Upshort Pussy
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Upshort Pussy
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Just when I finally got used to the side boob .
Just when I finally got used to the side hair shave .
Comes another side THING that is beautiful and impossible and horrifying and I cannot look away:
— David Richman (@DRich_what) April 1, 2016
The side vag is my new favourite term. It’s the result of what happens when you succumb to the latest high-crotched fashion trend and let your fleshy front lady area see the light of day. And it’s coming to a beach, a red carpet, or an Instagram shot near you.
In Venice recently, it was side-vag for days:
And, pre-robbery, Kim Kardashian was letting the gentle winds of France caress her front cheeks.
A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on Sep 17, 2016 at 9:27pm PDT
It's yet another astonishing feat for women in 2016. Up until now we've been concerning ourselves with the brave feats of fighting for equal pay, starting AFL leagues and running for President of the United States.
It's time we tipped our hats to those brave souls involved in side-vaggery.
Firstly, respect for the enormous amount of danger factor involved. Step a millimetre too far, and suddenly your bikini seam has been swallowed up by your lady pocket. And for pete's sake don't even THINK about moving sideways or you'll end up in a Malaysian prison.
Secondly, the intensity and effort it goes to ensure your side vag is display-quality cannot be underestimated. Can you imagine? How is it possible to remain hairless, without the pockmarked scars of ingrown picking, or the ugly red bumps of another $29 triple-x from Essential Beauty?
Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them wear really high-crotch things.
Side vaggers laugh in the face of their waxer when she says "this is going to hurt".
Side vaggers spit their champagne out at 1800's ladies who were considered scandalous when they flashed their ankle.
Side vaggers know where their best side is at.
So this summer, ladies, be armed with the knowledge that your vag doesn't have to lie dormant, meekly covered. Get your little muff wings out. It's what fashion wants you to do. Just remember a couple of things:
And please, don't forget to slip, slop and slap the sides too.
Monique Bowley is the host of Mamamia Out Loud. It's the award-winning weekly podcast with what women are talking about. Subscribe in itunes or listen to the full episode here:
this is just a revision and an attempted resurgence of the high hip french cut that really doesnt look good on anyone unless you're trying to make your hips look gigantic...are dickies going to be next??
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Lacey Sponsler was said to have flashed her 'bum and vagina' at the students when her dress 'flipped up' during the bizarre stunt
A CHOIR teacher has avoided jail after accidentally exposing herself to pupils when she cartwheeled without any knickers on in class.
Lacey Sponsler was said to have flashed her "bum" and genitals at the students during the bizarre stunt at Pawhuska Junior High School, Oklahoma.
Police said the 34-year-old had been wearing a long dress at the time, but no underwear, meaning when her dress "flipped up", she "exposed herself to the students in the class."
Teenagers saw the substitute teacher's genitals "as her legs were in the air", police files revealed.
Sponsler was arrested for indecency after a pupil, 17, posted the footage on Snapchat.
However the charge was dropped when she pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of assault.
A police report says Sponsler initially denied the incident happened, claiming she didn't remember doing a cartwheel, but, instead was "dancing with students" and "trying to be a cool teacher".
Sponsler was handed a two-year suspended sentence, a ban on working in schools and a £150 fine by the Osage County district attorney.
Her lawyer Mr. Milner claimed the affair had been blown out of proportion.
Speaking to local US news channel ABC 8, he said: “Anything that happens at school or when kids are around are going to be blown out of proportion.
“I’m highly confident that there’s no issues at all, so I think this was just to get this behind her.
“She’ll find a great job and move on with her life.”
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Now Reading 7 Celebs Who Are All About The Bush
Photo: Bertrand Rindoff Petroff/Getty Images.
Tons of women on the internet right now are opening up about why they're putting down the razor or breaking up with their bikini waxer as they halt the ritual of removing their pubic hair . It's a conversation that plenty of female celebrities have weighed in on, too — from Amber Rose to Emma Watson. And they're pretty passionate about it: Rose started her own #BringBackTheBush revolution, and Solange Knowles went so far as to call Brazilian waxes an unnecessary "evil."
Of course, there's no right answer when it comes to pubes. If you prefer to be as hairless as a Sphynx cat, you do you. Want to make like the French and let it grow? That's cool, too. And if you fall in the latter group, know that you'll be in great company. Check out seven celebrities who embrace the bush, ahead.
Celebrities Who Don't Shave Pubic Hair - Full Bush
Photo: Bertrand Rindoff Petroff/Getty Images.
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There used to be a time when flashing the public was considered unacceptable... we miss those days! Unfortunately for us, celebs "accidentally" showing off their undies (if they happen to be wearing any) is now kinda normal and seems to be happening more and more. *sigh*
Imogen Thomas. Is she wearing panties or not?
Kate Middleton. Even the future queen lacks of class sometimes!
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