Vagina Beer

Vagina Beer
Vagina Beer Is Here And It's Just As Gross As It Sounds
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By Emily Blackwood — Written on Jul 22, 2021
In today's segment of things you wished you never learned, we present to you: vagina beer. Yes, that's beer made from bacteria found inside your vagina. And, yes, we also just threw up in our mouths a little too.
In 2016, "Bottled Instinct" promised to "capture the essence of femininity," by taking lactic acid bacteria and combining it with water, malt, hops, wooden chips, and yeast to craft what they were calling a delicious brew.
And though it's made from vaginas, the product's creator, The Order of Yoni , promises no vaginal smell or taste. Thank god.
Now, The Order didn't grab some rando-vagina off the streets, mind you. According to their questionably sexist campaign video, they searched high and low for a woman who " personifies femininity, natural charm, and lure." Please try to hold your gags until the end. It gets worse.
Czech model Alexandra Brendlova was the lucky lady being used to kick start the product — which, by the way, the company had been attempting to raise $170,000 for. The search took quite a bit of time because apparently, it's hard to find the kind of woman whose "pheromones will stay with you."
As it turns out, The Order's vagina standard is pretty high. The company is making any potential models who want to use their vaginas for beer production (I'm sure there are tons) sign a contract that will penalize them for working in the adult industry because apparently, that would affect the quality of a woman's vagina bacteria. Riiiiiiiiight .
Plans for future beer included bacteria from women with specific hair colors, and if you support the campaign by donating $11,000, The Order would create an especially romantic beer made from your girlfriend's vagina. Yeah, because what we really want is for you to drink us (and maybe even play a round of vagina beer pong).
Fast forward to 2018 and the beer made its debut in Katowice, Poland — and it was even on sale.
And people had their opinions. One of the drink's first taste testers said, "People will try it out of curiosity, but I don't think it will be a regular addition on the table for beer lovers. " Well, that's good to know. (Insert sarcastic eye roll.)
And the company's founder, Wojtek Mann, opened up about how the beer is actually made. As you can probably guess, this is where things get particularly icky. "Using hi-tech microbiological techniques, we isolate, examine, and prepare lactic acid bacteria from the vagina of a unique woman," Mann said.
And, surprise, surprise, Mann wasn't able to raise enough money from his campaign to fund the making of the beer (we're willing to bet that people were more grossed out than intrigued) but was instead backed by a single investor.
Mann said, "We managed to find an investor who believed in this project and supported us financially."
There you go, everyone. As long as you can find one person who believes in your dreams, then you can make them happen. Now, if you'll excuse the rest of us, we need to go find some brain bleach. Stat.
Emily Blackwood is an editor at YourTango who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, relationships, and everything in between.
The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. See additional information
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This beer is made from vaginal bacteria. Yes, you heard us right. The lady bits of Czech model Alexandra Brendlova have been swabbed. The lactic acid bacteria separated, cleaned, and multiplied for use in a culture starter kit then combined with water, malt, hops, wooden chips, and yeast. The resulting mixture is beer. Okay well, maybe it’s not that simple, but the fact is vagina beer exists and we suggest you not shy away from this one.
Embracing femininity into a stereotypically masculine beverage has all of us ladies jumping for joy. Though The Order of Yoni ’s (“yoni” meaning “vagina” in Sanskrit) campaign for Bottled Instinct is highly sexualized under the idea their beer is like having or drinking a woman but in beer form, we recommend you bear with us. All jokes aside, these people were able to take bacteria from the human body and transform it into beer. Science for the win.
The Order of Yoni uses the bacteria in the production of sour ales, lambies, flanders ales, and sour stouts. The golden beverage is contained in a long necked black bottle with golden lettering and labels. For those interested to know, the collection date of the bacteria is also printed on the bottle. If funded, they plan to offer other beers using bacteria from different types of women to satisfy everyone’s fantasies.
If you’re on board with The Order of Yoni, consider donating to their cause to get vagina beer on the market. If you’re not, well at least you now know vaginal lactic acid has been successfully turned into a beer.
Sara is Drink Me’s ‘Editorial Manager’. If there’s something hot out there that you need to know about, she’s on it. If there’s a latest release that’s just hit the shelves, she’s covered it. With a passion for the Drink and a career in the world of writing, it doesn’t take long to get lost in her words and creative writing voice while learning about your latest, greatest and favorite tipples!
If you’ve got an item you think should be showcased hit us up at editorial@drinkmemag.com.

