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After a marathon 365 days of nonstop sandpaper ass-fucking by 2020, you'd think Becky McBallbag would've called this guy's bluff and at least tried to enjoy the moment for another few seconds. What the hell happened to New Year New Me?
These dude's affinity for I lick the toilets at Publix for fun porn is off the fucking charts. I mean seriously - Imagine getting more typcasted than Jason Statham, in the adult world. P.S. Anyone else have a sudden urge to order chimmichangas?
Prostitution is a pretty straight-forward process. Browse Craigslist Gigs-Labor section and let the restraining orders fly. Unless you're a naive rookie that charges less than KFC's 10-piece Family Feast. Then, it gets a little awkward...
Never underestimate a man's willingness to document his trophy case. You'll just end up scratching your head and crotch like you just left a Persian bachelor party.
Classic case of prickism. If only he put as much effort into stabilizing a camera as he did learning how to pick up girls from Cuba Gooding Jr. movies, then maybe this permanent mark on her resume could have been avoided. Live and learn?
I'm not even sure what the hell is going on here. I see too much ink, Too little foresight and a modified hospital bed normally reserved for My 600 lb Life. No further info than that, so... time for some hashtags. #doublestandards #hetoo
Nothing says "desperate fuck with a record" quite like turning a stranger's alone time into your next sausage tossing. Let's just say... there won't be a second date.
There's a moment in every guy's life when he tells himself: It was worth the risk.
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Not since walking into an unlocked Vietnamese Restaurant bathroom at 2:00AM have I seen such disrespect for the lower half of an oriental female. And just like the Internet watching this video, I am disgusted now. And 30 minutes from now.
Never before have I seen a man do something so disrespectful with such finesse. Where there's shame, he shows confidence. Where there's shock, he brings warmth. And where there's romance, well... he really doesn't give a flying fuck.
A night of Malibu Rum and bands that consider wind chimes an instrument can only end 1 of 2 ways. And while tits hanging off your family tree seems like a clear winner, I implore you to consider going Randy Savage on a bitch as an alternative.
Now if only this freak put as much effort into his apprenticeship as he did into literally ruining his entire life, maybe this repulsive fuck would've thought twice about using a camera with the pixel output of a yukon potato. Kill him twice.
The Midwest: Some go for affordable street drugs. Others, go to make videos that can fuel an entire season of Dr. Phil. This guy does both. 1st he loads up on Slurm, then he shows his sister-cousin who's the boss of this double-wide. A role model?
I guess having sex isn't exactly considered "challenging" when someone has the alcohol tolerance of a vienna sausage. Lesson learned: Never try to impress a girl that's probably used the neighbor's cat as toilet paper. #germany #whydidifap
I can forgive the potato-grade video quality. I understand the lack of names to prevent Instagram stalking. But cutting off the girls @3:39 before they ran to use honey dijon as lubricant? ZERO/5 stars you simple-minded, incredulous fuck.
Sociopaths play their Blue-Eyed White Domestic Abuse cards in attack mode. The end result? A record-setting 4 minute tutorial of what not to do when your Tinder match finally says yes to Chicken Nuggets & Chill.
[tip: look in the third row for link] Creepy fuck sets up shop in an air duct just to get a peek at a random cooter as she unloads some Mountain Dew. Unfortunately he makes too much noise & scares the utter shit out of her.
2lbs of Hamburger Helper and marginal Call of Duty skills? Maybe finding out your GF gave papi chulo teh SUCC really is the best thing in this video.
3 A.M. hookup goes from erotic to i'll kill u motherfucker as Ivan Ivanovitch Ivanovsky starts sticking his custard musket into enemy territory. The hate in her eyes is real. Him promising to keep this home movie a secret is not.
This guy might as well be the Conor McGregor of butthole dysfunction, and today he's teaching Relationships 101. Adopt his patented "Oklahoma whiff n' dip", and I promise, ur lady will never think about crying misogyny again.
You know your stock is circling the drain when the number one flirtation tactic in your arsenal involves a closed fist, and the finest douchebro tanktop in the Macy's 50% off bin. PS: Keep skipping leg day phaggot.
Tampax's new spokesman goes on a rampage.
I wish Mr. White Shirt was a returning character in all casual sex videos. He's about as good at flirting as I am at convincing fat girls on TINDER that my semen tastes like Ben & Jerry's cake batter. Simply put: phenomenal.
Prettier the girl, the nicer you have to act to get below the panty line. A pretty standard concept and it's now officially obsolete thanks to this Australian asshole. Guy makes Martin Shkreli look charitable, he's that dickish.
Nice taste in women victims. Terrible pickup strategy though. Two words: Adoption Agency. Join the rest of the evolved population and use a dog to break the ice next time, you repulsive inbred piece of antisocial shit.
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