Vacation Swinger Stories

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Vacation Swinger Stories
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"At the time, it didn't even cross my mind that they had ulterior motives."
Maybe it's the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or the realization that Taylor Swift songs are really, really catchy. The point is: There are many things that will happen to you in life that you just can't prepare for. And in my case, it was when my friends invited me and my wife on vacation...to have sex with us. 
My then-wife and I were living in a small town in Rhode Island. Being somewhat new to the area, we were still in the process of making new friends. Joe (we'll call him) was a fun-loving guy—the type to always be first on the dance floor at our favorite watering hole, pulling whomever was nearest to him along. He was handsome in his own way with blond hair and a muscular build.
His wife "Kim" was a total blonde-haired, blue-eyed babe. She was the type of woman you do a double-take for. We met by chance at a mutual friend's party a few months back. At the time, they had been married for just a year or so and were clearly still in the newlywed stage, evidenced by the way they hung all over each other. 
Thinking back, I should've seen the red flags.
One night, standing in the middle of the dance floor, Kim spun away from Joe and pulled me close (really close, nose-to-nose close) and gave my ear a little nibble. I dismissed it as alcohol-induced behavior.
"They were clearly still in the newlywed stage, evidenced by the way they hung all over each other." 
Not long into our newfound friendship and many of these red-flag moments later, Joe and Kim invited my wife and me to accompany them on an all-expense paid trip to North Carolina's Outer Bank.  
At the time, it didn't even cross my mind that they had ulterior motives. I remember thinking, "GREAT! Who doesn't love a vacation? Who cares that we don't know each other that well. Life is all about adventure!" (I was clearly a young and naive lad.)
The night before our trip, the four of us went out to dinner. The drinks were flowing and the conversation turned to how lucky we all felt about becoming "insta-besties."
But the first physical tell-tale sign of what was to come happened when I found myself trying to ignore the subtle footsies coming from our friend's wife. Again, I chalked it up to booze and off we went on a big jet plane to one of the most beautiful places on the East Coast.
During hotel check-in, things started to get… interesting. We were informed they had only booked one room.
"Oops," Joe said. "It must have been a mix-up."
Watch men and women spill the honest truth about exactly what they think about cheating:
Unfortunately, my swingers radar hadn't kicked in and it didn't even occur to me that this was premeditated. As soon as we found ourselves all getting settled in, we put our swimsuits on and headed poolside to soak in some rays and sip a few mojitos.
"The drinks were flowing and the conversation turned to how lucky we all felt about becoming 'insta-besties.'"
That night, we hit the bars hard. Everyone was pretty drunk and we might've gotten a bit touchy with one another, but some cross-flirtation is normal between couple-friends, right? We're human.
The following night, Kim instructed Joe to take me out for a "few" drinks. Looking back, clearly, she was itching to spend some alone time with my wife.
A little bro-time never hurts so we headed off into the more populated strip of bars and proceeded to get sh*tfaced.
Joe slammed back a shot and blurted out, "Do you want to see a picture?" His phone slid across the table and I found myself staring at a rather naked woman in (ahem) a somewhat compromising position.
He took the phone back and proceeded to tell me there was more where that came from, and that his wife thought I was really hot. The rules of man code immediately went racing through my drunken head.
How do I respond to this? Is he crossing a line with me? Did I just cross a line with him seeing this picture?
To be honest, my curiosity was drunkenly piqued. So, I asked him what he was getting at. He continued to press that his wife was into me and that he thought my wife was very beautiful.
"The rules of man code immediately went racing through my drunken head."
Then he laid it all out, explaining that the reason they asked us to come on vacation was to sleep with us.
I quickly told him I needed a drink and went to the men's room to call my wife. Apparently, the hangover from the night before had stopped her from drinking much at the hotel, and it seemed like Kim didn't make her aware of the situation.
She heard my frantic tone and asked if I was OK. In that moment, I weighed telling her Joe's true intentions against letting this play out; we still had another two days to go on the trip. Things could get all sorts of weird.
"I'm fine honey. Yep, be home in a bit."
I took a moment to stare into the bathroom mirror and go over my options.
I could either take this gentleman up on his offer and dive headfirst into the swinger's world (with my wife's approval, of course) or I could excuse myself politely and leave the situation in a way that didn't cause a rift.
Option three lurked as well: Grab my lady, head to the airport, and get out of dodge.
In my drunken state I shook my head and said, "Oh, I didn't realize that you guys were swingers. I'm flattered by the offer, but my wife and I aren't into that."
