Vacation Incest Stories
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Vacation Incest Stories
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GUESTS experience the sun-drenched high-life above decks on cruise ships, but there’s a dark world of low pay, cramped rooms and rampant sex below.
“THE ships were the most incestuous workplace I’ve ever been a part of.”
A man known only as “Blake” has revealed the truth about life on the high seas, in a no-holds-barred interview with Thrillist .
While guests experience a sun-drenched high-life above decks, Blake describes a dark world of low pay, cramped rooms and rampant sex on the levels below.
“I think the ratio of men to women was like 9:1. So any time a new girl started working on the ship, the first night at the crew bar was a free-for-all. And for the most part nobody was loyal to anyone,” he told Matt Meltzer .
The claims have been echoed by other cruise ships workers in the past.
Queenslander Cathryn Chapman worked throughout the Carribbean and Bahamas during her 20s and 30s, and she wrote a fiction called Sex, Lies and Cruising based on her experiences.
“The main thing I didn’t like was the cheating,” she told news.com.au last June.
“Men who had a wife and kids at home, and a girlfriend on the ship. When his wife came on board for a holiday, the girlfriend would move out of his cabin for the week and basically pretend she didn’t know him.
“Nobody would breathe a word. Then the night his wife went home, the girlfriend would move back in as though nothing had happened. The guys often pretend their wives don’t exist, maybe until the day before she arrives.”
It’s not just sex that makes life below decks so intriguing.
Blake says he spent time working on a boutique luxury cruise line for what are essentially “the richest people on earth who don’t own their own yacht”.
“On the bargain ships, there were all these people who had saved their whole lives to go on a cruise, and as long as they got fed on time they were just grateful to be there,” he said. “The super-rich, however, could be downright horrible people.”
He describes an incident where a woman accidentally knocked the dice of seafood magnate, causing him to lose a few hundred dollars. The man nudged Blake and said “Watch, I’m going to make this b*tch cry” before laying into her with an expletive-laden tirade.
And while guests are lapping up the luxury, staff quarters are smaller than you could possibly believe — around half the size of a regular guest room, shared between two people.
He told Thrillist the only way to deal with the cramped space is to stack, roll and stuff your clothes into your locker, and travel light.
And as for pay, well, it’s really quite shocking.
Working as a dealer, Blake says he earned $950 American dollars a month ($1256), but stewards could make as little as $200 (A$264), and they were all living on tips.
He alleges tips were deducted from monthly wages, meaning if he earned $950 American dollars in gratuities, the cruise lines effectively got to keep him for free.
He’s not the first disgruntled crew member to question life on the seven seas.
MailOnline spoke to Brian David Bruns, who penned a book about his experiences.
He worked for Carnival, telling journalist Sadie Whitelocks that maintaining a high level of customer service was often very difficult, especially when it came to “raucous drunks”, and the crew often met behind closed doors to let off steam.
“In the restaurants we regularly referred to the guests as ‘cow animals’. Makes sense because they are very large, very gentle, and stand around eating all day,” he said.
He claims he worked as many as 100 hours a week for 15 weeks at a time, and that pay is not commensurate with the number of hours worked.
“Sailing international waters and flying flags of convenience allow cruise ships to break labour laws found in First World nations,” he said.
“That’s why cruise ship employees are almost unanimously from Third or Second World nations, barring entertainers and a few vendors.”
Carnival responded, telling MailOnline : “The cruise industry’s priority for its workforce is their welfare” and that “companies work within a strictly regulated and frequently inspected global industry and adhere to both European and international regulation”.
The Florida-based company said in addition to salary, “crew are provided with a number of benefits free of charge including room and board and cruise-line sponsored medical care”.
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I took a two-week vacation this past summer to Europe with my teenage son. Just my teenager—my husband didn’t join us. This isn’t the first time my son and I have traveled alone together, although it was by far the longest trip we’ve taken without his dad.
When these trips come up in conversations with friends and family, I tend to get strange looks from some people. Others aren’t shy about voicing their opinions that a family vacation without one parent isn’t really a family vacation, that somehow we aren’t doing this whole vacation thing right.
Here’s the thing: I believe these trips actually make us all closer. My reasoning? Stick with me here:
1. Three is only company on ’70s TV shows. With an only child, a three-person traveling party can quickly make one person feel like, well, a crowd. We made a conscious decision to only have one child. That is, we decided to have an only. We did not decide to have a lonely child, but that can be the unintentional outcome of a three-person vacation (or of having just one child in general). Now, that’s not to say that we don’t take family vacations, because we do. But, when we do, we need to be much more intentional about making everyone happy than might be the case in a family with two or more children where I can only assume that the kids entertain themselves to a certain extent.
2. Conversations go beyond grunts, “uh-huh”s and “I don’t know”s. When just one of us travels alone with our son, it’s amazing the kinds of conversations that we have together. I get some insight into what he is thinking and vice versa. And if you think back to when you were a teenager yourself, you probably understand the importance of having actual conversations with a teenager. When we are at home, in the school/work routine, getting a 15-year-old to share anything can be like pulling teeth. When we are on vacation together, just the two of us, we actually talk to each other a lot. It’s more than wonderful.
3. Memories, baby! Beyond those conversations, when I travel alone with my son, we learn so much about each other, and we are creating memories that I hope will last him a lifetime. Now, not all of those memories are fantastic, but that’s true of every vacation experience I’ve ever had, and the positives outweigh the negatives by far.