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If there are two things we love in this world, make no mistake: they are beer and vaginas. But up until now, you’ve had to choose, because it’s physically impossible to enjoy both without making a mess.
Gentlemen, let us introduce you to the Order of Yoni —the first brewing company that produces beer from vaginas. Yes, you read that correctly.
This beer is partially made from the essence of a woman’s vagina, or better known as vaginal lactic acid bacteria. The first batch of beer, which probably we won’t be tasting because we don’t live in Europe, is being made from lactic acid bacteria of a smoking hot Czech model, Alexandra Brendlova .
“We were looking for an inspiration, a model who is both beautiful, charming girl and intelligent, eloquent woman,” Wojtek Mann, the founder of the company, told Maxim. “I really appreciate her way of speaking, and I find her body language, the way she walks, very sexual.”
But before you go stockpiling, there some financial aspects that remain unsolved. Order of Yoni’s InieGoGo page has risen only €279 out of €150,000 goal.
If you decide to donate, Mann offers you to taste your own girlfriend only for €10,000. You’ll get a voucher for 60 bottles of beer produced on your girlfriend’s vaginal bacteria.
We’ve got our fair share of skepticism of how that would actually taste, but hey. It’s your call.

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And the bacteria comes from a model's vagina, because of course it does.
Great news! You might soon be able to purchase and drink beer that's brewed with (totally clean, totally safe) bacteria swabbed from a woman's vagina, because why bro out and drink normal beer when you could man up and drink beer that makes you stop and think, after each refreshing sip, about vaginal bacteria?
In order to be as douchey as possible, the company behind the vagina beer refers to itself as the Order of Yoni ("yoni" is Sanskrit for "vagina or womb"). And so as not to taint the mouths of noble, beer-drinking men with vaginal bacteria from a regular old frumpy woman who probably wears khakis and farts or whatever, the Order of Yoni is strictly using vaginal bacteria from a super-hot Czech model, who apparently "possesses all of the instincts which [they] wanted to frame" in their vagina beer. From the detailed descriptions on the Order of Yoni's website, and from watching the promo video about six times, it's still unclear what exactly they mean by "instincts."
But at least you'll know when, exactly, someone stuck a swab up this woman's vagina to grab some bacteria to be used in beer brewing, because each bottle will be dated with the date she was swabbed for that particular batch.
If you're like me, sitting there, staring at your screen wondering, Why? WHY? I'll try to explain using the Order of Yoni's words . Let's first set the scene:
Imagine woman of your dreams, your object of desire. Her charm, her sensuality, her passion… Try her taste, feel her smell, hear her voice… Imagine her massaging you passionately and whispering into your ear everything you want ...
OK sweet. You imagining that? Let's move forward:
Now free your fantasies and imagine that with a magic wand you can close it in one bottle of beer.
Far fetched, I know, but try to stick with me here:
Imagine the beer which every sip is a randez-vous with this hot woman of your dreams… she hugs you and kiss you gently, looking straight into your eyes… How much would you give for that beer?
Wow! Super stuff. Why interact with a woman IRL when you could just drink beer that contains microscopic particles that were once inside of a woman you'll never meet? Truly a spectacular idea that does not at all make me want to throw my computer across the room.
If you're just itching to buy this product immediately, sorry! No dice. The Order of Yoni is currently seeking 150,000 euros of funding on Indiegogo in order to create and distribute their product. It costs money to swab all that bacteria, and then cleanse and harvest it in a lab before sending it off to a brewery. Also, someone's gotta pay that model for her time (and secretions). If you've got deep pockets for the vagina beer industry and are dying to see this product on the shelves, you could consider donating 10,000 euros (or $11,320.90) and claim the top fundraising reward — 60 bottles of vagina beer, made with YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S vaginal bacteria! But there is a small catch. If you claim this perk, you may have to swing by a gynecologist in Poland or Germany, you know, for the bacteria harvesting.
So far, in the six days their campaign has been up on Indiegogo, the Order of Yoni has raised 11 euros from two anonymous donors. The lack of enthusiasm toward funding this product could be caused by any number of things. Maybe people just don't really care to drink vagina beer? Maybe people are sure this is a total hoax or PR stunt (which, TBH, would not be surprising). Or maybe people have been brewing vagina beer at home with their home brewing kits and don't need to buy it from a distributor. Whatever the reason, things aren't looking great for the Order of Yoni. What a shame.

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