I saw his face drop. Did the two of us give off the wrong signals? I'm a flirt, yes, but I don't think I give off the aura of Swinger For Hire.
The rest of that night went downhill very quickly, as did the rest of the trip. He proceeded to order shot after shot and get blackout drunk, leaving me to carry a guy who had at least 50 pounds on me back to the hotel room. Once there, he worshipped the porcelain throne whilst simultaneously explaining to his girlfriend (loudly) that he'd failed to convince me.
"I'm a flirt, yes, but I don't think I give off the aura of Swinger For Hire."
We ended up sticking it out, and a day and half later we all flew back. We didn't see much of each other after that.
Honestly, I liked them both and wish things had gone differently, but there are a few lessons I hope they learned from this trip.
But what do I know? Maybe it's worked for them before. I'll never judge a book by its cover again, that's for sure.

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Rachel Kramer Bussel
Rachel Kramer Bussel ( rachelkramerbussel.com ) writes about sex, dating, books and pop culture.


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And it definitely helped our sex life.
For this installment of our weekly interview series, Love, Actually , about the reality of women's sex lives, we spoke with Vera (a pseudonym), a married woman who unexpectedly got into swinging during a tenth-anniversary cruise.
Last spring my husband and I were looking for an adults-only vacation to celebrate our tenth anniversary. I came across a "clothing optional lifestyle takeover cruise." The materials talked about dance parties, clothing-optional areas, and playrooms, including a dungeon. We assumed "lifestyle" meant BDSM. It was only after we'd booked the trip that we realized it meant swingers. We figured we could still go, even though we didn't plan to participate.
Leading up to the cruise, though, we got to know some of the other couples online and began to change our minds. It started with talk of me being interested in playing with other women and evolved into "Let's just go for it and enjoy all this cruise has to offer."
We really didn't know what to expect when we got there, and were definitely surprised. Some people were completely nude, some just topless, some in tiny outfits, and some fully clothed. We kept our swimsuits on. No one seemed to mind, or even notice, what anyone else was or wasn't wearing.
The first evening there was a toga/gods/goddesses party. My husband dressed as a Roman gladiator and I made a toga out of a sheer purple fabric. We danced with a couple we'd chatted with online, who were in white togas. We didn't get naked, but there was some flashing and roaming hands. My husband and I are "full swap," which means that we are okay with penetrative sex with other people, but their rules were stricter than ours.. They do not kiss or have penetrative sex with others.
After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour outdoor play area. There were beds spaced about every six feet with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman's hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my husband. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me.
At one point my husband went to the restroom. While he was gone, the other guy went down on his wife while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. When my husband came back, he watched for a minute, then joined us.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things.
After a little while, I started giving my husband head while the other couple had sex. He'd had a lot to drink and to his dismay wasn't getting hard. We tried a couple times, but it wasn't going to happen. We played a little while the other couple finished up, and then we all went to the hot tubs.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things. Throughout the week, we had two more play sessions with other couples, including a six-way group session with the same couple from the first night.
There has to be some physical attraction when we decide who to play with, but the connection we form with a couple is the bigger factor. We want to play with people who are fun and stable in their relationship. We have a very low tolerance for drama. Since we play only as a couple, there has to be a four-way match in terms of attraction.
One day we were talking to a couple and the woman stripped down to nothing but a smile and just kept on chatting. This was very awkward for us, but we tried not to let it show. Ten minutes later, her husband stripped down too. He suggested that we do the same, but we declined. He asked us about making a playdate, and I told him that I didn't think we had the four-way match we needed for us to be comfortable. For the rest of the week she was cordial when we'd run into them, but he wouldn't even say hello to us. I felt bad for possibly leading him on. Unfortunately, that's the way it goes sometimes.
Before the trip, I thought swingers were people who would have sex with any random person. But those we've met want the same thing that we want: friendship with like-minded couples, and if we happen to have fun in sexual ways from time to time, that's a bonus.
Now we play with others about once a month. Unfortunately, there is not a single lifestyle club in the entire state where we live. We play only as a couple and only together in the same room. We like to be within reach so we can play and talk to each other at the same time. It's about group play, not just swapping partners.
Condoms are a must. We both have veto power, meaning that if there is a man I want to play with, my hubby can say no at any time for any reason and it will not happen, whether he's not comfortable with the guy or isn't interested in playing with his wife. We rarely play at our house, but if we do it is only with a couple we know really well, and never in our bed—that is only for us.
