Using Sex Toy

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Using Sex Toy
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Rachel is a clinical sexologist with a focus on LGBTQ+ and BIPOC issues. Originally from Texas, she loves sushi, white wine, and spending time with her partner Jessica. She has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Yahoo.com, Women's Health, Healthline, Glamour, and MindBodyGreen. LinkedIn | Website | Twitter
Latest posts by Rachel Sommer, Ph.D. ( see all )
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A quick search for ‘how to use sex toys’ brings back 759 million results in less than a second. Crazy. Right?
Sex toys were more or less taboo a few decades ago, but luckily, they are much more acceptable today, and people’s attitudes have dramatically evolved. With education being an essential part of the process, it’s not hard to see why more people are keen to learn how to use one.
As you can imagine, there are a ton of sex toys on the market, including G-spot vibrators, clit massagers, dildos, cock rings, masturbation sleeves, strap-ons, among others. Whatever your motivation might be, there’s a sex toy for everyone.
In this article, we’ll focus on how to use your sex toy, emphasizing the different available models. Everything from wand vibrators to dildos and anal toys, you’ll undoubtedly leave with a few pointers on how to use sex toys for maximum pleasure. We’ll also brush over other helpful sex toy tips to ensure you make the best of the experience. So, read on.
You probably started with a bullet vibrator , didn’t you? Their small, easy-to-use design makes them beginner-friendly and considerably more affordable than other sex toys, making them an excellent place to start.
Note: Don’t use the bullet vibe for butt play. Its small and sleek design makes it very easy to get lost in your anus. Trust me. You don’t want to be in the ER explaining how a vibrator got inside your ass.
Wand vibrators might be intimidating, especially if you only have used a bullet vibe before. They’re larger, and the well-defined head and flexible neck are designed to take your external clitoral stimulation to the next level. Like every other sex toy on the market, there are tons to choose from, and the best wand vibrators have waterproof and USB-rechargeable capabilities.
Note: Ensure the wand attachment has medical-grade silicone.
Clitoral vibrators focus on your clitoris and inspire maximum pleasure. Instead of buzzing, these vibrators feature a mouth-like opening on one end to lock onto your clit and create a suction sensation. The resulting sensonic waves travel from the clitoris’ tip to the deepest nerve endings for a wholly unique and satisfying experience. It simulates the feeling of oral sex, like someone is sucking your clit.
Rabbit vibrators provide unique blended stimulation by simultaneously massaging your clitoris and G-spot. While most people associate these vibes with solo players, they’re also a great addition in the bedroom for couples.
For example, during foreplay, you can bring your partner to orgasm by stimulating her clit with the rabbit ears and G-spot with the shaft. Once your partner orgasms before intercourse, it becomes easier to orgasm a second time.
G-spot vibrators feature a unique curved shaft and pointed head to massage the G-spot zone. The vibrating motor is usually placed directly in the tip for pinpoint stimulation.
The vibrators are usually made from flexible materials like silicone to allow easy meandering during use. This way, you can change the angles and entry positions until you hit the right spot.
These devices have rubbery tethers and rings that attach to your fingers or hand, allowing for realistic come-hither action. Like bullet vibes, finger vibrators are all about external clit stimulation.
You can use the vibrator on your hips, inner thighs, nipples, backside, and other pleasure zones. The rubber-like material adds the much-needed grip in the heat of the moment, especially when you’re using lube.
Most panty vibrators provide clitoral stimulation, but a few models have an insertable part that rests inside you. The pulsing panties feature a small pouch on the frontal side to hold the bullet vibe in position.
The guide wouldn’t have been complete without talking about dildos. These phallic sex toys offer improved control because you can easily control the intensity of the experience by hand.
While dildos don’t vibrate, the extended shape and straightforward design make them effective. You can also purchase a realistic-looking dildo with veins, wrinkled balls, and a well-defined head if you enjoy using a penis-looking dildo. Some are even made of glass or metal.
You can read more details about using a dildo in this guide.
Also known as pulsators, thrusting dildos retract and expand back and forth with the press of a button. Unlike regular dildos, you don’t need much to have a good time – just hold onto the dildo at your preferred angle and let the mechanism do the job. The latest models are USB-rechargeable, and you don’t have to worry about buying batteries.
You use cock rings to make an erection harder and last longer by limiting blood flow. Some penis rings come with a motor that transfers vibrations to your partner’s clit during intercourse. Most have flexible silicone materials, so you can easily stretch them over an already erect penis.
Masturbation sleeves wrap your penis warmly with different internal textures. They’re a massive upgrade from the masturbation by hand technique as they create a uniquely warm and wet feel. Masturbation sleeves also have a subtle and discreet design to enhance your privacy.
These anal toys massage your prostate for a truly unique experience. The pointed tip simplifies insertion while the shaft is slightly curved to enhance p-spot stimulation. They also have a flared base for simplified handling and prevent the sex toy from fully submerging into your anus. In addition, the latest models come with a remote control so you can easily regulate the rumbles without removing the massager.
