush, which broke off and was lodged inside her, prompting a hospital visit.
While at home eating a lollipop, the stick broke off; so one women put the stick inside her vagina.
Following doing cocaine using a straw, a woman inserted the drinking straw into her vagina when the police arrived.
A woman hid a plastic baggie of marijuana in her vagina. (The report did not specify whether it was Ilana from Broad City .)
Somehow, a woman got the top of a spray bottle stuck in her vagina, then attempted to take it out at home.
A 12-year-old girl was playing with clay in the bathtub and got it stuck in her vagina.
No additional details on this one, but it was probably a makeshift dildo.
This is a tricky one because the object stuck in there actually is approved for use in vaginas. The problem arose when the string holding 15 balls together dissolved and the woman could only locate 14 of them.
Yes, this sounds straight out of an episode of Seinfeld , but in reality, a woman inserted a non-birth control sponge into her vagina so she could swim while she had her period.
Another makeshift dildo situation, which did not have a happy ending.
And remember: There are plenty of things that can go inside your vagina, so please stick to items on this doctor-approved list and enjoy yourself — safely.
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