We talk to several couples we met on the cruise on a weekly basis. One we've become really good friends with, and we get together often with our kids. We do the same things other families do but sometimes, after the kids are in bed, we lock the door and get naked. Sometimes we start with a dinner date and drinks, or just hang out with the kids until they're all asleep. We might play a game like sexy dice or watch a movie with sexual undertones.
We haven't had a successful session yet with another couple where we both had penetrative sex. My husband overthinks it and can't maintain an erection. We have talked to several other men in the lifestyle and they all said that it is very common in the beginning, especially if you've been exclusively with your partner for a long time.
Neither of us have any romantic feelings for our play partners at all, but we do see them as friends. There are definitely people we are attracted to, both mentally and physically, but romance and love are just for us.
Other than the couple that we said no to on the cruise, no one has ever made us uncomfortable. We have been asked to do things that we have rules against. For example, there is a couple who generally play separately, but we play only as a couple. We've made this clear to them. We still talk to them and joke around; we just know that we won't be play partners and that's okay.
Swinging has helped our sex life, because after a night of playing with others we always come back and talk about the experience and have really hot sex with each other during the conversation. I don't know if we will stay in the lifestyle forever, but we are definitely having fun for now.

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Some older people like going on cruises. Others hightail it to early-bird specials. Then there are the ones who use their golden years to experiment sexually outside their relationship. Meet two such senior swingers, Mark and Deanna.
Mark and Deanna, both in their mid-fifties, got married 5 years ago. Neither has children from any prior relationships. They live in Las Vegas, Nevada, where they enjoy walking their dogs, doing puzzles, and seeing new movies on date nights. They also like going to places like The Green Door, a nearby night club that hosts various swingers' parties. To this couple, casual sex with strangers is a recreational activity just like any other.
It was Mark's idea to swing. He and Deanna had been married for 3 years, and while he was nervous to voice this desire, he thought it would be a good way to break up the monotony of marriage. He first suggested it in the midst of an intimate, candlelit dinner, but even in that setting, Deanna didn't exactly jump at the proposal. "She was kind of hesitant at first," Mark says now.
"I was a little blown away," Deanna recalls. "But with a little romance he talked me into it. I'm an open person, so for him I was willing to give it a shot because it's what made him happy."
It took nearly six months after Deanna agreed to prepare and find a suitable event for them. Mark looked online for the right venue, and both were required to get STD testing in advance - along with bringing protection, a clean bill of health was a requirement from the party organizers. With the legwork done, Mark and Deanna headed to their first swingers' party.
The mid-sized club they chose was set up like a standard cocktail party, but both were struck by the surprisingly homey vibe. Not surprisingly, however, both were still anxious. "At first, I was uncomfortable, shy, and a little nervous," Mark says. "I'm not a party girl," Deanna adds. "I don't do clubbing. I don't drink, so for me it took a bit longer to open up and talk to people." She wasn't alone though; there were actually quite a few partygoers who didn't drink. "It's not a place where everyone is drunk," Mark explains.
After surveying the scene, each zeroed in on potential partners and struck up casual conversations. "It's not like you just jump into bed," Deanna says. "You start talking to them and you get to know them a little bit." It all sounded normal enough - except for the actual topics of conversation. Normally when people first meet, discussions cover basics such as what you do and where you live. "We don't talk about any of that," Mark says, explaining that anonymity is at a premium. "Discretion is key." So what do they talk about, then? That's easy: sex. After exchanging a few pleasantries about their likes and dislikes with these new friends, Mark and Deanna headed to separate rooms for the main event.
"You book the rooms in advance," Mark explains, noting that the event space functions much like a hotel. "You get a key to a specific room for the night." Also like a hotel, some rooms are pricier than others. "The more people the room can hold and the more luxurious it is, the more you pay," Mark says, though Deanna adds that all rooms have "a radio for soft music, and a television and candles." No matter the pricing, all rooms are decidedly clean, sleek, modern and according to both Mark and Deanna, "romantic." One thing the rooms lack is a window. "They are really, really private," Deanna describes.
As Deanna and Mark drove home from that first experience, they asked each other the clichéd question: How was it for you? (Except this situation was anything but clichéd.) "We keep nothing from each other," Deanna insists. "We did talk about it because he wanted to know my feelings on it, and I wanted to know his to make sure there's no jealousy involved." Together, they decided it was something that had enjoyed and wanted to continue doing.
Within a few months, the couple had created a pattern. They go to a swingers' event every few weeks, which is frequently enough that they can now spot the "regulars," but not so frequently that they consider themselves part of that group. They're allowed to sleep with anyone they choose and don't approve of each other's partners - but they do always talk about their experiences afterward.
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