Cock sleeves increase your penis’ girth and length for more satisfying sex. In addition, men with erectile dysfunction can wear the penis sleeve to engage in penetration. On the other hand, those suffering from premature ejaculation can lessen the sensations of intercourse with the extra layer of ‘cover,’ allowing them to last longer.
Note: Before buying the cock sleeve from a local sex toy store, measure your erect penis and compare it to the dimensions. Make sure it doesn’t feel loose or tight while inside.
Like every other sex toy, butt plugs are available in different sizes and materials to meet your needs. I recommend smaller sizes for beginners and larger ones for experienced anal players.
Many butt plugs are also weighted to enhance realism, and you can choose between a vibrating and non-vibrating model. Most importantly, make sure you go for a plug with a flared base for easy handling and to prevent it from getting sucked inside your anus.
As the name suggests, anal beads are tiny balls attached with a silicone string or slim shaft. Some feature same-sized beads while others graduate in size, with the smallest at the tip and the largest at the end. Popping the beads in and out one at a time or pulling them together heightens the pleasure.
Strap-ons are the perfect couple/same-sex toys, and they come as either strapped or strapless models. For the strapped, they feature a harness that holds your sex toy, mainly a dildo, in position. The harnesses typically come with different O-rings so that you can use different sizes of dildos.
The strapless strap-ons have an elongated tip beyond the dildo’s shaft that sticks into your vagina for hands-free control. Unlike the former, you don’t need a harness as you simply slide the strap-on into your vagina.
Couple vibrators are worn during intercourse to complement the experience. Their slim and flexible design makes it easy to carry on with sex while enjoying the extra bells and whistles of internal and external vibrations. Most couples’ sex toys also come with a remote control or dedicated mobile app to simplify controls and allow public play .
Double-ended dildos might be intimidating at first, but there’s more to them than meets the eyes. They come in different sizes, materials, and shapes to meet your specific needs, and you can use one yourself during masturbation or with a partner during foreplay.

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63% of Americans own a sex toy of some kind, and that number is only growing bigger as society becomes more sex-positive. However, with so many different types of sexual toy on the market these days, it can be confusing to know exactly how to use sex toys .
Being the SexToyCollective, we decided to put together this guide to 8 common sex toy categories and how to use them. Whether you have a penis or a vulva, you'll find everything here from vibrators to anal beads and cock rings , so you'll be using sex toys like a pro in no time.
Dildos come in all shapes and sizes, so it's important to find the right kind of dildo for you. If you're using a dildo to penetrate your vagina, make sure it's made from a body-safe material like silicone. If you're using a dildo anally, make sure it’s body-safe and also has a flared base so it can't accidentally slip inside your bottom during play.
Even if you're naturally moist, I would strongly recommend using a high-quality water-based lube on both the dildo and your vagina/anus to make things easier. Start slow, put on some relaxing music, and slowly introduce the dildo into your body. Don't go pounding away too quickly - get your body used to the size of the dildo, especially if it's big.
You can check out our lube guide for more information.
Once you feel that your body is relaxed and stretched out enough to accommodate the dildo, start to increase the speed and get a little rougher if that's how you like it. Also consider trying different positions - instead of using your hands, try balancing the dildo on the floor while you ride it or squat down onto it.
You could even practice blowjobs if you're that way inclined!
Bullet vibrators are designed primarily for clitoral stimulation , meaning that you should focus on the external clitoris instead of putting them inside you. Hold these external clitoral toys against your clit and play around with the vibration settings until you find a vibration pattern and intensity that you like.
If your clitoris is very sensitive, try using a bullet vibe against your clitoral hood or with other parts of your vulva. They're also great for teasing other erogenous zones like the nipples and inner thighs. I would also personally recommend using lube with bullet vibes, though some ladies prefer not to.
You can also get purpose-built couples vibrators like the WeVibe Chorus which are designed for vibrator sex with a partner.
Okay, so rabbit vibrators are sex toys designed to give you external clitoral stimulation and internal G-spot stimulation at the same time. These 2 pleasure zones on your body can combine to produce a " blended orgasm ", where you experience 2 different types of female orgasm at the same time.
First, use the "bunny ears" to stimulate the clitoris and get those sexual juices flowing. When you feel turned on and ready, lube up the main shaft of the toy with some water-based lube and slowly insert it inside your vagina. Make sure that the tip of the shaft is angled toward your stomach, as this is the side of your body where the G-spot sits.
The design of the toy should make it clear how to insert a rabbit vibe.
Most rabbit vibrators have multiple settings to control the vibration of the bunny ears, as well as vibrations in the G-spot tip. Many of these toys will also have additional controls for rotations and swirls within the main shaft. Start small and slowly work your way up to more intense vibrations.
Wand vibrators like the famous Hitachi Magic Wand are known for their deep, rumbly vibrations. Wand vibrators are designed for external clitoral stimulation, though I have heard of some guys using them as penis vibrators as well, so there are many possibilities with these toys.