4. No compromise needed. Solo-parent/teen vacations also help avoid having to compromise on what type of trip to take or even where to go. Case in point: Our most recent trip was to Europe, and my husband actually did not want to go to there (and no, I am not kidding). However, my son and I very much wanted to go. Problem solved: A one-parent and child vacation. No compromise was needed, and that was fine. Besides allowing for the memories, conversation and experience I’ve already mentioned, traveling with one less person also saved us an enormous amount of money, money that can be spent when my husband and son want to travel somewhere this winter to see a Green Bay Packers game together (an experience in which I have absolutely no desire to participate).
5. Blessed, blessed alone time. I also cannot overstate the importance of “alone time” for the parent who stays at home. As I think many other parents can appreciate, having even an hour or two in a quiet house alone is priceless. Turn that into a weekend or a week (or longer), and for me, at least, it’s an opportunity to relax, take time for myself without any guilt, and take care of some of those pesky chores around the house that never seem to rise to the top of the priority list. When the traveling parent and child return from their trip, everyone is happy to see each other and to share the memories and experiences of that time spent apart.
Now, I should add that this type of solo-parent/child vacation didn’t start happening in our house until our son was already a teenager, and I don’t think I would have even considered it when he was an infant, toddler or preschooler. At those ages, having another adult to travel with is almost a requirement. Now that my son is a teenager, it’s a different story entirely. All of a sudden, we are racing the clock to spend time with him before he leaves the nest for college.
For me, these trips with my son are also a way of honoring a family tradition from my teen years. Way, way back when, my Dad had a ritual of taking one of his three kids out for lunch each Saturday. Every third Saturday was my turn, and I remember truly looking forward to those one-on-one lunches with him. It didn’t matter where we went; to me, it was just important to have that hour together when I wasn’t fighting my siblings for airtime. I like to think that my solo-parent/child vacations are an extension of that idea.
I know that a lot of people still don’t get why I enjoy these trips alone with my son, but that’s okay, because it works for us. Now, if you will excuse me, I think I hear the siren song of vacation-planning websites calling my name. Off to plan the next great adventure!
This article was originally published on 11.8.2010
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We all harbor secrets. Some are big and bad; some are small and trivial. Researchers have parsed which truths to tell and which not to.
Posted April 28, 2008
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Reviewed by Devon Frye
Fellow "Experiments in Philosophy " blogger Jesse Prinz posted about UVA psychologist Jon Haidt's work on political differences. I want to continue exploring the philosophical implications of Haidt's work by asking whether it's all right for Julie and her brother Mark to have sex .
Here's a scenario drawn from a study Haidt conducted:
"Julie and Mark are brother and sister. They are traveling together in France on summer vacation from college. One night, they are staying alone in a cabin near the beach. They decide that it would be interesting and fun if they tried making love. At the very least, it would be a new experience for each of them. Julie was already taking birth control pills, but Mark uses a condom, too, just to be safe. They both enjoy making love, but they decide never to do it again. They keep that night as a special secret, which makes them feel even closer to each other. What do you think about that? Was it okay for them to make love?"
If you're like most people, your response is "absolutely not," but you'll find it more difficult than you think to come up with a justification. "Genetic defects from inbreeding." Yes, but they were using two forms of birth control. (And in the vanishingly small chance of pregnancy , Julie can get an abortion.) "It will mess them up emotionally." On the contrary, they enjoyed the act and it brought them closer together. "It's illegal." Not in France. "It's disgusting." For you, maybe, but not for them (obviously). Do you really want to say that private acts are morally wrong just because a lot of people find those acts disgusting? And so on.
The scenario, of course, is designed to ward off the most common moral objections to incest, and in doing so demonstrate that much of moral reasoning is a post-hoc affair—a way of justifying judgments that you've already reached though an emotional gut response to a situation. Although we like to think of ourselves as arriving at our moral judgments after painstaking rational deliberation (or at least some kind of deliberation) Haidt's model—the "social intuititionist model"—sees the process as just the reverse. We judge and then we reason. Reason is the press secretary of the emotions, as Haidt is fond of saying—the ex post facto spin doctor of beliefs we've arrived at through a largely intuitive process.
As Haidt recognizes, his theory can be placed within a grand tradition of moral psychology and philosophy—a return to an emphasis on the emotions which began in full force with the work of Scottish philosophers Adam Smith and David Hume. Although the more rationalist theories of Piaget and Kohlberg were dominant for much of the twentieth century, Haidt-style views have gained more and more adherents over the last 10 years. Which leads to the question: are there any philosophical/ethical implications of this model, should it be the right one? Plenty, in my view, and I'll conclude this post by mentioning just a few of them.
First, although Haidt may disagree (see my interview with him for a discussion about this issue), I believe Haidt's model supports a subjectivist view about the nature of moral beliefs. My thinking is as follows: We arrive at our judgments through our emotionally charged intuitions—intuitions that do not track any kind of objective moral truth, but instead are artifacts of our biological and cultural histories. Haidt's model reveals that there is quite a bit of self-deception bound up in moral beliefs and practice. The strength of these intuitions leads us to believe that the truth of our moral judgments is "self-evident"—think: the Declaration of Independence—in other words, that they correspond to an objective moral reality of some kind. That is why we try so hard to justify them after the fact. But we have little to no reason to believe that this moral reality exists.
(I should add that contrary to the views of newspaper column
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