If you're using them on your clitoris, be sure to press them firmly against your body (if you're comfortable) to allow those deep vibrations to penetrate your deeper clitoral complex (your clit runs deeper than you think!) and get your hormones pumping.
You might even try using wand vibrators with a partner!
When using these sex toys, remember that they can start to make you feel numb after a while because of how strong they are. It's helpful to move them around different parts of your vulva to make sure that you keep feeling the vibrations and enjoying the fun.
Vibrating a numb pussy ain’t much fun.
A butt plug could be used for many reasons - some people like them for sexual pleasure, some people use them for prostate stimulation, and some people use them to stretch their anus before anal sex. The best butt plugs are made from body-safe materials and have a flared base to stop them from getting trapped inside.
If you're new to anal toys, I'd suggest a small silicone buttplug with an insertable length of 2-3 inches. Don't go using massive sex toys if you can't handle them!
Cover the butt plug in high-quality water-based lube and slowly begin to slide it inside you. It will feel very uncomfortable at first, but once you get the plug all the way inside, your anus will close over the skinny neck of the buttplug and it will begin to feel more natural.
Some buttplugs, like the Lovense Hush , are designed to be worn all day or for extended periods of time. For example, the Lovense Hush has a special spiral neck design which traps lube inside the sphincter and stops it from slipping out as easily.
Designed for people assigned male at birth, prostate massagers are toys that massage the prostate (go figure) also known as the P-spot or " Male G spot ". The prostate is around 2-3 inches inside a man's anus, located on the anterior side of the body (toward the stomach). The prostate gland is around the size of a walnut.
And believe me when I say that prostate milking is awesome.
You can get vibrating and non-vibrating prostate toys, so I've split this into 2 sections:
These toys for sex do all the work for you once they're inserted. Lie on your back or your side and finger your butthole with 1 or 2 lubed-up fingers to get your bottom nice and relaxed. Once you feel that your butthole is a little looser and chilled out, slowly insert the toy with the prostate-massaging part bending toward your stomach.
Once it's hitting the spot, you'll know. Trust me.
When the toy is fully inserted, I'd suggest relaxing for a few minutes and "accepting" the toy into your body before using the vibrations. When you're ready, start to play with the different vibration settings until you find one that feels right for you.
Prostate vibrators can "shoot out" your anus if you set the vibrations too high, so just keep that in mind. This is because you instinctively clench your butt in response to the strong vibes.
Surely a sex toy is better if it vibrates? Well, not necessarily. In my experience, prostate massagers are better when they don't vibrate at all. Aneros is a company that famously makes non-vibrating prostate toys that are known to give guys multiple male orgasms and even "Super O" trance-like orgasms.
Believe me, these orgasms make jacking off seem boring.
Basically, you warm up your anus by fingering yourself with 1 or 2 lubed-up fingers until your ass is relaxed and loosened. Then, you insert the massager with the tip pointing toward your stomach when it's inside you. Now you need to learn how to use your sphincter and pelvic floor muscles to move the massager around on your P-spot.
To put it simply, the pelvic floor muscles (or "Kegel muscles") are the muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when you pee. Your sphincter muscles are what you use to clench your butthole. By playing around with relaxation techniques and these muscles, you can have some truly otherworldly orgasms.
I recently reviewed the Aneros Helix Syn Trident (a non-vibrating prostate toy) and went into more detail about the best techniques for multiple male orgasms.
Cock rings are favored by men with erectile dysfunction or people with penises who just want to get as hard as possible and stay hard for as long as possible! Most cock rings look like simple rubber bands, but they're designed to limit blood flow to the penis when erect. The idea is that you get an erection, put on a cock ring, and then "trap" the blood flow in the cock.
Who doesn’t want a rock-hard boner?
Most of these sex toys should be put on when you've already got an erection - you place the ring around the base of the shaft of your penis. Some "double cock rings" may also be designed to go around the balls too, or perhaps have a second ring designed to go around the balls separately.
As with most sex toys, I'd recommend using a little lube here.
DO NOT wear a cock ring for more than 30 minutes - the lack of bloodflow could start to cause serious damage.
You can also get couples cock rings designed to be used with a partner. These are usually vibrating cock rings that stimulate the clitoris of a partner as you're having penetrative sex. Every time you thrust into them, they receive pleasure from your penis and clitoral pleasure from the vibrations of the cock ring. Good stuff.
Everyone has a bum, so anal beads are a universal toy for sex that everyone can enjoy. Great to use solo or with a partner, these beads are designed to make your orgasms more intense when you're climaxing. The idea is that you pull the beads out slowly as you're nearing orgasm - the orgasmic sensations will suddenly be more intense.
It sounds like a faff, but it’s worth it.
First, you should consider douching your ass, especially if your beads are quite long. We have a great anal douching guide if you feel the need to clean your bottom beforehand. Once that's done, lube up 1 or 2 of your fingers and slowly insert them into your ass, getting used to the sensations and allowing the anus to relax.
The anus isn't as "ready for sex" as a vagina, so take your time.
Once you're relaxed, lube up the beads and slowly insert them, one by one. Only insert as many as you feel comf
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